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Suddenly, a man slid open the shoji door and bowed slightly.
"Pardon me. I've brought the items you requested," he said.
"Thanks," Tengen muttered, clearly annoyed.
Right before the interruption, Inosuke had blurted out with his usual lack of filter, "Your wives must be dead then."
Tengen twitched, his jaw clenched in rage as he slowly turned toward Inosuke like he was about to explode. Everyone else held their breath.
MAKEOVER TIME
You crossed your arms and shot Tengen a look as he began laying out makeup and wigs.
"Let me do my own makeup, dipshit," you said flatly. "I'm not about to look like them. I'd be too ugly."
Tengen blinked in disbelief.
Zenitsu, Tanjiro, and Inosuke facepalmed in sync.
"Y-Y/N-CHAN!! W-WHY DID YOU SAY THAT?!?" Zenitsu wailed, dramatic tears streaming down his face.
"Calm down, Lemonhead," you rolled your eyes.
Tengen just sighed and muttered, "You're more high-maintenance than all three of my wives combined."
"Thank you," you said with a smug grin, already pulling out your own eyeliner. "I take that as a compliment."
Tengen crossed his arms, his vein practically popping as he glared at you.
"Y/N! You're wasting time-sit down and let me do the makeup!"
You flipped your hair dramatically, grabbing your own brush set from your pouch.
"Back off, sparkle king. I told you-I'm not gonna look like a sad noodle with purple blush and eyebrows up to my forehead."
"High-maintenance brat!" Tengen hissed, throwing his hands in the air. "More effort than all three of my wives, I swear!"
"Yeah, well, maybe they don't have a face like mine," you smirked, already working on your eyeliner with deadly precision. "And if you mess up my wings, I swear I'll haunt you."
The boys sat awkwardly nearby, watching you like you were performing some kind of ancient art. Zenitsu looked like he was about to cry.
"Y-Y/N-chan, w-why are you like this?? You're giving Uzui-san an aneurysm!!"
"You'll live," you said sweetly, not even looking up as you blended.
After a few minutes, you set your brush down, snapped your compact shut, and turned to face them.
"Boom," you said, striking a pose. "Flawless."
Tengen, who was seconds away from dragging you out, froze mid-scoff. His mouth actually hung open for a second.
"...Whoa."
Even the God of Flashiness had to admit it.
You looked gorgeous.
The way the makeup enhanced your features without making you look clownish had him blinking twice. The dramatic lashes, the soft shimmer on your cheekbones, the bold lip-everything screamed confidence.
And the boys? Tanjiro's eyes widened, Inosuke physically leaned back like he'd been slapped, and Zenitsu?
Zenitsu straight up fainted.
"Don't tell me that loser passed out again-ugh." You rolled your eyes. "Anyway. I'll do your makeup now. All of you. No arguments."
Tanjiro blinked. "H-Huh?! Wait, me too??"
"You want to infiltrate or not?" you said, cracking your knuckles and grabbing your makeup brush. "Because I'm not about to let you go into the Entertainment District looking like a discounted dumpling."
Inosuke snorted. "You touch my face and I'll eat your makeup-"
"Sit down."
"...Yes ma'am."
Tengen stepped back, watching as you whipped each boy into makeover mode like a queen on a mission. As dramatic as you were, even he had to admit:
Damn. You knew what you were doing.
And you looked good doing it.
After the dramatic glam-up and chaotic fashion show of doom, it was finally time.
Tengen handed out the kimonos while dramatically sighing, "This is going to be a nightmare."
You smirked. "You'll survive. Barely."
He pointed to the pile of gorgeous patterned kimonos and said, "Put these on and meet me outside. Don't embarrass me."
"Oh trust me, I'll be the least embarrassing thing walking down that street," you said, already slipping into your outfit.
And you were right.
Once you and the boys were dressed, the group stood outside the wisteria house. Tengen stood tall in front of you all, one hand on his hip, the other gesturing grandly as if he were hosting some kind of royal debutante ball.
Tengen Uzui had you all lined up, looking like the flashiest version of a band audition.
Across from you stood the owners of a major house. The woman looked at all of you, tilting her head thoughtfully.
"We'll take that girl," she said, pointing directly at you.
You grinned. "Well, damn. I knew I was irresistible."
Tengen immediately stepped in with a charming laugh, waving his hand.
"Oh, no no-she's not one of the options. Only Sumiko, Zenko, and Inoko." He gestured to Tanjiro, Zenitsu, and Inosuke.
The woman's face fell in visible disappointment, and even the guy next to her let out a little sigh.
"Seriously?" you muttered, elbowing Uzui. "Why am I not part of the infiltration squad?! I could go with Zenitsu or Inosuke!"
"Because I need someone watching my back, obviously," he replied smoothly. "You're too valuable. And flashy."
You blinked at him. "That's the nicest backhanded compliment I've ever gotten."
"Take it and hush, brat."
Before you could sass back, Tanjiro gave your hand a gentle squeeze as he was being led away. "Don't worry, I'll be okay."
After Tanjiro and Inosuke were scouted by the first two houses, only you and Zenitsu remained standing beside Tengen.
You crossed your arms. "They really just left us like expired milk."
Zenitsu was nervously tugging at the hem of his kimono. "What if nobody picks me?!"
You turned dramatically. "I'd pick you, bestie. Even if you looked like an NPC from a mobile ad."
"Y/N!!" Zenitsu sniffled. "That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me..."
Tengen sighed. "Don't be so dramatic. The third house is always the pickiest. They'll choose someone."
You raised an eyebrow. "So what you're saying is... we're the leftovers."
Before he could answer, the third set of scouts arrived. A mature woman with sharp eyes scanned both of you.
Her eyes landed on you first.
"Is that one available?"
Tengen, not missing a beat, fake-laughed. "No. She's mine-I mean-she's assisting me directly."
You made a face. "Ugh. Possessive much?"
The woman looked disappointed, then glanced over at Zenitsu. She squinted. Blinked. Tilted her head.
Zenitsu gulped. "Hi...?"
"...We'll take her," the woman finally declared.
Zenitsu froze.
Then burst into tears.
"I KNEW MY TIME WOULD COME-THANK YOU UNIVERSE-THANK YOU-"
As they led him away, he clung to your arm for dear life.
"Y/N PLEASE REMEMBER ME-"
You peeled him off gently. "I will. Now go serve face, Zenko."
He sobbed as he vanished into the distance.
Once they were all gone, it was just you and Tengen again, standing under the streetlights of Yoshiwara. The town buzzed softly around you.
𝗧𝗮𝗶𝘀𝗵𝗼 ׅ꯱ꫀׁׅܻ݊ᝯׁ֒ꭈׁׅꫀׁׅܻ݊tׁׅׅ꯱
Zenitsu screamed for ten straight minutes after being chosen. The scouts thought it was a performance and now think he's method acting.
Y
/N whispered "girlboss" in Tanjiro's ear before he walked off. It gave him strength.
Tengen absolutely heard Y/N say "possessive much?" but pretended he didn't because she wasn't wrong.
Inosuke tried to fight his own reflection on the way to his new room.
Y/N's makeup was so good, one of the ladies asked her for tips. She now has 3 secret admirers in the district.
Uzui pretends he didn't see how many heads tued when Y/N walked by.
Y/N would've infiltrated all three houses at once if Tengen hadn't stopped her
Inosuke thinks "Inoko" is a real person now and sometimes refers to her in third person.
Zenitsu keeps fainting mid-assignment and blames it on "emotional overload.
Tanjiro swears the hand squeeze meant
nothing, but his heart say otherwise
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