Chapter Nine
"Tisoy, ano ba?" Natatawang sabi ko when he splashed me with water. I splashed back and he splashed me back again, resulting in a splash fight.
He tried to get me but I ran away from him while still splashing me with water.
"Huwag kang magpapahuli sa'kin..." He said with warning in his voice.
"Or what?" Naghahamon na sabi ko.
"You don't want to know." He sneered arrogantly.
"Oh believe me, I do." I said with a low chuckle.
He dipped his head in the water and started to swim to wear I was standing. Bago pa ako nakatakbo palayo, he already popped up in front of me.
He put both his hand over the edge of the pool right behind me, imprisoning me with his arms. I stared up at him, his height towering over me. He gave me a meaningful smile, wiggling his eyebrows up and down.
"Ano yan ha?" I asked, playfully giggling.
"I want to kiss you." He huskily said.
I looked around, nobody was in the backyard but us. But still, I was worried someoene walk in on us and see us.
"Isa lang ha." I said.
He puckered his lips up and leaned down to me. I tiptoed, giving him a soft and quick kiss on the lips.
"Ang bilis naman." He complained.
"Ano ka ba? Baka mamaya may makakita sa atin." Sabi ko.
Nobody knew about our relationship but us. My parents wouldn't like the idea of us dating because Tisoy was already like a son to them, he was a part of our family now. We decided to keep whatever we had a secret.
He rested his forehead against mine and looked into my eyes.
"What if they find out about us?" Nag-aalalang tanong ko.
He let out a deep sigh. "Hindi ko pa alam. I didn't expect this to happen... I didn't expect us to happen. All I know is that I've never felt this way before."
"Kahit kay Melissa?" My brow arched up.
"Kahit kaninong babae. I've always felt this for you, this strange, unique thing. I've never felt something as intense as this for anyone and I don't I'll ever will."
Me too.
"But this feels wrong." His emotion shifted into something else. "Parang magulang ko na din ang mga magulang mo. Malaki ang tiwala nila sa akin pero ito pa ang ginawa ko. Para ko na rin silang ginago."
"I wanted this too... hindi lang naman ikaw ang may kasalanan." I said.
"But I'm older than you, I should've known better." There was guilt in his voice.
"Alam mo huwag muna natin yang isipin. As long as we're careful, we wouldn't get caught." I smiled, trying to lighten up the mood.
Without saying a word, he pulled me against his body and gave me a gentle kiss on the forehead.
I hugged Tisoy tighter as I felt the wave of pleasure washing over my body. He started thrusting a little faster, a little harder. A soft moan escaped my lips. He covered my mouth with his to keep me from making any noise and after a few more thrust, I felt his body stiffened on top of me.
He buried his face into my neck and groaned against my skin. Our chest rapidly rose up and down as we tried to catch our breaths. He got off on top of me and went straight to the bathroom to remove his condom and clean himself up.
After a few minutes, he got out of the bathroom, picked his clothes up from the floor and wore it. Umupo siya sa gilid nang kama ko and he leaned over to me, giving me a peck on the lips.
"Tisoy..." I bit my bottom lip.
"Yeah?"
Hindi ko alam kung ano ang paano ko sasabihin sa kanya ito. Kanina pa ako nag-iipon nang lakas ng loob. I took in a deep breath and decided to tell him what had been bothering me for days now.
"I still haven't had my period." Sabi ko.
Biglang nag-iba ang reaksyon niya. He looked shocked. He drew his head away from me and let out a soft curse.
I sat down, clutching the blanket over my naked body.
"Are you telling me...?" Kumunot ang noo niya.
My head shook. "I... I'm not sure. I was suppose to have my period five days ago."
Marahas na isinuklay niya ang daliri niya sa buhok niya. "I'm always careful with you."
"The first time we did it... we didn't use any protection." Mahinang sabi ko.
He let out a pained breath and tightly closed his eyes. "Shit!" He opened his eyes and looked at me. "You're too young for this, Mallory, and your parents doesn't even know about us!"
They didn't know what was going on between us. Natutuwa pa nga sina Mommy at Daddy sa closeness namin ni Tisoy. Hindi nila alam na may nangyayari na sa amin sa loob mismo nang bahay namin. Kung buntis nga ako, hindi ko alam kung paano namin ito ipaliliwanag sa kanila.
"This is all my fault. I shouldn't have touched you." He said with regret in his voice.
"Nangyari na. Wala na tayong magagawa."
"Bibili ako ng pregnancy test bukas para makasiguro tayo."
"What if it turns out positive." I asked, worriedly.
