50
Butterfly Estate — the courtyard
You were chilling on the engawa, sipping tea like the baddie you were, hair slightly tousled from the morning breeze. Tanjiro was doing chores, Zenitsu was crying over some dumb thing again, and Inosuke was upside down in a tree—don’t ask.
Suddenly—
BAM!
A tall, glittering, boisterous man barged through the courtyard gate like a peacock dipped in diamonds.
“HELLOOOOO, MY FLAMBOYANT LITTLE WARRIORS!”
Tengen Uzui’s voice BOOMED across the estate as he struck a pose, literally sparkling in the sunlight.
You didn’t even flinch.
“Oh god,” you muttered, sipping your tea. “Peacock boy just dropped in from his own fashion show.”
Tanjiro blinked in surprise. “Tengen Uzui… Sound Hashira?!”
Zenitsu screamed. “AHHH!! WHY ARE YOU HERE!? DID WE DO SOMETHING WRONG?! I DON'T WANNA DIE—”
“You’re not dying, you drama lemon,” you sighed.
Uzui strutted toward Aoi and Naho, grabbing them like he was casting for a talent show. “I’m borrowing some kunoichi for a top-secret mission.”
“Oh hell no,” you stood up. “Put Aoi down before I put you down.”
Uzui froze. Slowly, he turned toward you, eyes glittering with intrigue. “Oh? And who are you, beautiful stranger?Aahh you're the one from the trial”
You smirked and crossed your arms. “The one who’s about to rearrange your jawline if you touch my girls again.”
Even Inosuke sat up straighter. “Ooooh, she mad.”
Uzui blinked, then burst into laughter. “You’ve got fire. I like that. I suppose I could take you instead.”
You raised a brow. “Excuse me?”
“That’s right. You, Kamado, Yellow Boy, and Boar-Head. You’re coming with me. I’m infiltrating the Entertainment District. My three wives have gone silent. I need people flashy enough to handle the job.”
“Wives?” Zenitsu screamed again. “YOU HAVE THREE WIVES!?”
You walked over slowly, giving Uzui the kind of look that said, I'm not impressed. “So you’re dragging teenagers into a demon brothel to rescue your wives? Make that make sense.”
Uzui grinned. “You know what? You’re perfect. I want you on the team. You’ve got sass, confidence… and that hair.” He flicked your hair lightly.
You slapped his hand. “Touch it again and I’ll shove your flute where the sun don’t shine.”
Tanjiro turned red. “Y/N! Don’t threaten a Hashira!”
You flipped your hair. “He’s lucky I didn’t bite.”
Uzui just laughed again, clearly loving this. “Yes. You’ll do nicely. I need warriors who aren’t boring. Pack your things. We leave tomorrow.”
You narrowed your eyes. “Fine. But I’m picking my own disguise. And if I have to wear a wig, I’m lighting it on fire.”
Zenitsu collapsed on the floor. “This is my worst nightmare and greatest dream at the same time—”
Inosuke grabbed his swords. “WE’RE GOING TO WAR IN A CITY?! THIS IS AWESOME!”
Tanjiro looked unsure but determined. “If we’re helping people, I’m in.”
You stretched your arms over your head with a sigh. “Well. Time to serve looks and kill demons.”
When you finished packing, Tanjiro finally broke the silence.
“Entertainment District?” he asked, eyes curious but cautious.
You smirked and nudged Zenitsu. “You know, that place! The one with all the lights, noise, and, uh… wild stuff going on. You don’t know what I mean? C’mon, you’re such a scaredy-cat.”
Zenitsu’s face flushed bright red, and he shifted uncomfortably. Before he could sputter a reply, Tengen suddenly cut in, booming loud enough to startle everyone.
“Listen up! I’m a GOD. You’re all trash—except for Y/N, of course. The first thing you need to pound into your heads, drive it in like a nail, is this: I am your master. When I say jump, you say ‘how high?’ When I say turn into dogs, you turn into dogs. Monkeys? Sure, monkeys! Hunch over, rub your hands like you’re cooking something delicious, and pander to my every whim. Suck up with every fiber of your being!”
