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A/N: 07.05.19

Here's an early update xx

-K

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I inserted the key into the door and opened it, wiping away the last of my tears with my sleeve and fanning my face. But as soon as I stepped in, my parents came storming out of the living room with eyes flaring with anger. I was so busy thinking and worrying about Killian that I had completely forgotten that it was my past my curfew.

"CARTER JONES, WHERE IN THE WORLD HAVE YOU BEEN?!" yelled Mom, her face turning bright red as a veins bulged out of her forehead. I flinched as she raised her voice, eyes falling to the floor. "Do you know how worried we were? Why didn't you answer our calls or texts? What were you doing this late at-" she paused, taking a closer step towards me and sniffing the air. I looked up and noticed that her nose started to wrinkle, the shock slowly registering to her face and making me stiffen.

"Did you drink?" She asked weakly. She roughly grabbed my chin and looked into my eyes that had a hard time focusing on hers and her lips parted. "Are... Are you drunk?!"

I didn't answer, pulling away from her grasp as she let out a loud cry, putting the back of her hand against her forehead as she leaned against dad as if she were about to faint.

"Goodness gracious," she gasped weakly. "What's gotten into you?"

"Carter, you have a lot of explaining to do!" Yelled Dad, holding onto Mom who looked as pale as a ghost. "Do you think that this kind of behavior is acceptable in this household?! Did all our efforts to raise you to be a good child mean nothing?! Carter, do you even know how grateful you should be towards us?!" His voice started to rise and he shook with anger.

I would have normally stood there and taken everything in obediently, apologising for something that I didn't feel sorry for just to please my parents. But I was fed up. I was sick and tired of it, and even if Killian was the last person I wanted to think about right now, the words that he said to me at his house left a strong impact on me.

"It's your life."

And since today seemed to be the day where I made the most bold but regretful decisions, for the very first time in my life, I talked back to my parents.

"I am grateful," I argued, trying not to slur my words. "I... I'm thankful for everything you two do for me, it's just that sometimes, it's too much for me to handle. I'm always studying and my entire life revolves around nothing but studying. The only friends that I have are Alix and Eshe because I'm so cut-off from the rest of the world!" I said in a shaky voice, swallowing the lump in my voice. "I just want to be a normal teenager and have some fun, just a little-"

A felt a hand slap hard against my cheek, my eyes widening as my face was now turned to the side from the impact. I stood there, bangs drooping over my forehead as I tried to process what just happened.

What shocked me the most wasn't the fact that I was slapped, but that it was Mom who hit me this time. After blinking a few times, I slowly turned my gaze towards hers, flinching as I saw the pained look in her glassy eyes glazed with a thick layers of tears.

"Mom," I whisered in a faint voice, feeling my chest tighten.

Her lips started to quiver as she slowly retrieved her hand, regret filling her gaze before she looked away. Anger? Disappointment? Disgust?

"How dare you say such ignorant things," she spat coldly. "Apologise this instant!"

I furrowed my brows. "For what?" I asked in confusion. I didn't say anything disrespectful, nor did I insult my parents, so why was she asking me to apologize? For speaking my mind?

"I don't know, just do it!" She yelled in a piercing tone that made me flinch.

My lips parted to say something, in hopes to understand what exactly I needed to be sorry for, hoping that I'd be able to understand my parents by asking them, but before I could say anything, Dad stepped in.

"Apologise right now!" He barked.

I frowned at the aggressive tone. "But-"

He raised his hand and I squeezed my eyes shut and taking a step back, scared that he'd hit me.

"APOLOGISE!" he boomed.

I swallowed thickly. "I-I-I'm sorry," I stuttered dryly, the words grating out of my throat like sand paper.

"Say it loud and clear!" He ordered. "Look at us in the eyes when you talk, have we taught you nothing when you were a kid?!"

I forced myself to open my eyes, looking into my parents' scornful gaze.

