break my heart again -yeonbin-
-entry twelve-
august 31st
yeonjun was pacing back in forth in his room. he was so anxious about seeing alex. he didn't want to see him but his parents don't let him skip school.
he thought about skipping class but that wouldn't make a difference because alex isn't in any of his classes and he'd end up seeing him in the halls or at lunch anyways.
he was shaking as he walked into school. he headed straight to his class trying to avoid crowded hallways. he was tired from yesterday and he didn't sleep well and to make things worse he had math first period.
yeonjun's school had this green and white day sort of thing where on green day's he'd have certain classes and white days would be different so they alternate instead of having all his courses in one day.
he really wished today could be a green day so history would be first period and he could just sleep through it. "i really should've skipped first period" yeonjun thought to himself.
as the day went by everything was going well, he didn't see alex at all. lunch was nearing though and it was a high chance they'd meet.
yeonjun decided to just pretend it was fine and walk to lunch. as usual he didn't eat, he was fat and needed to lose weight. maybe soobin would see he's skinny and find him attractive.
his friends walked out to the courtyard as he followed behind. as he looked around he saw the person he's been dreading to see. luck was definitely not on his side because his friends walked over to alex and started talking to him.
"hey guys i don't really wanna be here, i think i'm gonna go somewhere else."
"why not yeonjun? your always begging us to go to the courtyard cus it's 'depressing' inside the school."
"please? i wanna talk to you about something"
he was scared to tell them about what happened but he didn't really have a choice. 2 went with him while the rest stayed outside.
after he told them the whole story they felt really bad for not helping him out.
"guys it's fine. it's my fault anyways, i should've called out for you or something."
"no. you have to go confront him right now!"
"no i don't want to alright. i'll just avoid him or something."
yeonjun wasn't some tough guy to go yell at someone. sure he could talk shit and get angry about a person but never to their face.
his friends dragged him back out to the courtyard and told the rest about what happened. yeonjun stood to the side looking down. it felt shameful to be in this situation.
"since you aren't going to talk to him, we will"
yeonjun hid behind a tree. he really didn't want this. he didn't want to talk to alex at all. he snapped out of his thoughts as he saw a short figure walk up to him.
it was alex.
"h-hey, um i'm sorry for doing that to you. it was wrong and i didn't know that you didn't want it."
"yeah right because i definitely didn't tell you to stop a billion times" yeonjun thought to himself rolling his eyes.
"please don't tell the administrators" alex begged.
"k" even though yeonjun pretended like it was fine, it wasn't. he was going to shit his pants the whole time. not because he was scared of him, but because he has horrible anxiety and he hates confrontations.
"what a fucking pussy. did he really get scared and apologize just so i don't tell on him?" yeonjun questioned once he headed back to his friends.
"yeah we said we'd tell on him and he immediately said he'd apologize to you"
yeonjun could've told on him but he didn't want his parents finding out because they'd probably make him move schools and blame it on him.
everytime he would cross paths with alex, he (yeonjun) would hide behind his friends. he didn't want to even look at his face. it made him anxious.
he was happy his friends stuck up for him. sometimes they're nice and fun but they mostly ignore yeonjun or forget he's even there and he just follows behind them like a lost puppy.
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