"Kailangan natin sabihin kina tito at tita." Sabi niya. "We can't keep it from them o hintayin lumaki ang tiyan mo bago natin sabihin."
He bought five pregnancy test kits and, thank God, all came out negative. Pareho kaming nakahinga nang maluwag ng makita namin ang resulta. I had my period the next day. Pero mula nang mangyari iyon, nagsimula na din siyang umiwas sa akin. Naiintindihan ko naman siya. The pregnancy scare was a wake up call for the both of us.
I found out about birth control pills through my friend. Gumagamit siya nito. She said it was effective, she'd been using it for a long time. Kaya bumili ako nangbirth control pills para sa akin and I started taking it.
Kumakabog ang dibdib ko nang huminto ako sa harap ng kwarto ni Tisoy. It was already twelve in the morning and I knew everyone in the house were already asleep.
I brought my fist up and made a soft knock on his door. After a couple knocks, the door opened and there he stood with hooded eyes. Halatang kagigising niya lang. Pero biglang nanlaki ang mga mata niya nang makita ako.
"Mallory..." He said. "A-ano'ng ginagawa mo dito?"
I'd missed him. We were living under the same roof. I see him everyday but he hardly makes eye contact with me. Things weren't the same between us after that pregnancy scare.
I threw my arms around his neck and kissed him, pushing him in his room and kicking the door behind us. He wrapped his arms around my body and began kissing me back.
Then all of a sudden, he pulled away from the kiss, holding me on both shoulders and pushing me away. I looked up at him, confused.
"Bakit?"
"This isn't right, Mallory."
"I'm on birth control." Sabi ko.
"Why are you on birth control?" He frowned.
"Para hindi ako mabuntis." I bit my bottom lip.
"You should stop taking it. I... We should stop seeing each other like this. You're too young... too innocent..."
"I'm already eighteen! Hindi na ako bata at lalong hindi na ako inosente! Ikaw higit sa kanino man ang dapat may alam niyan, you were the one who took my virginity." My voice raised.
His gaze dropped along with his face. "Hindi... hindi tama ang ginagawa natin. I'm so sorry, that shouldn't have happened. I shouldn't have done that."
"Tisoy..." I said, swallowing the lump forming in my throat.
"Mabuti pa, bumalik ka na sa kwarto mo."
"No, I want to be with you." Matigas na sabi ko.
"Don't be hard headed. Bumalik ka na sa kwarto mo." He hardened his voice just a bit. He grabbed me by the arm and tried to drag me out of the room.
"Don't you like me anymore?" I could feel my strong front starting to fade away. "Ayaw mo na ba sa akin?"
"Mallory..." His head dropped like a wilted flower. "Just go... You're not suppose to be here."
"Answer me..." I tried to keep my voice from quivering.
"Mabuti pa umalis ka na bago pa may makakita sa atin." He weakly said and then shut the door in front of my face.
At that precise moment, he shattered my entire world. He broke me.
~~~
I had lost count of how many times we made... I mean sex, how many times we had sex yesterday. It was just sex. Pure, simple, unadulterated sex between two consenting adults. After that I asked him to leave because I wanted to be left alone.
I took in a deep breath, preparing myself mentally, as I neared my floor. Not a second later, the elevator door opened.
I stepped out of the elevator and walked, passing by rows and rows of cubicles.
"Mallory." Tawag sa akin nang isa sa mga katrabaho ko na si Lanie. Isa siya sa mga unang nakilala ko dito nang magsimula ako. "Gusto mo nang pizza?" She held out a box of pizza and opened it. "Kuha ka."
"Thanks pero wag na, kakabreakfast ko lang." I politely declined. I looked around and almost everyone had pizza in their hands. "Bakit? Ano bang meron ngayon? May pizza party ba?"
"Hindi ko nga din alam kung ano ang okasyon ngayon." Lanie shrugged her shoulders. "Basta pagpasok ni sir Derek nagpautos siyang bumili ng pizza para sa buong floor. Sobrang ganda nga ng mood ngayon, lalo tuloy siyang gumagwapo." She giggled like a highschool girl.
"Oh okay... Papasok na ako, medyo late na kasi ako." Paalam ko bago ako tumalikod at naglakad papunta sa office.
The first thing I noticed was the cup of coffee sitting on the top of my table when I got in. Umupo ako at tinitigan ang cup na iyon. I noticed a note written on the cup and I read it.
Good morning, beautiful. I hope you slept well. — Derek
My heart felt like it just flipped inside my chest. I leaned back to my swivel chair, just quietly staring at the cup of coffee. I started thinking of what he said yesterday.
