Chapter Three
Lux Castellano
I traced out her name that was printed on the magazine and smiled. I couldn't belive how fast I had her wrapped around my finger. She was a dumb sheep ready to be slitted. The poor girl would have to pay for what her bastard father did to us. It wasn't fair I know but who said life's fair? Because it sure as hell wasn't.
I was seventeen when I lost my parents, Riel was just ten then. We were left with nothing. Bata pa lang ako natuto na akong kumayod para sa amin ng kapatid ko. From having everything, our life had spiraled to nothing at a snap of a finger.
Tumunog ang phone ko. I picked it up to see Lux's number on the screen. She was making everything easy for me.
"Hello?" I heard her voice when I picked up the phone.
"Hi, Lux." Sagot ko.
"Um, Rigor, gusto ko lang itanong kung napag-isipan mo na ang offer ni Dad. Ilang araw ka na kasi hindi nagpaparamdam." Sabi niya sa kabilang linya.
"Sorry, I was busy..."
"Naistorbo ba kita?" I could hear the embarrassment in her voice.
"No, it's fine. Even if I were busy right now, I'd drop everything for you." I said. I knew what button to push for women like Lux.
"Rigor, gusto mo bang pumunta dito sa bahay? Let's have lunch." Even though I couldn't see it, I knew she was smiling.
"Lunch? Diyan sa inyo?" A smirk appeared on my lips.
"I would love to invite you out kaso hindi ako pwedeng lumabas. Inaayos pa ni Dad ang kaso sa mga nagtangkang kumidnap sa akin. They said it would be safer if I just stay home."
"I see."
"Pwede ka ba?" Tanong niya ulit.
"Of course, I can't say no to you."
"Talaga? Sige, I'll see you later?"
"See you later." I said.
Ibinaba niya ang telepono at napasandal ako sa kinauupuan ko. A wide smile spread across my lips. I wanted to have fun before I devour my preys. Even lions play with their food before they kill it.
Plotting my revenge for the Castellanos had been my obsession since my parents died. They deserve to suffer the worst pain there is. Worse than the pain my parents, my brother and I had to go through.
I got up and went out of my room to find Riel in his uniform. Graduating na ang kapatid ko. He was taking up criminology and was planning to be a cop once he graduates. Bata pa si Riel ng mamatay ang mga magulang namin but he was old enough to understand what had happened. Alam kong nakaapekto din sa kanya ang hindi makatarungang pagkamatay nila. But it had affected him in a different way. He wanted to fight injustice and protect those who could not protect themselves, I wanted revenge. I wanted to kill those who had wronged us, kill them bit by bit.
"Kuya, aalis ka?" Tanong niya habang nagsusuklay sa harap ng salamin.
"Bakit?" I asked.
"Penge naman baon." Sabi nito.
"Kabibigay ko lang sa'yo ng baon mo."
"May project pa kami eh." Sabi niya.
I sighed, reaching into my pocket to get some cash. I gave him a hundred peso bill.
"Yan na muna mabibigay ko sa'yo. Soon, we'll be rich again." I said.
"Bakit? Wag mong sabihin tumama ka sa lotto?" Riel's eyes widened.
I rolled my eyes and shook my head. "Even better. I'm going to work for the Castellanos. Babawiin ko sa mga Castellano ang ninakaw nila sa pamilya natin."
Nag-iba ang timpla ng mukha ni Riel. "Kuya, ano na naman ba yang pinaplano mo? Baka mapahamak ka sa ginagawa mo."
"Just trust me, okay?" I patted him on the back.
Seryosong tinitigan ako ni Riel. "Ikaw lang ang meron ako, kuya. Please lang huwag mong ipapahamak ang sarili mo."
"I won't. Trust me on this, little bro. Umaayon sa atin ang kapalaran." I said with a smug smile.
"Ano bang plano mong gawin sa kanila?" Worry was still in his eyes but so was curiosity.
"The idiot Patricio wants to hire me as their bodyguard. Kapag nakakuha ako ng sapat ng impormasyon tungkol sa nangyari kina mommy at daddy, mailalabas ko na lahat ng baho niya at mababalik sa atin ang lahat ng ninakaw niya."