He finished his rant with that absurdly dramatic pose—the one that made you want to burst out laughing.
’This guy’s crazy...’ Zenitsu thought, wide-eyed.
’It’s even funnier in real life,’ you thought, biting your lip to keep from laughing.
’Yes, I agree,’ Yoriichi chimed in calmly, earning a quick glare from you
'Where exactly were you last night?'
'With Kokushibo '
'Mhm alright'
“What exactly are you the god of, specifically?” Tanjiro asked, cutting through the chaos with his usual earnestness.
Zenitsu shot Tanjiro a look like he’d just questioned whether the sun rises in the east. ’I don’t believe this guy!’ his eyes screamed.
Tengen’s grin widened, practically glowing. “Good question! You have potential, Kamado. I’m the God of Flashiness.”
You snorted under your breath, glancing sideways at Tanjiro. “Yeah, flashiness is right. The man’s basically a walking disco ball with daddy issues.”
Zenitsu groaned dramatically. “Why does this always happen to us?”
You just shrugged and smirked, secretly enjoying the chaos. This was gonna be one wild mission.
Inosuke, who had been suspiciously quiet for longer than thirty seconds, suddenly stood up with dramatic confidence and yelled:
“I’M THE GOD OF THE MOUNTAIN!! NICE TO MEET YOU, GOD OF FESTIVALS!!”
He raised his fists like he had just declared war.
Tengen blinked slowly and then sighed, rubbing his temples like this was physically painful.
“…What are you talking about? You sure are creepy.”
He side-eyed Inosuke like he’d just licked a wall.
Zenitsu looked between the two of them, frozen in existential crisis.
‘No… You two are a match made in cringe hell. A perfect blend of chaos. I—I can’t watch this. I physically can’t.’
He nearly wept from secondhand embarrassment.
“HUH? WHAT DID YOU SAY, ?!” Inosuke snapped.
“BACK OFF, INOSUKE!!” Tanjiro screeched,
“LET ME GO, KONPOCHIRO!!” Inosuke hollered, grabbing onto Tanjiro’s haori and flailing like a wild raccoon.
Tanjiro just stood there blinking like someone who had already emotionally detached.
Tengen tilted his head and muttered again, “Yeah. Creepy.”
Meanwhile, you were off to the side, dying from laughter. You were hunched over, clutching your sides, absolutely wheezing as Yoriichi internally added his two cents:
‘Why are they like this?’
You wiped a tear from your eye and whispered back to him, “Peak comedy, that's why.”
But just as the chaos was reaching its climax, Tengen suddenly threw his arm out and shouted, “Alright! No time to fool around! Let’s go! Follow me!”
The energy shifted instantly.
Your posture snapped upright. Muscles tensed. Smile gone. You were ready.
“Entertainment District Arc, here I come,” you muttered, adjusting your gear dramatically like a K-drama heroine about to walk into battle.
Tanjiro followed, focused. Zenitsu dragged his feet dramatically. Inosuke barked. You? You were already ten steps ahead following tengen
you blinked once… then took a running leap and jumped right onto his back like it was the most natural thing in the world.
“WHA—HEY!!” he stumbled forward slightly but caught himself with smooth reflexes.
“Carry me, sparkle daddy~ I deserve it,” you said with a smug smirk, arms wrapped loosely around his shoulders like you owned the place. “These legs are for looking good, not running.”
Tengen looked like he just short-circuited.
“Do you know who I am?! I’m the god of—!”
“Yeah, yeah, god of flashiness, festivals, dramatic poses and three wives. I’m the goddess of being pretty, lazy, and smarter than everyone else in this group,” you said, flipping your hair as if this was an Oscar speech.
