Chapter Six
I was a sophomore in college when I had my first boyfriend. His names was Danilo, a popular basketball player in our school. He had an infamous reputation of being a badboy. Hindi ako nakinig sa mga sabi-sabi nila. To tell the truth, I didn't really have any feelings for him. I was a teenager and a lot of girls were all over him. Tapos nagkataon na ako yung nagustuhan niya. I said yes to him just for the sake of having my first boyfriend. Like any other hopeless romantic girl my age I had this hopeless romantic idea of changing a bad boy into a good boy.
He courted me for a month before I started going out with him. Danilo was popular so it wasn't a surprise when gossips about us spread like wildfire in the campus when we started dating.
"Hey, babe." Danilo wrapped his arms around my waist when I came up to him after his basketball practice.
"You were so good." I said, smiling.
"Syempre, kailangan kong galingan. Ayaw ko naman mapahiya sa'yo." Sabi niya. "How was your day?"
"Okay naman." Sagot ko.
"Are you free tonight? My friend's having a party. Gusto sana kitang isama." Sabi nito.
Sandali akong natigilan. I could call Mom and Dad up and tell them na hindi ako makakasabay kay Tisoy umuwi. Idadahilan ko na lang na may project akong kailangan tapusin.
"No, she's not free tonight." I heard someone say.
Parehong pumihit ang ulo namin sa direksyon kung saan nanggaling ang boses na iyon. Tisoy was standing a few feet steps away from us. His face was hard and grim with what looked like a controlled anger.
"Mallory, umuwi na tayo." Matigas ang tonong sabi niya. He had never used that tone of voice on me before.
"I have other plans for tonight." I said with my chin held high. "Umuwi ka mag-isa mo."
"I'm not going to go home without you." He firmly said.
"Sino ba 'yan?" Danilo asked.
"He's nobody." I said as I looked directly into Tisoy's eyes. "Ampon lang siya ni mommy at daddy. Don't mind him."
His honey brown eyes narrowed at me. "Uuwi kang kasama ko." He took big, fast step to where we were standing and he grabbed me by the wrist.
"Tisoy, ano ba?" I said as I tried to pry my hand away from his grip.
"Hey, get your hand off my girl." Asik ni Danilo habang hawak ang isang kamay ko.
"You get your hand off of her." Tisoy said in a very pissed off tone.
"Nakakalalaki ka na ah. Eh ampon ka lang naman pala ng mga magulang ni Mallory. Ano, pare? Gusto mo ba ng gulo, bibigyan kita. Suntukan na lang ha?" Danilo dropped my hand and charged at Tisoy.
Danilo was tall as well, they were almost the same height. Even though Danilo was slightly taller than Tisoy, about an inch or so, he tiptoed to try to look more intimidating.
"Ano ha?" Danilo looked at Tisoy with sharp eyes, almost bumping his body against him. "Tara. Magsuntukan na lang tayo. Ipakita mo sakin tapang mo."
"Ano ba, Danilo? Tumigil ka nga!" Awat ko sa kanya.
"Hindi yata ako kilala nitong ampon niyo. Magpapakilala lang ako." He smirked at me before his gaze went back to Tisoy.
The moment he looked back at him, Tisoy's fist landed on his jaw and he dropped to the ground like a paper.
"Tisoy!" I shrieked in surprise when I saw Danilo lying on the floor.
Walang sabi-sabing hinatak ako ni Tisoy palabas ng gym. He dragged me to the parking lot and shoved me inside the car. Binigay ni Dad ang lumang kotse niya sa amin. Mom and Dad said it was for both of us. Since I was only seventeen and didn't know how to drive, Tisoy was the one who drives for me. Umikot siya sa driver's side at pumasok sa loob ng kotse.
"Why did you do that to Danilo?" I asked in a stern voice.
"Totoo ba ang balitang boyfriend mo na ba siya?" He said in an icy tone.
"Ano bang pakialam mo?"
"Boyfriend mo na ba siya?" Mariin na tanong niya.
"Oo, boyfriend ko na siya!" I shouted angrily. "Ano naman sa'yo?"
