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Many people seem to think it foolish, even superstitious,
to believe that the world could still change for the better.
And it is true that in winter it is sometimes so bitingly cold that one is tempted to say,
'What do I care if there is a summer; its warmth is no help to me now.'
Yes, evil often seems to surpass good. But then, in spite of us, and without our permission,
there comes at last an end to the bitter frosts. One morning the wind turns, and there is a thaw.
And so I must still have hope.

— Vincent Van Gogh

≡ ≡ ≡

"did you know whale sharks are filter feeders?" asks yoongi. "although they're sharks, they don't hunt prey like most other sharks do. they just passively scoop up everything in their path when feeding, but their favourite food is plankton. they're docile and probably like, one of the least dangerous fish in the world. unless they accidentally crush you somehow since they can weigh up to twenty-five thousand pounds."

jeongguk can't keep the stupid grin off of his face, although at this point he's not exactly trying. they've been sitting next to the pacific ocean exhibit of the aquarium for nearly half an hour, the massive tank containing thousands of tons of water and a wide variety of sea creatures giving them just a glimpse into what life is like in the ocean. the blue light of the water reflects back on yoongi's face as he peers through the glass at the fish inside, but jeongguk stopped watching the animals long ago. there's something much more interesting right beside him.

"it's also thought that they can have a lifespan up to one hundred or a hundred and fifty years, but i don't know if that's actually true," yoongi adds. he has his legs crossed, leaning back slightly with his hands placed beside him to keep his balance. jeongguk has been trying to convince himself not to hold yoongi's hand since they got here. "that's because it's thought that less than ten percent of whale sharks actually survive to adulthood. they're hunted in some parts of the world, you know. quite sad, actually. they're so gentle and gorgeous... i don't know how anyone could kill a creature like that."

it's been months since yoongi first mentioned his interest in marine life. at the time, jeongguk had stored the information away as another facet of yoongi he wanted to explore as they became friends and grew closer, but after months of working to find time to see each other at all, they've finally come to the aquarium. it's rare that they're both free during the day, but circumstance worked in their favour.

jeongguk has never been to the aquarium. something about it makes him very sad—these creatures kept in tanks and cages for the entertainment of humans. kept from their homes, kept from the life they ought to be living all because someone more powerful than them decided they should be here. it feels a bit like his own life. but seeing the look on yoongi's face when he watches the fish swim back and forth, calling up all of the knowledge he learned as a child and teenager again—jeongguk doesn't mind, at least for now.

he's not really here for the fish, anyway. there's something fascinating about watching yoongi explore his own passions; he's always so professional and upright, powerful and expensive in his silk shirts and fancy watches and sleek cars. but right now, even though he's still wearing those expensive and even though they drove here in that sleek car, yoongi looks a lot more like someone who just really loves whale sharks.

it's this that has jeongguk's heart tripping in his chest. what initially attracted him to yoongi was almost purely physical, although his sharp tongue and ability to flirt certainly didn't drive him away. upon finding out they're soulmates and deciding to become friends, jeongguk discovered something much different: yoongi is kind. yoongi is passionate. yoongi is a total nerd and opinionated and willing to make a fool of himself just to make jeongguk laugh.

he doesn't need another reminder, but when he watches yoongi grinning at the pacific ocean exhibit, looking at those fish the way jeongguk looks at a good piece of art, jeongguk knows he's absolutely smitten. and has been since the beginning. five months is a very long time to wrestle with that, to know he's soulmates and is falling in love with someone who is so different from him and has such different beliefs. he'll never forget the way yoongi made him feel the first time they met, how small, how uncertain. but the yoongi sitting beside him isn't that yoongi, not anymore. he's not sure what's changed or if yoongi has merely let jeongguk in enough to realize he was never that yoongi. but jeongguk likes it. he likes yoongi.

jeongguk only realizes yoongi is waiting for his response to something when yoongi turns his head, making eye contact. jeongguk blinks at the sudden attention, especially when yoongi says, "do you?"

"sorry, what?" jeongguk's cheeks colour, glad for the fact that the hallways of the aquarium are dark and the only light is from the illuminated tanks so that yoongi can't see it.

yoongi's grin is almost exasperated. "i asked if you wanted to keep going. i don't know if you even care that much about this stuff."

