Chapter Eight
It was my eighteenth birthday. Isang buwan kaming nagprepare para sa eighteenth birthday kong ito. Sa garden namin gaganapin ang party. I invited all my friends and everyone we knew. I just got out of the shower and was sitting in front of the vanity mirror in my robe. My hair stylist was fixing my hair and the makeup artist was busy putting makeup on me.
"You're going to be the most beautiful girl in this party." The makeup artist said.
"She has always been the most beautiful girl for us." Mom smiled as she looked at me in the mirror.
I smiled back at her.
"I can't believe it. Parang noon lang ginagabayan ka pa ng daddy mo sa paglalakad. Ngayon dalangang-dalaga ka na." Mom got a little teary eyed.
"Mom, don't cry." I said because if she cried, I'd get emotional too. "I'm still your little girl."
"No matter how old you get, you'll still be our little Mallory." She said, hugging me from behind. I hugged her arm and gave it a little pat.
"I love you mommy, you and daddy." I said.
"We love you too." Sabi niya bago bumitaw sa pagkakayakap. "I'm just going to check the venue. Titignan ko kung maayos na ang lahat."
I nodded my head and then mom left. It took an hour for them to finish my makeup, my hair and to get me in my debut gown. It was an elegant purple ball gown made out of the finest satin. I thought the fashion designer did a wonderful job. I spun around in front of the mirror. I felt like a princess.
Sumilip ako sa bintana ng kwarto ko. It had a wonderful view of the garden. There were already a lot of people outside. The garden was illuminated by little light they hang around trees and bushes. It looked even more beautiful than before. It looked like the plants grew glowing little berries.
I had to check myself in front of the mirror one last time before I went out. Si Tisoy ang unang nakita ko nang dahan-dahan ako bumaba sa hagdan. He met me halfway on the staircase and offered his hand to me.
My eyes met his as I took his hand. He was so handsome in his tuxedo. His hair was swept back in a dashing sweep. His eyes lowered to the gown I was wearing before his gaze went back up my face.
"You're beautiful." He said, breathlessly. His eyes sparkled, he looked at me as if he really meant what he said.
"T—thank you." I said, feeling a little self concious.
Gumaling na ang mga paso at sugat na natamo niya sa insidenteng nangyari sa party. That happened over six months ago. Danilo and his friends were caught. Nagsampa ako ng kaso sa ginawa nila. They were dropped out of their basketball team at ang alam ko lumipat na si Danilo sa ibang school. Our relationship had been improved since that incident. Hindi ko masasabi na matalik na kaming magkaibigan but there was a change. He was almost killed because of me, because I didn't listen to him. He was the one who saved me.
Siya ang escort ko ngayon gabi. It was actually my parents' idea. Hindi naman ako tumutol doon dahil gusto ko din naman.
I wrapped my arm around his and we walked down the stairs together. Everyone turned their attentions to us as we made our grand entrance.
The party was nothing short of wonderful. I really did feel like a princess on my special day. I enjoyed it a lot. All my friends were there, all the people I love. It was a very enchanting night. Ginawa namin ang mga ginagawa sa debut. We had eighteen candles, eighteen gifts, eighteen roses.
My dad was my first dance, and then my male friends, and the last was Tisoy. I didn't know why but I felt a weird pounding in my heart as his hand wrapped around my waist, as we were looking into each other'e eyes. We danced to the song 'Can't help Falling In Love With You'. As we were dancing it felt like we were the only people there. Everything around us disappeared. He was all I could see. I felt like melting into a puddle as he stared into my eyes. I knew I was falling for him. I was falling for him so hard. No matter how hard I tried I was losing all control of my emotions.
"Dalagang-dalaga ka na." Sabi niya habang nagsasayaw kami. "You're so breathtakingly beautiful"
My cheeks flushed, a smile formed on my lips. "Ikaw din. Bagay sa'yo yang suot mo."
"Talaga?" His dimples showed when he smiled.
I nodded my head, trying to avoid his gaze. Natatakot ako na baka pagtinitigan ko siya malaman niya ang totoong nararamdaman ko. I was afraid he'd be able to tell that my heart pounding really loud right now I could hear it in my ears or that the butterflies in my stomach was making me uncomfortable.
"Salamat nga pala sa pagligtas mo sa akin." I never had the chance to thank him for what he did until now. "Dapat nakinig ako sa'yo."