"I'm sorry," my voice reduced nothing to a whisper. My parents continued to scold me, but at some point, my brain just turned off and I simply stood there like a mannequin, waiting for everything to end.

I guess I was a fool to think that I could claim my life as mine.

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My phone was confiscated and I wasn't allowed to leave the house unless it was for school or to buy groceries, which didn't make much of a difference to my previous lifestyle to be completely honest. It was Monday and I was at school, Eshe saw me walk down the school hall and waved at me with a smile.
I quickly fixed my face and put on a smile, waving back.

"Carty!" She beamed, joining me at my lockers. But she studied my face with a frown. "You look kind of pale, are you okay?"

I let out a sheepish chuckle, deciding that it was best if I didn't tell her about Saturday's party and how hungover I was yesterday, constantly darting to the bathroom to empty my aching stomach in the basin until there was nothing left to expel.

"I had a hard time sleeping, that's all," I said, feeling nauseous just by thinking of it. But as usual, Eshe could tell that I was lying and crossed her over her chest.

"What did Killian do this time?" She sighed, narrowing her eyes. I didn't answer, tightly squeezing my hands around the straps of my bag. "I told you that he was a bad influence Carter! Why won't you listen to me and-"

She stopped, her lips slightly parting.

"Carty?" She said, putting her hands on my shoulders as tears started to fill my eyes. But I couldn't take it anymore, I couldn't take being scolded again.

"C-C-Can we not do this right now?" I stammered in an uneven voice. "Please?"

And that's when I bursted into tears, not even caring if everyone in the hall turned towards us. Eshe took my hand and pulled me to a place where there weren't many people, quickly wrapping her arms around me as I sobbed against her shoulder, all my emotions just bursting out in seconds.

"Don't cry," pleaded Eshe, gently patting my back as I gasped for air, clutching onto her shirt as I couldn't control myself. "It's going to be okay Carter, please don't cry."

But she let me release me cry to my heart's content, and once I finally calmed down, she gently wiped my tears away. It reminded me of how Killian did the same when I cried at his house. Her hand wasn't as big or warm which for some reason, made me feel slightly disappointed.

"Now stop crying, you're going to ruin your nice face."

Killian's voice echoed in my mind, soothing my soul and relieving some of the weight off my chest. I took in a shaky breath and nodded at his words.

"Are you okay?" Asked Eshe, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"I'm going to cut all ties with Killian after our last week of detention," I blurted. "So until then, c-c-can-" I cleared my quivering voice. "Can you please not tell me how toxic he is? I know Eshe, I know that he's not good for me and that I'll get hurt just by being around him because he's a bad influence, but... Just for the next five days, can you please be accepting and turn a blind eye?"

Eshe pursed her lips but decided not to ask any questions and nodded.

"Alright Carter, I trust you," she murmured. "But promise me that you'll keep your word."

I gave her a small nod, almost hesitant at first. "I promise," I whispered.

The bell rang and she handed me a tissue to wipe my face before heading to class. We all sat down as the teacher handed out our Science test. But Killian opened the doo and quickly greeted the teacher, ignoring the shocked stares as he sat down, taking out his pencil case.

Was it me or was he sitting closer to the front?

He would usually sit at the very back, but it looked like he sat a few seats closer to the front, not too far from where I was. Our gazes locked but before I turned around, Killian gave me a dashing smile and a wink so quick that it was hardly noticeable.

My eyes were now on my desk and I squeezed my hands on my lap as my cheeks flushed hot.

The idea of having fallen for him was still weird to me. Just a week ago I couldn't care less if he came to school or not. But seeing him now, smiling and sitting a few seats away, it made my mind go crazy and my stomach feel heavy.

I mentally shook my head, raking a hand through my hair before writing down my name and class on my Science test, pushing away my thoughts.

But it didn't matter anymore. In less than five days, he and I would return to being strangers. I promised Eshe-

No, I promised myself that we would.

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A/N: Your favorite character in this book?