"no," says jeongguk quickly. "i like it. i like hearing you talk about this stuff. i can tell you really care so that makes me care, too." he doesn't say that he could listen to yoongi read shopping lists or the phone book for hours and find it fascinating, all because it's yoongi. because he loves yoongi's voice and his little habit of sucking air between his teeth and the faces he makes when he's thinking.

"i had books upon books about sea animals," says yoongi. "almost every time we came here, i'd make my parents book a tour so i could get all of the information from the tour guides. it was the same tour every time, so i'm sure they got bored, but i literally memorized the speeches because i heard them so many times." he'd jokingly given jeongguk a few of them when they looked at different exhibits, something that was extremely endearing and still is.

absently, jeongguk realizes this is kind of a date. and neither of them has said anything about feelings, not since they became friends five months ago. but jeongguk doesn't think he's very good at hiding his and yoongi certainly isn't. but they made a deal, so neither of them brings it up—because bringing it up is dangerous. despite how much he likes yoongi and how much he's beginning to want more, jeongguk can never escape the fact that being soulmates is dangerous. they could die because of this.

so it's easier to pretend they're nothing more than friends, that he likes yoongi purely platonically. that this is just two friends at an aquarium talking about whale sharks and not jeongguk pretending this could ever be something normal for them.

"you're cute, hyung," says jeongguk with a laugh, bumping their pinkies together. "i'm glad you have something you're this passionate about." it hasn't escaped his memory that yoongi told him he'd love to be a marine biologist if it weren't for his current job, so he adds, "do you think you could ever work with this stuff? what would happen if you tried to leave your job?"

"i don't know. my department would be suspicious and probably track me, spy on my every move to make sure i wasn't having second thoughts about loyalties." yoongi shrugs. "it's rare for anyone to leave a position within the government. my job is what people strive for their entire lives, would kill for. willingly leaving it is just... unheard of." yoongi was born into that life, given that position because of his parents. but it's different, how he talks about that job. but sometimes people don't get what they truly want, because they have a part to play. a role to fill.

jeongguk wishes he could make it better, but he's powerless in this world. they need to protect each other now, regardless of what they truly want.

"well, enough talk about the government," says jeongguk, standing up and waiting for yoongi to join him. "i want to see the jellyfish."

as they wander through the rest of the aquarium to get the jellyfish at the end, jeongguk finds himself pressing closer than necessary to yoongi—but there are other people here, people who look at jeongguk like they know he doesn't belong here, among people who have the money and time and ability to come to the aquarium at all. it's not expensive by any means, but most people in jeongguk's neighbourhood wouldn't think twice about it, if they even have the time outside of working their asses off to make enough money to eat. these public spaces are technically open for anyone to enjoy, both the elite and the common people, but the difference is that the elite feel entitled to enjoy it and the common people don't, often fearful of even being in the same vicinity as someone who looks down on them for their lack of money and social status.

being friends with yoongi has been an exercise in self-esteem, in a way. with yoongi, he can spend his time in bars and art galleries and aquariums he normally wouldn't want to spend time in because of the weird stigma. for five months, he's been trying to learn that he does belong here as much as yoongi or anyone else does, that there's nothing inherently less about him that would prohibit him from taking up space in the world. for his entire life, he's been taught that he doesn't deserve to be here, doesn't deserve to have a voice or fight for his own wellbeing because he lives in poverty.

but jeongguk has always known that's not true. and since becoming friends with yoongi and frequenting places like these more often, jeongguk is finally trying to convince himself to unlearn all of the filth that the world has taught him, to live like he has a right to be here.

still—he can't help sticking closer to yoongi and then berating himself for it, like yoongi is going to protect him from the stares and the comments. but yoongi has always known he belongs here. yoongi is more powerful, something completely arbitrary but also completely true. jeongguk is still trying to balance those two ideas.

and anyway, his hand keeps brushing against yoongi's, yearning to act like some other couples they've walked past. there would be no way for anyone to know for sure that they shouldn't be acting like a couple, but years of the fear of what could happen if the government knows he found his soulmate has him hesitating.