Hindi na dapat ako naniniwala sa mga sinasabi niya. Hadn't I learned my lesson? Hadn't I learned anything from the past. I collected myself and my emotions. My face hardened. I picked up the cup of coffee, got up and threw it into the garbage bin.
"Hindi ka ba mahilig sa kape?" Derek's voice startled me.
Napalingon ako sa kanya. He was leaning against the door frame to his office with an amused expression on his face.
"No." Matipid na sagot ko.
"Is there anything you want?" He asked.
"I want to work and be left alone in peace. I'm just here for the paycheck." I gave him a sarcastic smile.
"Our we back to square one?" He sighed.
I didn't answer him. I went back to my seat and pretended to work. As I was opening my computer he was suddenly next to me and was grabbing me by my wrist.
"Derek, ano ba? What do you want from me?" I tried to pry my arms away from his hold.
"May pupuntahan tayo." Sabi niya at walang sabi-sabing hinatak ako patayo. He dragged me out of the office to the elevator. Bumaba kami sa parking lot and he shoved me right into his car. He closed the door and when I tried to open it, it was locked from the inside.
"Where are you taking me?" I angrily shouted at him the moment he slid behind the wheels.
"You'll see." He said with a grin before starting his car.
He drove for about an hour. I didn't say a single word to him as I was really pissed off. Bigla kaming pumasok sa isang village. The place started to look more and more familiar. How could I forget this place? This was where I grew up...
Huminto kami sa harap ng isang bahay. The gate opened and he drove in. It was our old house. A wave of nostalgia hit me like a ton of bricks. He stopped his car in front of the entrance and got out. Hindi ako nakagalaw sa kinauupuan ko. He opened the door for me and held out his hand.
Kinuha ko iyon at inalalayan niya ako pababa. My legs were shaking and I tried hard to stand still. I could almost see mom standing in the front of our house. Madalas kasi hinihintay niya kami ni Tisoy na umuwi galing school.
He guided me in and the living room greeted us. I could picture Dad and watching over my shoulder as I draw on top of the coffee table. I felt like I was walking through a time warp when everything was okay, when I was living a happy fairytale where I was the princess, when everything was okay.
"I bought this house..." Sabi ni Derek. "for you."
I had to swallow, forcing the lump forming in my throat down. I couldn't think of anything to say to him. I looked around the house. Halos parehong-pareho ang mga gamit sa bahay namin dati. I never thought I'd see this place again. It was so full of bitter sweet memories.
I found myself climbing up the stairs, heading towards my old room. Dahan-dahan kong binuksan ang pinto nang kwartong iyon.
The furnitures all looked new and more expensive than what I used to have. Pero halos gayang-gaya nito ang dating kwarto ko. I sat on the edge of my bed, trying to collect myself. I took in a deep breath, hoping it would be enough to push away the searing pain that I was feeling right now.
Bumukas ang pinto at pumasok doon si Derek. He quietly sat next to me.
"Are you okay?" He asked.
"I just... I miss my old life." I said.
"I miss our old life too." He said and drew a sharp inhale. "The life I had with you and your parents... that's the happiest I've ever been in my whole entire life. Sa inyo ko nalaman kung ano ang pakiramdam magkaron ng isang pamilya."
And then you left...
"Why did you take me here, Tisoy?" I couldn't hide the anger in my voice.
"I missed hearing you call me Tisoy." He smile painfully. "Malaki ang kasalanan ko sa'yo, alam ko yun. Pero ginawa ko lang naman yun dahil iyon ang makakabuti para sa'yo."
"I don't care anymore!" I sighed. "We're adults now. Hindi na tayo mga bata. Kung ano man ang nangyari noon, iwan na lang natin iyon sa nakaraan. Move on, don't get stuck in the past."
"I can't do that... I still love you."
"Stop staying that!" I said in a cold tone. "I don't want to hear it."
"Don't you feel anything for me anymore?" He asked.
I let out a sarcastic chuckle. "I was a stupid teenager with raging hormones. I never felt anything for you but lust."
Bahagyang bumagsak ang mukha niya pero agad din siyang nakabawi. "And what about what happened to us yesterday? Hindi ka na teenager ngayon, Mallory. Was that just lust too?"
"Yes..." I lied, holding my chin up. If that was love then I didn't want anything to do with it.
I got up from the bed and walked to the door. "Gusto ko nang bumalik sa opisina. This is such a waste of time. I have a lot of work I need to finish." I coldly said.
My cold front dropped the moment I walked out of the door. I inhaled sharply as I felt hot tears blinding my vision.
I would never let him know that he broke me, even if it was just for a moment.
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