Behind you:
Zenitsu: “WHY DOES SHE GET TO RIDE HIM LIKE A HORSE?!”
Inosuke: “WAIT!! WAIT I WANNA DO THAT TOO!! PIGGYBACK WAR!!”
Tanjiro: “Uhh… should we be doing this right now…?”
Tengen blinked a few times and then just… sighed, letting it happen.
“I’ve never met someone more insufferably bold,” he muttered, adjusting his grip on you so you wouldn’t fall. “…But you’re light, so I’ll allow it. One time.”
“Uh-huh. You love me,” you said smugly in his ear.
Zenitsu literally screamed into the wind.
You waved at them like royalty from your throne on Tengen’s back as he sprinted toward the Entertainment District with sparkles in the air, three simps and one cinnamon bun trailing behind.
-
When you all arrived, it was already dark.
Now you—the smartass, the flashy mf, the boar head, the cry baby, and sweet baby Tanjiro—were all cramped into a small carriage, rattling down a narrow street.
Tengen turned toward you all dramatically, arms crossed. “Act normal. Don’t attract attention. Remember—we’re only here to case the joint. And whatever you do, don’t leave this carriage.”
Which, obviously, meant someone was going to leave.
“OOOOH PRETTY LADIES!” Zenitsu suddenly screamed and immediately launched himself out of the carriage like a possessed noodle.
“WAIT FOR ME, SPARKLY WOMEN!!” Inosuke followed—head first, of course—snorting as he rolled into the street like an out-of-control watermelon.
“HEY! Don’t do it, Zenitsu! Wait! Inosuke!!” Tanjiro panicked, fumbling after them and tumbling out as well.
You blinked. “Welp.” Then casually hopped out too.
Because you were NOT about to miss seeing the infamous Yoshiwara nightlife. Plus... fashion.
Tengen facepalmed so hard it echoed. “These kids are actual goblins.”
Soon enough, he stormed after all of you and found you, Zenitsu, and Tanjiro gawking around like tourists. Inosuke was already scaling a second-floor balcony yelling about “sniffing out demons.”
“This,” Tengen announced with a dramatic wave, “is the Yoshiwara Entertainment District. Awash in vanity and desire, love and hate. A town of the night. Flashy, huh?”
You stared wide-eyed at the glowing lanterns, beautiful courtesans, and colorful shopfronts.
“𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘰 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘺… 𝘯𝘰 𝘸𝘰𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘈𝘥𝘶𝘭𝘵 𝘛𝘰𝘬𝘺𝘰 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘱𝘪𝘳𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘺 𝘪𝘵,” you whispered.
Yoriichi in your head agreed, ‘𝘐𝘵’𝘴 𝘣𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯 𝘐 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘦𝘥…’
You nudged Tengen. “Okay, Flash God. Let’s say we don’t sneak around like it’s our first undercover mission?”
“Don’t flatter yourself,” he said, brushing his hair back. “But you? You might be the only one who doesn’t embarrass me out here.”
Zenitsu shrieked. “𝘞𝘏𝘈𝘛?! 𝘞𝘏𝘠 𝘋𝘖𝘌𝘚 𝘚𝘏𝘌 𝘎𝘌𝘛 𝘗𝘙𝘈𝘐𝘚𝘌?!”
Inosuke was screaming at a passing lantern.
Tanjiro was bowing to someone’s cat.
And you?
You casually jumped on Tengen’s back like it was normal. “You do the running. I’ll look pretty.”
Tengen just sighed and kept walking, somehow not even stumbling under your weight.
The group was halfway down the lantern-lit street when a random guy—dressed way too flashy for someone who wasn’t Tengen—slid right up to you with a grin so greasy it could fry tempura.
“Well, well,” he said, eyeing you up and down. “A beauty like you doesn’t belong out here with these... clowns.” He flicked a dismissive hand toward the boys. “How about you ditch them and come have a real good time with me?”
