Chapter Five
Tisoy had his first real girlfriend when he was seventeen. It was not Janna. Her name was Melissa. To say the girl was pretty was an understatement. She was gorgeous, commercial model gorgeous. At first, naririnig ko lang ang tungkol sa kanila. I thought it was one of those rumors. But then everything was confirmed when he decided to take Melissa to our house and introduce her to my parents. I hated him more because of that. He took his girlfriend to our house and we all had dinner together. The guts of that guy!
Gusto ni mommy at daddy si Melissa para kay Tisoy. She was in college and Tisoy was still in highschool. Pareho lang sila ng edad pero dahil nga nakapag-aral noon nasa highschool pa rin siya. Janna was a dean's lister, a varsity volleyball player, she plays the piano, she plays the guitar, and she was the best in everything you could think of. She was literally Miss Perfect and I hated her. She tried to be friendly with me but I made it clear that I didn't like her and we would never be friends.
I clearly remember this one incident like it was just yesterday, Mom and Dad were out and Melissa came over. Melissa was always welcome in our home. I couldn't stand being around that woman. Kinakausap niya ako kahit obvious naman na ayaw ko siyang kausapin. I left them in the living room and went up to my room. I read for a bit. Hindi din ako mapakali sa binabasa ko. It bothered me na silang dalawa lang ang magkasama ngayon.
I decided to shut my book and go downstairs. Wala na sila sa living room ng bumaba ako. I went to the pool but they weren't there either. Just as I was about to go inside, I heard soft whispers coming from the toolshed.
Blood raised to my head as my heart rate increased. I marched towards the tool shed and pulled it open. Melissa was undernearth Tisoy with only her bras and shorts on. They pulled away the moment the door opened. Tisoy turned his head to me, his eyes widened in shock. It was as if time had frozen. Para akong napako sa kinatatayuan ko at hindi din sila nakagalaw agad. He opened his mouth but no words came out so he closed it again.
"Ang babastos niyo!" I managed to scream. Tumalikod na ako at nagmamadaling lumabas doon.
"Mallory!" I heard him call my name but I ignored him.
With big steps, I was half running and half walking. He ran after me and quickly caught up with me. His fingers wrapped around my arm and he turned me around so I was facing him. I gave him a searing glare when our eyes met.
"You are disgusting! Dito mo pa ginagawa yang mga kababuyan niyo! Mom and Dad will know of this!" I angrily said.
"Mal, I'm so sorry. Hindo ko sinasadyang makita mo 'yon."
"Bitawan mo ako!" I said, struggling to get out of his grip.
"I'm so sorry." He said with regret written all over his face.
Before I could think of what I was doing, my hand raised and landed on his face. He let go of me and held his cheek as his eyes lowered to the ground. Gulat na tinitigan ko ang kamay an sumampal sa kanya bago ako muling tumingin sa kanya.
"I..." My mind went blank. I was shock at what I did but i quickly composed myself as best as I could. I ignored my shock and focused on my anger. "I HATE YOU, YOU PIG!"
"Derek..." I saw Melissa walking towards us. Huminto siya sa tabi ni Tisoy at ipinulupot ang magkabilang kamay sa braso nito.
That was when I turned away and ran inside. For some unknown reason, tears began to spill from my eyes and I could help it. My heart ached with a searing pain that refused to go away.
It was a pain I'd never felt before.
I went to my room, threw my body on the bed and cried. It hurt. I didn't understand what I was feeling, all I knew was that I was hurting. So bad.
My eyes fluttered open. Nasa isang magandang kwarto ako at kumportableng kama. It was so comfy I didn't want to leave the bed. I wanted to stay in this room all day. I could hardly remember the last time I'd slept in an air conditioned room with a comfortable bed. Simula nang mawala ang mga magulang ko kasabay nun nawala ang buhay na nakasananayan ko. I lost everything.
I lost my comfortable life and had to fend for myself. It was scare. One day you're living a perfect life and then the next, you get thrown into the real world without any practice or tutorial to help you.
I tried to brush the thought away before I could throw myself a pity party. Hindi dapat ako nandito. I should be going home. I should be getting back to the real world. This wasn't where I belong anymore. I was no longer a princess. Baka kapag tumagal pa ako dito, mahirapan na akong makaalis dito.