it's yoongi, then, who, between the exhibit about fish living off the coast of chile and the exhibit with the sea turtles, turns his hand when jeongguk's brushes against it and catches jeongguk's fingers, tangling them together until he and jeongguk are holding hands. it's a loose grip at first, like he's uncertain despite taking action, until jeongguk squeezes his hand, staring straight ahead as he bites the inside of his cheek to stop from smiling.

standing in the jellyfish exhibit, before a tiny tank with several jellyfish slowly swirling around and around, jeongguk leans close, his shoulder just slightly behind yoongi's so they can stand without having to let go of each other, and whispers, "i know you're dying to geek about jellyfish. go ahead."

"i'm not dying," yoongi mutters back. a pause. "it's just—did you know they can clone themselves? if you cut a jellyfish in half, the two pieces can regenerate and become two different organisms. isn't that cool?"

jeongguk hums, leaning down to hook his chin on yoongi's shoulder as he watches the jellyfish in the tank. "what else?"

"in the early nineties, the americans launched two thousand jellyfish into space to see how they would react to a lack of gravity. they reproduced to almost sixty thousand jellyfish, but then they couldn't survive back on earth."

"fascinating."

"i know."

"have you ever thought about having a fish tank in your house?"

yoongi tilts his head so it's leaning against jeongguk's. "i don't think i'd be a good pet owner," he admits. "i'm not good at taking care of things."

"that's not true," murmurs jeongguk. hasn't yoongi been trying to take care of him this entire time, in a way? maybe not the way he'd take care of a pet, but it's a relationship nonetheless. and fish can't have many needs to begin with. "i think you should get one. even just have one fish. i bet it would make you happy."

"you're making decisions about my life now, are you?"

"alright, i want a fish, but i really don't have the time or means to take care of one. how about you take care of it for me? it can be our fish."

yoongi snorts. but then he lifts their joined hands, pressing a kiss to the back of jeongguk's. "alright," he says. "our fish." and maybe it's stupid to feel so giddy about the way he says it, something for the two of them, something that's theirs. it's just an inch they can take in this battle. it's not the same as what jeongguk is beginning to want, what some part of him has wanted since the start—but it's something. and the fact that yoongi isn't reminding him of their supposed boundaries is more than enough.

he turns his face, planting a kiss on yoongi's cheek before he begins pulling yoongi through the exhibit and toward the exit. "alright, off to the pet store!"

"wait, you meant right now?"

"when else, hyung? there's no time like the present."

"don't we need to research this first?"

"you need to learn to take a few risks, yoongi-hyung. be spontaneous. and as if you don't already know everything about taking care of fish with that nerd brain of yours." jeongguk giggles as yoongi pushes him weakly, but yoongi is laughing too, and jeongguk loves him, jeongguk wants more than a fucking fish with him. jeongguk wants everything.

for now, though, he's content with whatever yoongi is willing to give him. they can figure out the rest later.

≡ ≡ ≡

"i want ramen," says jeongguk, apropos of nothing. when he doesn't get an immediate response, he looks up from his phone, extending his leg so he can dig his toes into yoongi's thigh. "i said, i want ramen."

yoongi looks up from his own phone, staring at jeongguk from across the sofa. "you have legs and hands."

"i don't know how to use your kettle."

"that's literally bullshit. you used it earlier."

"i've forgotten."

"jeon jeongguk."

"min yoongi."

jeongguk wiggles his toes into the crease between yoongi's knee, where his leg is folded on the sofa. the truth is, he could make himself ramen. but he likes when yoongi does things for him, and he knows that if he waits long enough, pouts hard enough, yoongi will give in. yoongi always gives in.

finally, with a dramatic sigh, yoongi unfolds his legs and stands up. "fine," he says. "but only because i'm going over there anyway. brat." jeongguk beams at him, offering his thanks as yoongi walks by and tweaks jeongguk's ear in admonishment. but he's doing it anyway, so that says more than anything.

the television is still on, albeit the volume lowered as the credits of the movie they were watching play instead. they decided to spend the evening in after long days at work for both of them, turning on the television to let the programming run as they lounged on the sofa and spoke at length about this and that. in truth, jeongguk prefers these kinds of days with yoongi. he does enjoy the bars they go to, or visiting the aquarium and other classic spots that jeongguk has never been privileged enough to think about visiting, but in the end, he's always going to like this more: just getting to exist with yoongi.

