𝙸𝚝 𝙰𝚕𝚕 𝙴𝚗𝚍𝚜 𝙷𝚎𝚛𝚎 (𝔾𝕚𝕪𝕦𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕠) {𝓚𝓝Ⴘ}
𝓒𝓱𝓪𝓹𝓽𝓮𝓻 14: 𝓜𝔂 𝓛𝓸𝓼𝓼
Giyu POV:
I'd opened the heavy door again and almost bumped into a girl wearing pigtails and blue butterflies in her hair. She was holding a tray filled with food and medicine.
She jumped back and apologised, but I just brushed past her in silence. I excused myself from the Butterfly Mansion and left as quickly as possible.
Thoughts were spinning in my head, and I had to get back to my estate to clear my head.
Now was probably the worst time to run into me, but my bad luck decided right now was perfect for Tanjiro to head over.
"Oh! Tomioka-san!" Tanjiro waved to me from where he was training with the boar and the yellow-haired kid, with the demon watching them.
I gave a slight wave back and contuined walking to suggest I wasn't up for conversation, but the oblivious boy ran straight up to me, grinning.
"Tomioka-san! Long time no see!" He said happily. He was obviously in a good mood today- well, I wasn't. "How have you been doing?"
"Fine." I replied shortly.
"Nezuko and I have had lots of succesful missions recently! It's all thanks to you for giving Nezuko a chance and leading me to Urodaki-sama!" Tanjiro smiled. "I hope you don't worry about Nezuko eating someone, because she's even made a few human friends!"
"Oh... good." I wanted to excuse myself, but my mouth just wouldn't move. I stood frozen to the spot.
"You should come teach me, Zenitsu and Inosuke sometime!" Tanjiro grinned. "We'd learn a lot from you! I'd love to improve my Water Breathing with your help!"
"Oh... sure." My mood lifted a little. Tanjiro was such a sweet boy. "Sometime."
"We should do it next Tuesday!!" Tanjiro decided. "Would 2 o'clock work for you? I'll send you a message to confirm if you have any last-minute missions!"
"Okay. I don't think I have anything on Tuesday."
What had I just done? Would I even be mentally composed by Tuesday?
"Oh, good! Well, I'm sure you have someplace to be. See you there!" Tanjiro ran off, waving at me.
I waved back and as soon as he was out of sight, I took the long way back to avoid anyone else.
At the estate
I threw open the door, entering my lonely estate. I had no time- or rather, I didn't bother to decorate the mansion. Himari sometimes stayed here when she was in the area, but she always left with everything with her, so she didn't decorate my estate (though she often suggested it).
I didn't bother turning on the lights. The dim sunlight from the window was enough.
Sinking onto my knees, I collapsed onto the floor and let my thoughts flood my mind.
Not Himari. Not her too.
Don't be selfish, Giyu. At least she didn't die. She left of her own free will. She said you didn't do anything. It just her parents and her personal comfort.
But not her. The last person keeping my sanity afloat.
Before Himari, I'd believed everyone I loved would eventually die. But she made me change that. She helped me become a better person.
But now she was gone too.
Come to think of it, her reasons were probably excuses. She was sick of me- sick of me being depressed all the time, sick of me being silent or unfriendly, sick of me being away often, sick of me as a person.
Sabito and Tsutako believed in me, but I knew I could never do it. Nobody had ever loved me like they had, and I would never have someone like them again.
But most importantly- I didn't deserve someone like them.
God had given me a second chance at happiness, but I'd thrown it away like rubbish. I hadn't appreciated Himari enough. I took everything for granted- living, breathing, just being alive was something people had died for.
Too many people had died for me.
It wasn't going to happen again.
How to do that?
Simple.
I stood up, unconsious tears slipping down my cheeks. I always cried whenever I thought of Tsutako and Sabito, even if I didn't realise it.
I went into the kitchen and found the sharpest knife I owned- a deadly-looking knife that was used for cutting deli.
I went into the bathroom and prepared myself, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it.
Commiting suicide was a constant temptation, but everytime I tried to do it, thoughts of Tanjiro flooded my mind.
I promised him I would teach him next Tuesday.
But that didnt mean I couldn't do this.
Pressing the knife deep onto my arm, I winced at the pain but didn't stop. The knife left dark gashes and wounds on my arms and thighs. I didn't stop until I was satisfied with the buzzes of pain ringing through my body.
Self-harm.
Red flag number one.
A/N: Angsty chapters ahead 0-0 Proceed at your own caution (A lot of you requested angst so here it is if this makes you cry I've officially completed my job as an author)
To any contuinous readers of this book, I'm glad to announce my holiday at Japan is now over and I will be returning to weekly updates of this book!
Bạn đang đọc truyện trên: ZingTruyen.Xyz