"I'm telling tita and tito." He said.
"Bakit ba nangingialam ka sa buhay ko? Pinakialaman ko ba kayo ni Melissa? Nagsumbong ba ako kay mommy at daddy noong nakita ko yung kababuyang ginawa niyo sa mismong pamamahay namin?"
"He's not good for you." He sighed, his body limping against his seat. "Alam nang lahat ng tao ang reputasyon niya."
"Hindi ako naniniwala sa mga sinasabi nila. Kilala ko si Danilo!"
"How long have you known him? How long have you been together?" He said in a low growl.
"Long enough to know the real him." I lied. We'd been dating for only a week now. I didn't know much about him and I never bothered knowing anything about him. Maybe it was because I wasn't really into him. Siguro kaya ko nga lang sinagot si Danilo dahil kay Tisoy. I thought maybe pwede kong ibaling na lang kay Danilo ang kung anumang nararamdaman kong ito para kay Tisoy.
"Alam mo bang may anak na si Danilo. He has two children from two different mothers at kahit isa sa mga nanay ng mga anak niya, wala siyang pinanagutan." Tisoy said through gritted teeth. "Gusto mo bang mapabilang sa mga babaeng iyon?"
I was surprised at what I had found out. I never knew about it but I couldn't admit that, not in front of Tisoy. Tinakpan ko ang pagkagulat ko.
"Those were all lies." I said. "Mahal ako ni Danilo."
"At naniwala ka naman? Sigurado akong iyon din ang sinabi niya sa dalawang nanay ng mga anak niya. Had he touched you, Mallory?" Matalim ang boses na tanong niya.
I took in a sharp breath. "A-ano bang klaseng tanong yan? Wala kang pakialam sa buhay ko!"
"Nagpagalaw ka na ba sa kanya?" Now he was staring directly into my eyes. His eyes were sharp with a fury reflected in his biting tone.
Danilo hadn't even kissed me on the lips. He tried a few times pero palagi akong umiiwas. I just wasn't comfortable with it, I wasn't ready.
"Bastos!" I spat.
"Sagutin mo ako, Mal. Did you let him touch you?" He drew his face nearer to mine.
As much as I wanted to move my face away, I couldn't. The smell of his breath was intoxicating. My heart slammed against my ribcage like it was trying to escape from my chest. I felt a mixture of excitement, fear and anticipation having him this near me.
He pinched my chin in between his fingers and drew his face closer.
"No..." My voice came out as a squeak.
"Good." I felt his breath against my lips. "Don't ever let him touch you."
I felt his lips grazed against mine. I closed my eyes and I saw fireworks going off. His kiss brought alive sensations I had never felt before, making me yearn for more. Electricity ran from my lips throughout my whole body. Naramdaman ko ang bahagyang paggalaw ng mga labi niya at sinubukan kong gayahin iyon.
Doon huminto si Tisoy at inilayo ang mga labi niya sa akin. I let out a soft moan of protest when he pulled away. Marahas na ibinagsak ni Tisoy ang katawan sa kinauupuan niya at napamura.
"I shouldn't have done that!" May halong galit sa tono ng boses niya.
Agad napalitan ang nararamdaman ko ng sakit. I turned my head away from him, pretending to look out of the side window of the car. My eyes became watery, my chest ached painfully.
He regretted kissing me.
I didn't. He was my first kiss. Kung gagawin niya ulit iyon hindi ko siya pipigilan. I had always had a strange feeling for him. Natatakot ako sa nararamdaman ko para sa kanya kaya itinatago ko iyon sa likod ng galit.
Even if he didn't feel the same way, that kiss meant something to me. He meant something to me.
Just as he promised, he gave me my own condo unit. It was in a high end condominium building. Sinabi ko nga sa kanya na hindi ko naman kailangan ng ganito kagarbong tirahan. I just wanted a decent place I could live in while I work for him.
The unit had one bedroom, a kitchen, a dining room, and a living room. The house was already fully furnished. Everything looked expensive and luxurious but it lacked a personal touch. Gumana ang creativity ko. I thought of things I could add to my new home. I could see my drawings hanging on the walls of this unit. I could see myself sitting by the window and sketching some drawings.