Riel's face contorted into a deeper frown. "Kuya, sigurado ka ba sa mga ginagawa mo? Paano kapag nahuli ka nila?"
"Paano pag hindi?" I grinned. "Ilang taon kong pinag-aralan kung paano makakapasok sa buhay nila. Ngayon ang oportunidad na ang lumalapit sa akin. It'll take any risk to get my revenge, even if it cost my life."
"Paano na ako?" The sadness in his voice almost broke my heart. I paused as I felt something squeezing into my heart. I took in a deep breath, trying to recollect myself.
"Riel, malaki ka na. Kaya mo na ang sarili mo." I looked him straight in the eyes. "You're old enough. Mas bata pa ako nang mawala sina mommy at daddy pero kinaya ko, hindi ba?"
"Magkaiba tayo. You're stronger than I am." He said.
Sunod-sunod akong napailing. "I'm strong because I need to be strong. Magiging malakas ka din kapag dumating ang panahaon na kailangan mo na maging malakas."
I turned away from him, not wanting to see the sadness in his eyes. I got into my car and drove to our old mansion. The moment I stepped out of my car, Lux was already waiting for me in front of the door with anticipation in her eyes.
Lumapit ako sa kanya.
"Hi." Mahinang sabi niya.
"Thanks for inviting me for lunch." I said.
"Halika, pasok tayo. Doon tayo sa may veranda." Aya niya sa akin.
Sumunod ako papasok sa kanya. She took me to the veranda. This used to be my mother's favorite place because it had a wonderful view of the garden. Mom, Dad, Riel and I used to have our breakfast here with the fresh morning air brushing against us. Halos wala din nagbago sa lugar na iyon.
I closed my eyes and took in a deep breath. It was as if it had brought me back to the time where everything was alright. I could almost hear my mother laughing at a stupid joke I made, Riel wanting his toy back and dad telling him he had to finish his breakfast first... It stuck to me, something as mundane as that.
"Okay ka lang?" I felt Lux's warm hand on my shoulder.
I opened my eyes and the first thing I saw was her face. Ang amo ng mukha niya, she had a face of a saint. She had that softness in her face that makes you want to wrap your arms around her and protect her.
"Nagbake ako ng madeleine cookies. Sana magustuhan mo."
"You bake?" I asked. My mother used to bake too. I used to come home from school and see madeleines on the table, ready for us to eat.
"I love baking." She smiled. "Let's sit."
I pulled a chair for her, she sat down and thanked me. I sat on the chair across from her. The madeleines looked delicious. There were also club house sandwiches and a pitcher of juice on the table.
"You made all these?" I asked.
She nodded her head and then shrugged. "Well, there's not much to do in here."
"Where's your father?"
"He's in the office. Mamayang gabi pa ang uwi niya." Sabi niya. "Try the clubhouse sandwich I made. I hope you like it."
I took a sandwich and took a bite from it. It tasted amazing. It brought me back to my childhood, sitting in the veranda and my mother's sandwich.
"Did you make this yourself?" I asked after swallowing.
She nodded her head and smiled gingerly. "Nagustuhan mo?"
Lux, why did she have to remind me of my mother? She was so caring and she made me feel warm, safe, and contained. It was a feeling I'd never felt in a long time. I'd always been guarded and for some reason I felt like I didn't have to be when I was with her.
"Yeah, it's taste amazing." I smiled.
"Buti naman nagustuhan mo. Alam mo noong bata ako, I used to have tea parties with my dolls. I make real sandwiches and juice and pretend they were eating them." Humagikgik siya. There was something about her laugh that just drew me in and I found myself smiling at her.
"Ibig sabihin, ako ang manika mo ngayon? Kaya ba inimbitahan mo akong maglunch?"
"Hindi naman." Agad na depensa niya. "I guess, I'm just getting a bit lonely being stuck here in the house all day. Napanood ko na lahat ng episode ng paborito kong tv show. Nagawa ko na lahat ng pwedeng gawin."