"It's alright..." He gently said.
"It's not alright. You got hurt." Umangat ang tingin ko sa mukha niya. My hand lifted up to touch his face, he still had light bruises and cuts. Hindi na masyadong halata iyon pero sa malapitan kitang-kita. This was my fault. "I'm sorry."
"Wala 'yun. Malayo sa bituka." He chuckled gingerly.
"And thank you for thanking the fall for me." I said, resting my head on his chest. I could hear his heart beating. Bumilis nang tibok ng puso niya. It tuned and began beating in the same rythm as mine.
He told Mom and Dad that he got into a fight at the party. Hindi niya sinabi na ako ang dahilan kung bakit siya nandoon at kung bakit siya nabugbog. He had always protected me, he had always put me above himself.
The party ended wonderfully. I said goodbye to my parents, thanked them and of course my parents. I went to my room after the party and took a shower. Kalalabas ko lang ng shower nang may kumatok sa pinto ko.
I was only wearing robe and my hair was still wet when I opened the door. Pagbukas ko nakita ko si Tisoy na nakatayo sa harap ng pinto ko. He smiled at me, his cute dimples showed.
"Bakit?" I asked.
"Gusto ko sanang ibigay sa'yo itong regalo ko." He said, showing me a rectangular box wrapped in a purple gift wrap.
"Ano yan?" Tanong ko sa kanya.
"Why don't you open it?" He handed it to me.
I took it from him and unwrapped the gift. I, then, opened the velvet rectangular box. It was a necklace. A beautiful white gold necklace with diamond studded heart shaped pendant, it had my initial in the middle of the heart.
"It's beautiful." Namamanghang sabi ko habang hawak ang pendant nito.
"It'll look even more beautiful on you." Sabi niya. "Do you want me to put it on you?"
I smiled and nodded my head. He took the necklace from me and made me turn around. We stood in front of my vanity mirror as he put it on me. I held the heart shaped pendant as I looked at it in front of the mirror.
"I knew it would look perfect on you." Sabi niya habang nakatingin din sa repleksyon ko sa salamin. He spun me to face him and looked at me. "You're a woman now, Mallory. A very beautiful woman."
Hindi ko alam kung bakit pero biglang bumilis ang tibok ng puso ko. He was looking at me differently. Bumaba ang mga mata niya sa labi ko. I bit the bottom of my lip as I felt concious with him looking at me.
The next thing I knew, his lips were on mine. I gasped in surprise but when I recovered from the surprise, I felt myself softening. I felt my body relaxing and just enjoying the feeling of his warm lips against my lips.
He pulled away from the kiss and brushed his fingers through his hair. "Shit... I did it again, didn't I? I'm so sorry."
"Kiss me again." I said.
"Mallory..." Mahinang sabi niya.
"I said kiss me again." I demanded.
Hindi siya gumalaw. Tinitigan niya lang ako. Tisoy was astonished and more than a little confused. When he didn't do anything, I wrapped my arms around his neck and tiptoed so I could kiss him.
I moved my lips against his and it didn't take long for him to respond. Hindi ko namalayan na bumukas na pala ang robe na suot ko. I only noticed when I felt the cold air brushing against my naked skin. We pulled away from the kiss, his eyes lowering to my naked body.
I felt embarrased but the new sensation I felt between my legs overpowered it. His chest began to rapidly move up and down, his breath changing as he looked at me. I liked the reaction I was getting from him.
Instead of covering myself up, I let the robe slip from my shoulders and unto the floor. I could feel my cheeks flushing but I ignored it. My heart, oh God, it felt it was about to explode out of my chest. It was going faster and faster with each beat.
"You're beautiful." He said as his eyes explored my body.
"I want you to touch me." I seductively said, arching my body towards him.
His hand carresed the side of my breast. I stiffened and inhaled sharply when his thumb brushed my nipple.
Hinalikan niya ulit ako at binuhat ako papunta sa kama. Hiniga niya ako sa kama. He started to undress too. His body was lean and muscular, it was perfection. My eyes lowered to his manhood.
My eyes widened at the sight of it. That was the first time I had seen a male part in flesh. When he stood still, he was like a work of art.
My hand reached over to touch his length. I wanted to know how it feels like. He groaned as if in pain. Natakot naman na binawi ko ang kamay ko.
"Did I... did I hurt you?" I asked.
"No... it felt good. Really good." He answered.