You slowly blinked, then leaned back a little on Tengen’s shoulder. “I’m sorry, are you talking to me or hallucinating out loud?”
The guy blinked. “Huh?”
“Because no way on this flashy earth do you think I’d leave my crew for someone who smells like discount cologne and broken dreams.”
Zenitsu was frozen, jaw dropped.
Inosuke growled, “WHO’S THIS GUY?! CAN I FIGHT HIM?!”
Tanjiro sighed, “Y/N, maybe don’t escalate—”
“I haven’t even started yet,” you said sweetly. You turned back to the guy. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m busy being iconic.”
Tengen chuckled. “Brutal. I like it.”
The guy slinked away, muttering, while Zenitsu started dramatically cheering for you like you’d just won a national battle tournament.
“THAT’S OUR Y/N!! "
Once you all entered the Wisteria Room, the lanterns casting a soft glow across the tatami mats, Tengen stood at the center of the room, arms crossed dramatically.
“Now listen up,” he said, voice firm. “When you’ve infiltrated the Entertainment District, the first priority is finding my bride. I’ll be gathering intel on the demons separately.”
Zenitsu froze mid-sip of his tea, eyes wide. Tanjiro calmly kept sipping his own, while Inosuke had already stolen half the food and was chomping like a wild animal. You just shrugged and leaned back on your hands.
“Alright,” you said, “sounds easy.”
“THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS!!” Zenitsu suddenly exploded, slamming his hands on the table like it personally betrayed him.
“Huh?” Tengen blinked, confused.
“I’ll thank you not to MESS with us! How DARE you use your subordinates to find a BRIDE for yourself?!”
“HUH?! How did you even get that idea?!” Tengen fired back.
“Nope! I’m going to have my SAY!” Zenitsu yelled again, dramatically waving a fist.
“Zenitsu, please—” Tanjiro tried to calm him, grabbing his haori sleeve like a panicked babysitter.
While they were all bickering, you turned to Inosuke and started stealing from his plate.
“These dumplings hit hard,” you muttered with your mouth full.
Inosuke just growled and shoved three more in his mouth to compete.
Meanwhile, Tengen sighed and dropped a stack of letters on the table. “These are the letters sent via the Kasugai crows.”
“There’s quite a lot of them…” Tanjiro said thoughtfully. “Has she been undercover for long?”
“Well, I do have three of them. Wives, I mean,” Tengen said casually.
You blinked. “Yeah, I wish they were mine.”
“HUH?! WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?!” Tengen shouted, spinning to face you, scandalized.
“Three wives,” Zenitsu echoed, trembling. “How do you have three of them?!”
Before he could start screaming again, Tengen lightly smacked him on the head with a fan.
“Focus!” he barked. “The mission is more important than your whining.”
Tanjiro leaned forward. “So what exactly are we going to do?”
“Well of course—disguise yourselves,” Tengen said, looking pained. “As much as I hate to say it… in a drab way. All three of my wives are brilliant kunoichi. I suspected the district would be perfect ground for demons to hide, and now my wives aren’t responding. So…”
He pointed at the three boys dramatically. “You three will go undercover, blend in, and gather information. Suma is stationed at the Tokito House, Makio at the Ogimoto House, and Hinatsuru at the Kyogoku House.”
“Ooooh,” you grinned. “So I get to meet them too?”
You hit the freaky Sonic emote without warning.
“STOP THAT!!” Tengen snapped, clearly overwhelmed.
Inosuke was headbutting a wall for no reason, Zenitsu was still steaming, and Tanjiro just sipped his tea again, eyes quietly pleading for peace.
“Tomorrow,” Tengen continued, massaging his temples, “you’re all getting makeovers.”
“Can I do my own makeover?” you asked sweetly.
“No,” he growled.
“Too late, I’m already thinking about being the baddest b*tch in that district.”
Zenitsu groaned into the floorboards. Inosuke roared in agreement. Tengen wondered how many brain cells he’d lose by the end
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