I got out of bed and went to the bathroom to take a quick shower. I wore the new set of clothes Derek had brought me yesterday morning. It was a white skirt that ended mid-thighs and a chiffon black blouse. He really knew my taste.
Hindi ko maiwasan isipin kung siya pa din ba ang Tisoy na kilala ko ngayon. Marami nang taon ang lumipas, marami nang nagbago. But still, I couldn't help but think if there was still a little bit of Tisoy in him.
Derek cared for me. That was what he said. Pero siguro gusto niya lang bayarin ang utang na loob niya sa mga magulang ko. O kaya naaawa lang siya sa akin.
My jaw clenced at that thought. I didn't need his pity. I didn't want it and I wasn't going to take it.
I packed up my things and put it in the paperbag. I decided I was going to leave today. I'd be fine all by myself. Who did he think he is, coming into my life like this? Did he think I was a damsel in distress who needed a knight in shining armor to save me?
Well, he was wrong. I was no damsel and I was definetly not distressed.
I quietly exited the room.
"Magandang araw, ma'am Mallory." One of his maid greeted me as I closed the door to the room I had used for the past two nights behind me.
"Good morning." I gave her a slight smile.
"Kanina ka pa hinihintay ni sir Derek. Pinapapuntahan ka na nga ni sir sa kwarto, kakatukin na sana kita pero lumabas ka na."
"Bakit naman niya ako pinapupuntahan?"
"Eh gusto ka daw niyang makasabay mag-almusal."
"Hindi ako nag-aalmusal." I answered in an even tone. "Isa pa, paalis na din ako."
"Saan ka pupunta?" A deep voice asked. Pumihit ang ulo ko sa direksyon kung saan nanggaling ang boses na iyon. Derek climbed up to the last step of the stair and walked towards to where I was standing.
Our gaze met. His eyes were unreadable but still intense as it looked into mine.
Ako ang unang nagbaba ng tingin sa amin dalawa. "Uuwi na ako."
He dismissed the maid. The atmosphere grew thicker when we were left together in the hallway. I kept my eyes on the ground, avoiding looking into his.
"No, you're staying here." He firmly said.
My head snapped up. My eyes narrowed at him. "Sino ka para sabihin na magstay ako. Aalis ako kung kailan ko gusto."
His face remained stoic as he looked at me. "Hindi. Ka. Aalis." He slowly, carefully and firmly said each word.
He took one step towards me and I had to step back. I felt smothered being this close to him. He took another step and I took another step back. I couldn't take it, being near him. Being able to take in his scent. Being near the warmth of his body. I felt intimidated by his towering height and musculine presence.
"What? You're going to go back to that dumpster apartment of yours? You're going to go back to that club and serve horny drunk guys in a skimpy uniform?" He said in a low growl. "Gusto mo bang mabastos ka na naman?"
"What do you care?" I tried to keep my voice strong but it shook at the last word. "Bakit ba pinakikialaman mo ang buhay ko?"
"Because I want to make sure you're safe." He took another step and I stepped back until I felt my back against the door behind me. Umangat ang isang kamay niya para haplusin ang pisngi ko. I involuntarily took a sharp breath in.
"Get away from me!" Both my hands pressed against his chest and I pushed him away. Nakakailang hakbang pa lang ako palayo sa kanya ng hawakan niya ako sa braso at isinandal pabalik sa dingding.
"You bastard, let me go!" I spat.
His face lowered and stopped a few centimeters away from mine. I was forced to look at his honey eyes. My legs trembled, I felt like it would give in anytime soon.
"If I have to keep you locked inside this house, I would. Trust me." Mababa pero malalim ang boses na sabi niya. I could feel the warmth of his breath on my face as he spoke. His breath smelled of mint and coffee. It sent instant shivers down my spine.
"Let me go." My voice came out as a whisper.
"No, I won't let you go... not anymore..." I sensed a tinge of sorrow in his voice.
There were no words spoken after that. As I was looking at him, I felt like time had stood still. He sighed, bringing me back from the trance state. I felt his hand loosening around my arm and he stepped away from me.
"Mag-usap tayo, Mallory. I can't let you go back to that kind of life." He said, his voice now formal. "I'm going to give you a job. You're going to work for me."