Dahan-dahan kong ibinalik ang kamay ko doon. I wanted to explore, to feel every inch of it. As I was touching him, his hand went down to my mound. I felt like I was touched by a live wire when he touched me there. It was an unexplainable sensation. Para akong nakuryente, but it was a good kind of feeling. I opened my legs a little wider, wanting more of whatever it was. His fingers started exploring my folds and then he started massaging me, rubbing me in circular motion. I had never felt something like that in my whole entire life.
A weird sound escaped from my lips.
He wrapped his free hand around my hand that held his manhood. He started guiding my hand up and down.
My breath grew heavier as I felt something growing hotter inside me. My whole body tensed, it wanted something I couldn't name. His hand suddenly stopped massaging me. I whined in protest. And then I felt his finger entering me. He slowly pushed it in. I squeezed his manhood a little tighter as I moved my hand up and down.
"Mallory..." He let out a soft growl.
He pushed it further in and I yelped when I felt a discomfort bordering to pain sensation. He pushed in a little more.
"Derek!" I looked up at him, confused. One second I was feeling pleasure, now I was feeling this.
"You're so tight." He said through labored breath. "Do you want me to stop?"
"No..." I said with squeaky voice. I didn't want him to stop, no. I wanted this. I wanted him.
He slowly moved his finger in and out of me until I got used to it. He was patient and very gentle. The discomfort soon turned into pleasure. My hand continued to move up and down his length as his finger moved in and out of me.
Then I felt that pleasure I was chasing earlier. The pool of heat inside my stomach. It felt like there was a ticking time bomb in there, ready to explode at any moment.
"I'm almost there, Mal. Don't stop." He groaned. I didn't what he meant when he said he was almost there but I felt like I was almost there too.
My toes curled in ecstasy and I felt it explode. Something inside me was throbbing. And then I felt him throbbing in my hand too. White liquid oozed from the tip of his manhood down to his length and my hand. It was warm and gooey.
My body relaxed against the bed as I felt the wave after wave of pleasure subsiding. He reached for the tissue box on top of my bedside table and wiped off the goo from my hand and his manhood.
"That was... wow." Iyon lang ang nasabi ko.
He chuckled, giving me a kiss on the forehead. "You're so beautifully innocent."
"Let's do it again." I said. "This time I want you to take me."
"Mal..." He looked down at me with worry in his eyes. "Are you sure you want this."
I nodded my head.
He got on top of me and positioned himself between my legs.
"Mallory, are you really sure this is what you want?"
"Yes..." I answered.
"You're not going to regret this?"
"No..." I sincerely said.
"This is going to hurt."
I just nodded my head.
"Tell me when to stop, okay?" He said, bending his head down and giving me a kiss on the lips. He slowly and gently pushed himself in.
On the night of my eighteenth birthday, he made a woman out of me. I lost my virginity to him.
~~~
I was already in bed when I woke up. I sat up, stretching my arms out. I felt the cold air touch my naked body. Nang gumalaw ako naramdaman ko ang sakit sa buong katawan ko. I was sore all over. The part between my legs was tender. I'd use the muscle I hadn't used in a long time.
Siguro umalis na si Derek. Somehow, that thought made me sad but I tried to brush the feeling away. I wrapped the blanket around my body and went to the bathroom. I took a warm shower to try to relax my aching muscles.
I felt stupid. Why did I let this happen? I was the one who initiated it, it was my fault. Gusto kong iuntog ang sarili ko sa pader. It was the alcohol's fault. No. Why was I blaming the alcohol? Alcohols only lowers inhibitions which means that was what I really wanted but couldn't admit in my sober state.
I got out of the shower and put a comfortable dress on. Pagkatapos kong magbihis, lumabas ako ng kwarto.
"Kanina pa naghihintay ang pagkain." I stiffened at the sound of Derek's voice.
"A-ano'ng ginagawa mo dito?" I asked.
"Nagluto ako ng breakfast. Gutom na gutom kasi ako pagkagising ko. Aren't you hungry?" He casually said.
I shook my head.
"Masarap itong niluto ko. Nagsangag ako, nagluto din ako ng bacon at sausage."
"Hindi ba may pasok ka ngayon?"
"Ikaw din naman." He chuckled.
"They need you there, they don't need me." Dahilan ko.
"Well, I'm the boss. Kung ayaw kong pumasok, hindi ako papasok." He said.
