𝙸𝚝 𝙰𝚕𝚕 𝙴𝚗𝚍𝚜 𝙷𝚎𝚛𝚎 (𝔾𝕚𝕪𝕦𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕠) {𝓚𝓝Ⴘ}
𝓒𝓱𝓪𝓹𝓽𝓮𝓻 20: 𝓛𝓲𝓰𝓱𝓽, 𝓒𝓪𝓶𝓮𝓻𝓪, 𝓒𝓾𝓽
Giyu POV:
Days after the Kazukis rolled in, my house was still in perfect order. How had I done it? I'd decided to try and live my life normally, if not happily, for a week or so. I wanted to test it out. What did it feel like? What was it like to live as I had until I lost everyone?
Or maybe my renewed house was just working it's positive vibes on me. The world seemed somewhat brighter, fresher.
But it was also something else. Something new, replacing my old mindset. Yesterday I'd found Tsutako's old diary in a tattered satchet. It was crinkled and stained, the paper so delicate it felt as if it would rip under my fingers, but I read it.
Dear diary,
Today was a wonderful day. I have been preparing for Giyu's birthday celebration! It's only a week away!
He keeps insisting he doesn't want anything for his birthday, but I will be getting him something truly special! I have knitted a beautiful green scarf for him. I'm sure he will love it! Giyu is so humble, he doesn't even want a party.
It rather confuses me sometimes. He's so young, and should be naive. Instead, sometimes he acts so mature and too polite. I do miss the way he used to be so playful and childish. It's like he's got the whole world on his shoulders. I wish I could rid of that stress for him.
A week after today, he will blow out the birthday candles on his cake and he will make a wish, and I'll make one alongside him.
I'll wish that he grows up to be a happy person with a beautiful life that I'll be proud of.
The party will be a great success. I can feel it in my veins!
~Tsutako
I silently thanked Tsutako for her comforting words, and knew this was the life she wanted me to have.
And now I knew that she really did believe that I could lead a normal life, from her own words, words she'd written down.
I believed them, as I should have long ago.
Today Shinobu came and visited me. That was a change of pace.
Shinobu POV:
I'd made it though the party without any slip-ups or breakdowns.
But then I'd gone home and cried my eyes out, locked in my office, hiding in the closest, so my tears could be muffled.
It had been so, so awkward. I had forgotten what it was like to interact without Shigeru by my side. He was always cracking jokes, making comments, bringing up topics of conversation. Now I didn't know what to say on my own.
My life was so empty without him. I spent my time on misisons and medical work. There was no more dates to go on, places to visit, holidays or anything. Shigeru always had some new cafe to try out, or a resturant, but now I seemed to have visited everywhere. When I tried going out shopping or taking walks, it quickly became boring and silent. No-one to be with.
Of course Mitsuri was always there for me, and she tried her best to arrange dates with me whenever she could, but she had lots of friends and was often busy.
Kanao had less and less time for sister-bonding with me too. She was seeing Tanjiro more often and seemed to have a change in personality. Her life was completely on track, and she was even close to getting promoted. Yet I...
Today I had visited Giyu in the morning to check on him. I was feeling depressed, lonely, and that led to me feeling more irritated to. If only Kanae was still here! She would have been there for me, taken me to places, helped me recover, helped me see that Shigeru was toxic. But no. Of course they had to take away the one person who could fix everything.
I'd went inside his house without being invited, and inspected the place. It looked like a completely different house. Giyu also seemed to be looking more fresh, and even happy. All his tattered clothes were fixed, mended, and clean. His hair was brushed for once and his eyes seemed to look brighter.
It all made me so, so angry.
How dare he live his perfect life while I suffered?
I'd thrown the basket of strawberries Aoi had washed for him onto the floor and slammed the door shut behind me as I left. His shell-shocked face was exactly what I had expected, but as I stormed off I looked back and he wasn't running after me, so that was that.
I'd come home and ranted about it furiously to Aoi.
"It's so ridiculous! The last time I saw him, he was very much depressed and probably on the verge of commiting suicide! But the Kazukis work their magic and suddenly he's this normal, happy, perfect person! Wow, should I get the Kazukis to come and wave their magic wand at me, too?!" I growled sarcastically. Aoi smiled half-heartedly and tried her best to be patient with me, but I could tell she was getting irritated.
"Shinobu-sama, I will sound terrible for saying this to you- but shouldn't you be happy for him?" Aoi sighed. "He's finally recovering from his loss. I can only hope one day you will, too."
"What are you implying, Aoi?" I said.
"That he's over what happened. He's over his sister, and anyone else he lost- maybe you should get over it, too. Oh, this sounds harsh, but what's happened, happened. You can't change anything by being sad now. I know Kanae would want you to be happy- really, truly happy. Not like you are now." Aoi smiled sadly. "Your smile isn't real, Shinobu-sama."
"How can it ever be? Giyu took everything away from me. Kanae. And now even Shigeru gone and left me. How can I ever be happy? Besides, Giyu can't have just recovered like that so easily."
"Maybe his change of enviroment gave him a change of heart," Aoi shrugged. "But I can't say any more than that to you, Shinobu-sama. I wouldn't."
Fustrated with Aoi for not being on my side, I went to Mitsuri instead.
After I'd ranted to Mitsuri about the whole situation again, in her house sitting on her couch with a cup of tea, she sighed.
"Shinobu, I think maybe Aoi's right." Mitsuri said. "It really is time you moved on. It's been so long, and it's time you started living your life. I, for one, am happy that Giyu has finally managed to move on, and you should too."
"Mitsuriii," I groaned. "Don't tell me you're on his side too. Don't you understand? He did this all to me. He took Kanae away from me! Well, him and Douma. How can I let him live the ultimate life while I suffer?"
"But you don't have to suffer," Mitsuri coaxed, "You can properly live too. If only you would let yourself! Shinobu, you're too hard on everyone, including yourself."
She didn't get it either.
"So, what do you think?" I finally finished explaining everything again angrily to Kanao.
"Well, if I may be honest, Master-"
"Sister."
"Sister." Kanao blushed. "I think maybe you shouldn't get so angry at Tomioka-san. He seems to be doing well and you wouldn't want him to return to his old state, would you? He might be hurt by your sudden behaviour."
"Pfft. He doesn't care a fig about what I think." I rolled my eyes.
"But Shinobu-sama, I think maybe there's something else that helped him recover. Maybe you should ask him about it. Maybe the same strategy will work for you." Kanao sighed. "You've been hiding in the dark for too long, Shinobu-sama. You work so hard for everyone to be healthy and happy, but you don't have a healthy mindset yourself."
"But don't you get where I'm coming from?" I frowned. "It's just so annoying. In a few days, suddenly over twenty years of trauma turns into dust. Why can't it be like that for me? How is it so easy?"
"It's not easy," Kanao said. "But it's possible."
I didn't say much after that. There was nothing to be said.
It started to sink into me that maybe they were right. After all, they were my very most trusted friends and sisters.
But I still couldn't get rid of that little twinge of irritation.
A/N: This book will be concluding soon! Hope you're all excited for the big ending!
Thanks for all your support. Another heads-up that I won't be writing just kny books anymore, so I can expand my audience. <33
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