"Do you like the place?" Derek asked.
"Yeah." I nodded my head as my eyes wandered around the room.
His hands were tucked inside his pocket as he casually leaned his back against the wall. "I knew you would. I just added some furnitures I thought you need but you may decorate the place as you wish."
"Thank you." I quietly said. "Pero hindi naman ako magtatagal dito."
The smile on his face disappeared. Something flashed across his eyes but before I could make out what it was, his smile reappeared again.
"Let me get us a glass of wine." He disappeared into the kitchen and went back after a minute or two with two glasses of wine in his hands.
He handed one to me.
"Cheers." He lifted his glass up. I did the same.
We sat on the couch and quietly drank our wine.
"What are you planning to do when you save up enough money?" He suddenly asked, breaking the silence.
I shrugged my shoulders. "I'm going to get away from here."
"Where are you planning to go then?"
"Anywhere. Gusto ko lang naman na magsimula ulit. Life here has been tough for me since mom and dad passed away."
"I'm sorry, Mal." His voice was low. "I wasn't there for you when you needed someone."
Nagbaba ako ng tingin sa hawak kong baso. I diverted my attention to the wine in my hand, swirling it around the glass. I didn't want to look at him in the eyes. I didn't want to see the hurt in them.
"Nang malaman kong wala na sa ospital si tito, hindi ko na alam kung saan kayo hahanapin. I tried to go back to the house we used to live in but you weren't there anymore. I hired an investigator. Doon ko nalaman na wala na sina tito at tita pero hindi ko alam kung nasaan ka. Nang malaman ko kung saan ka matutunton, you were already working in that club." He sighed as if a large weight was crushing his chest. "I'm sorry, Mallory. I should've been there for you."
"Forget about it." I shook my head. "Wala na naman saysay kung pag-uusapan natin ang mga bagay na nangyari na."
"Gusto ko lang malaman mo dahil ayaw kong isipin mo na kinalimutan na kita, kayo. I never forgot about you and your parents. Hindi ko makakalimutan ang ginawa ni tito at tita sa akin. They treated me as their own. You and your family gave me the best life I could have ever had."
Nanatili among tahimik. I quietly sipped some wine from the glass.
"Mal..." He all of a sudden took my chin in between his two fingers and forced my head up so I could look at him. "I don't want you to ever think na pinabayaan kita."
"But you did, didn't you?" I tried to keep my voice steady.
"Umalis ako para sa kapakanan mo... para sa'yo..."
"Bullshit." I said under my breath.
"Please, Mallory, believe me." His eyes were begging, they were desperate.
Nagbaba ako ng tingin. I didn't expect the next thing he did. I felt his warm, soft lips touched my lips. Napasinghap ako sa gulat sa ginawa niya. I was tensed at first but after awhile I softened into the kiss. I closed my eyes and just felt. I felt everything. His soft lips, his warm breath, the way his lips moved against mine, the way I responded to it.
Suddenly the image of the woman he introduced to me in his office, Ellen, came into my mind. No, I couldn't let this happen. He was already with someone. Hindi ako papayag na maging isa sa mga babae niya.
I put my hands on his chest to push him away. We both pulled away from the kiss. His body limped against the couch as if he'd ran out of energy. He massaged his temple. There was silence. A uncomfortably deafening silence between us.
"I think you should go home. Gabi na." Binasag ko ang katahimikan sa pagitan namin.
"I'm sorry, Mal." He said.
"Just go." Matigas na sabi ko.
He got up from his seat and headed towards the front door. I watched him leave. Ilang minuto akong nakatitig sa pinto kung saan siya lumabas.
I felt empty inside as I stared at the door where he had left. I'd always felt like that. Empty and cold. I'd always wonder if I would ever feel warm again. I did feel warmth when he was kissing me. Like fireworks going off in my head. The same feeling I felt the first time he kissed me.
I touched my tingling lips and closed my eyes.
He would always mean something to me.
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