"Okay." I coldly shrugged.
"I've been waiting for you to wake up so we could eat together. Pinakialaman ko na ang kusina mo, I hope you don't mind."
"Lahat ng meron ako, ikaw naman talaga ang may-ari, hindi ba?" I rolled my eyes at him.
"Come on, Mal. Huwag naman tayo mag-away ngayon. It's early in the morning. We were just fine last night, weren't we?"
My cheeks flushed as memories of last night flashed through my mind. I must admit, he was even better now compared to when we were younger. His body was even better than it used to be. Alam ko dahil nakabisado ko na ang katawan niya noon. He was like a wine, he gets better and better with age. It was inappropriate to think about it but I just couldn't help it.
"Halika na, mag-almusal na tayo." He took my hand and dragged me to the dining room.
Tahimik kaming kumain ng almusal.
"Tutal pareho naman tayong hindi pumasok ngayon, why don't we go out?" He suggested as he was spreading butter on his toasted bread.
I remained quiet, pretending too busy with my food to hear what he just said.
"Or do you want to stay here and rest?" He asked.
"Yeah..." I finally answered. That sounded like a good idea. My body was still sore and I just wanted to stay in bed all day.
"Okay, we'll stay." He said.
"We'll?" Tumaas ang kilay ko.
"Yes." He gave me a cheeky smile. "I'm staying here with you. Wala rin naman akong gagawin ngayon."
"How 'bout you go home?" My brow raised a little higher.
"Nah, I want to spend the day with you." He took a bite from his toast.
Hindi na ako nakaangal. This was his place after all. Nakikitara lang ako dito. Hindi ko naman siya pwedeng palayasin dito. But if he thinks what happened last night would happen again today then he's wrong. I would never let it happen again. One night of carelessness was enough.
I headed straight to my room after I cleaned up the plates. I wanted to draw. Drawing had always been my hobby and passion. I hadn't done this for a long time. I sat next on the window seat in my bedroom. I had my feet up the couch and the sketchbook on my lap as I tried to think of what I was going to draw.
I turned on the radio and started sketching. The view from my window was amazing. The trees below, the other buildings, the car... I decided that was what I was going to draw.
Habang abala ako sa pagguhit, bumukas ang pinto at hindi na ako nagulat nang makita kong pumasok si Derek.
"I waited for you to come out of your room so we could watch a movie." He said.
"I'm busy." I said, turning my attention back to my sketchbook.
Umupo si Derek sa bakanteng space sa paanan ko. "What are you drawing?"
"You're distracting me." I sighed.
"I'm sorry." He chuckled. "I'll just sit here and watch you."
Iyon nga ang ginawa niya. I tried my best to ignore him but I could feel the weight of his stare as I drew. I felt extremely uncomfortable and a little self-conscious. I could hardly focus on what I was drawing. My heart felt like it was skipping beats.
"What do you want from me?" I snapped. I couldn't take it anymore, being this near to him was pure torture. He made me feel things I didn't want to feel.
"Nothing. Gusto lang kitang panoorin."
"Ayaw ko na." I said, dropping my pencil and my sketchbook like a pathetic five year old throwing a tantrum.
Nang tumayo ako, tumayo din siya. I marched towards the door but he blocked me with his body.
"Ano ba paraanin mo ako?" I punched him in the chest but it seemed like it had no effect on him. He didn't bat an eye.
"Will you ever forgive me?" His voice was full of sorrow.
I looked up at him with glaring eyes. "No, I hate you. I hate you so much. You make me sick."
Gumuhit ang sakit sa mga mata niya. He took me in his arms and I tried to pry myself away from his hug but he pulled me tighter.
"I've always loved you... and I still do. I love you so much, Mallory."
"Sinungaling!" I said through gritted teeth. "You are such a liar!"
Pinagsusuntok ko siya sa dibdib at naramdaman ko ang pamumuo ng luha sa gilid ng mga mata ko. I began crying. I buried my face in his chest because I didn't him to see me in tears.
He cupped my face and made me look at him, his thumb wiping off my tears.
"Mahal na mahal kita, Mallory. Lahat nang ginawa ko, lahat ng meron ako ngayon, para ito sa'yo."
It was as if the universe had played a sick joke on us when the radio started playing 'Can't Help Falling In Love With You', the song we danced to on my eighteenth birthday. Without thinking, I threw my hands around him and kissed him.
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