"You'll work for me as my personal secretary." He explained as he swirled a glass of what looked like an alcohol in his hand. He took me to his study to talk to me. We were surrounded by shelves and shelves of books. Sa gitna ng kwarto nandoon ang desk niya na gawa sa mahogany wood. In front of his desk was two wooden dark brown leathered armchair. His study was a mixture of indulgent comfort and high end business. "Bibigyan kita ng sarili mong condo unit na pwede mong gamitin habang nagtatrabaho ka sa akin. But don't worry you'll still get paid while you work for me."
"Is this one of your charity works?" I let out a sarcastic sneer. "I bet your enjoying every minute of this huh? Ipinamumukha mo sa akin na mas mataas ka na ngayon kaysa sa akin..."
"Mallory, alam mong hindi yan ang iniisip ko." Mariin na sabi niya. "Yan ang problema sa'yo! You always think I'm competing with you. I never competed with you and I never will. I've always..." He sighed, his eyes lowering. "I've always put you up on a pedestal."
My throat felt like it was constricting.
"I can't accept your offer." I shook my head. "Uuwi na lang ako."
His eyes snapped back up. "Please, Mal, let go of your pride and be practical." Hinawakan niya ang kamay kong nakapatong sa ibabaw ng desk. "Believe it or not, I only wish the best for you. I want you to have a good life. Hindi ako nandito sa harap mo ngayon para ipamukha sa'yo kung ano ang meron ako."
His words sounded so sincere at his hand was warm as it squeezed mine. I felt like melting into a puddle at the sincerity and softness of his words.
"I just want you to get back on your feet. Kapag nakaipon ka na ng sapat na pera, kapag kaya mo nang mag-isa, pakakawalan na kita. Titigilan na kita. Kung gusto mo hindi na ulit ako magpapakita sa'yo."
I swallowed as I felt the lump on my throat. I won't have to see him again? We wouldn't see each other ever again... that was suppose to be a good thing right? But what caused this heaviness in my chest? Maybe I could save up for a plane ticket. I'd always wanted to live in another country and pursue my art career. I wanted to go far away from here. I had nothing to live for here anymore.
"Pumapayag na ako." I exhaled after a few minutes of silence.
His face lit up. "Really?"
Tumango ako. A wide smile spread across his lips.
He took me to his office right away to give me a brief orriention. My job was to answer his calls, check his emails, ocassionaly answer it for him, and book him reservations. It was better than working at a club. At least now I didn't have to deal with drunk customers and put up with them for bigger tips.
And all these only cost me my pride.
I was working for Derek now, ang gusgusing batang pinulot nina mommy at daddy sa labas ng simbahan. Now the table has turned. Pakiramdam ko ako na ang gusgusing batang pinulot ni Derek. I felt small and embarrassed.
"If you need anything from me or you need to tell me something, you can use the intercom." He said, pointing at the square thing sitting on the corner of the desk.
I just nodded my head.
"I swear, I won't give you a hard time." He joked, trying to lighten up the mood.
My lips didn't break a single smile.
Sumeryoso ang mukha ni Derek. "My intentions are good, Mallory. I won't do anything to hurt you. You can just trust me, open up a little."
My face remained stoic.
Hinilot niya ang sentido niya at napabuntong-hininga. He opened his mouth and was about to say something when a woman, popped out behind me. Tinakpan nito ang mga mata niya.
"Hulaan mo kung sino ako." Malambing ang boses na sabi ng babae.
"Ellen." He confidently answered.
The woman took her hand off from his eyes and he spun to face her. Sinalubong siya ng babae ng yakap.
"What are you doing here?" Derek asked, smiling.
"Wala lang. Masama bang magpunta dito?" She giggled.
I felt something in my chest, a tightening of sorts as I watch them. I chewed on my lower lip and had to look away. No, I wasn't supposed to feel this way.
"Hey, I want you to meet my secretary, Mallory." He said, putting his arm around the back of her waist. Napilitan akong tumingin pabalik sa kanila. I gave the woman a small smile, just because I didn't wnat to be rude.
"Hi, Mallory. My name's Ellen." She held her hand out to me.
I was forced to shake her hand. Ellen was beautiful. She had this vibrant charm that matched her personality.
I took in a breath as I felt my chest grew heavier. I remember the first time I felt this feeling. It was when I caught him with Melissa making out in the toolshed. It was when I cried myself to sleep that night.
Sometimes it's not the butterflies that tell you you're in love but the pain.
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