"Don't you have any friends you can hang out with?" My brow shot up.
"They're all busy." She shrugged.
"So you just invited me here to entertain you." I said with a teasing grin.
Her face shifted into a worried one. "No, no... it's not that." She bit her bottom lip. "I just... I guess I just want to be with you. You make me feel safe."
The smile on my face disappeared. Hindi niya alam na ako ang magpapahamak sa kanya. She hadn't realize it yet but she will, soon... One day, I'd take control and she'd be helpless and at my mercy.
"What if I'm not the person you think I am?" I said, looking straight into her eyes.
She gave me a warm smile. "Kahit ano pang tingin mo sa sarili mo, alam kong mabuting tao ka. I can see it in your eyes, Rigor, you have a lot of pent up emotions. You don't think kindly of yourself. When i first met you, I felt a contradiction in you. You're seeking something but at the same time you're running from all you're worth. I can see the internal battle raging in your mind."
My eyes lowered, avoiding her gaze. Her looking at me like that and saying all those things to me made me feel like she'd read into my soul. It was as if she could see through my spirit everything that I was hiding and surpressing. And it scared me.
"What are you talking about?" I let out a tensed chuckle.
"I know you think the world isn't a beautiful place. You've been badly hurt... is it a girl?" She asked.
I shook my head. It was her father. Patricio had not only hurt me but my whole family. I'd become jaded and broken. I'd live a life of pain and anger, and it was no life at all.
Gumapang ang kamay niya at ipinatong sa kamay ko.
"I know you've been hurt. I know you're still hurting, I can feel it. You can tell me anything."
I slowly pulled my hand away from her and smiled. My walls were up again. "Salamat pero mali ka ng iniisip. I wasn't hurt by anyone or anything like. You have a really good imagination, I must say."
Her expression shifted into something else and then she suddenly laughed. "I'm sorry. What was I saying? Siguro dala lang ito ng boredom sa pagkakakulong ko dito sa loob ng bahay."
"What was your childhood like, Lux?" I asked.
"My childhood? It was wonderful. We weren't as we are now. Nakatira lang kami sa isang simpleng bahay. Masaya kami noon. We're still happy now but I just want to go back to that simple life we used to have."
"So you weren't rich before? Your father must've worked hard to be where he is now, huh?" I was fishing for informations about Patricio.
"Ikaw naman ang magkwento." Sumalong-baba siya. It seemed like she didn't want to talk about it, it was as if she was hiding something. Maybe she knew something... She knew her father was a fucking murderer. "How was your childhood?"
"It was like any other childhood. Innocent, fun, carefree." I shrugged.
"I wish people could stay like that, don't you?" She sighed and smiled.
My lips lifted into a sneer. Her father was one of the many reasons why people couldn't stay like that. "That's not possible. People are all fucked up. They destroy each other and if they don't, they'll destroy themselves."
"You're so cynical. I believe there's good in everyone, even the ones that don't seem like they have it. I don't think anyone intentionally wants to hurt other people. Siguro nakakagawa lang sila ng mga maling bagay dahil iyon ang tingin nilang tama para sa sarili nila. You look at things in black and white, Rigor. Good and bad, right and wrong, night and day... you have no in between. Try to look at life as it is, with all its goods and bads." She gave me a knowing smile.
She was looking at me like she knew who I really was. Na para bang may mga bagay siyang alam tungkol sa akin na kahit ako hindi ko alam tungkol sa sarili ko.
I reached for the glass of lemon juice in front of me and had to take a gulp. My throat felt as dry as the desert.
"Madali para sa isang katulad mo ang magsalita ng ganyan. You're living in a castle with your guards protecting you from the real world. It's easy for you to see life through rose tinted glasses."
"Rigor." She sighed. Her enchanting eyes softened, glimmering with sorrow as she looked at me. "I just wish you'd learn to let go... lalo ka lang masasaktan habang hinihigpitan mo ang kapit sa mga bagay na dapat binibitawan na."
I swallowed. Why does it feel like she knows me so well? Bakit pakiramdam ko alam niya ang tumatakbo sa isip ko at ang nararamdaman ko?
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