if there's one thing he's truly learned over the past five months of knowing yoongi and being his friend, it's that the universe was right in making them soulmates. they just fit. their personalities, under the façade of wealth or lack thereof, are strikingly similar in many ways, allowing them to understand each other and their needs in ways that jeongguk has never experienced. yet they have plenty of differences, ones that endear jeongguk to yoongi more than ever. the differences in their upbringing may be striking, but even then, they've learned how to work around them for the most part.

sometimes, their friendship doesn't have to be about the big things, anyway. it can just be this: the two of them sitting on a sofa, giggling at stupid memes they send each other. jeongguk could spend the rest of his life right here, always knowing yoongi is there to reach for. always knowing yoongi is there to reach back.

even now, he's distracted by the sound of yoongi singing in the kitchen as he goes about making ramen for jeongguk. he's singing horribly on purpose, adding ridiculous vibrato to make himself sound silly, and jeongguk giggles to himself, opening his camera app so he can subtly record it. he's slowly gaining an arsenal of blackmail on yoongi through pictures and videos; his phone might be shit, but it works well enough in that respect.

fifteen seconds into recording, though, another sound catches his attention and jeongguk turns his eyes to the television, which is now showing the evening news. it's something that jeongguk rarely sees; he doesn't own a television and the radio stations his family gets with their radio are all government propaganda, anyway. he can use his phone to access the news but chooses to do so rarely, since that's government propaganda, too. anything he needs to know he hears by word of mouth from his neighbourhood, knowing he can at least trust those people to tell him the truth.

he knows this. he knows that the government has control of the media in this country, particularly the news stations and what stories are put out—and how those stories are framed. he doesn't know why he's surprised, then, when he reads the headline on the news story the news anchor is explaining and sees massive infiltration and arrest of underground society of soulmates a success.

jeongguk reaches for the remote, turning up the volume so he can hear what she's saying. with both horror and intrigue, he listens as the woman explains that a group of special forces working for the military have been covertly infiltrating an underground society of bonded soulmates for months. the soulmates made a community for themselves, living and providing for each other in a stretch of abandoned buildings on the outskirts of busan; some of them were rebels, who did most of the providing for others with the supplies they stole from government-owned companies, but most of them were just normal people who had bonded with their soulmates and wanted to live normal lives.

the special forces found their entire network, though, spending months gathering names and locations. once they were confident that they could do some real damage, they brought a swarm of reinforcements and stormed the community. on screen, jeongguk sees clips pulled from the body cams of the officers showing the thick of it, people running and screaming as they're grabbed by officers and forced to the ground.

over the clips, the news anchor goes on to explain that only a handful of the soulmates were killed in the ambush—only the ones who attacked first, some who tried to use their powers to escape. the rest of them were arrested and brought to seoul, where they're in the process of being interrogated. "our president is being so kind as to give these dangerous criminals a second chance," she says, as the screen shows children being ripped from their parents, screaming and crying. "our reports say these soulmates will be pardoned if they repent for their crimes and provide useful information for helping our military find other communities like theirs. otherwise, they'll be rightfully execu—"

the screen goes dark. jeongguk jolts upright, confused before he spots yoongi in his periphery, remote still pointed at the television. yoongi's chest is heaving.

"i was watching that," says jeongguk.

"i don't want to see it," says yoongi, throwing the remote onto the other side of the sofa. "i don't want to hear it."

"so i shouldn't see or hear it, either? i want to know what the fuck those evil pigs are doing to innocent people."

"why, jeongguk?" asks yoongi, turning wild eyes to look at him. "why do you put yourself through that? doesn't it upset you?"

"that's the point, hyung. pretending that this shit isn't happening isn't going to help. but the anger—it reminds me who i am and what i'm doing. it reminds me that i can't stand for the system i've been born into. as long as i have that, i have something to work toward." he can't do much now, powerless and without an ability from bonding with his soulmate. but one day, he swears he's going to help bring down the goddamn government even if he has to die for it.

jeongguk clenches his jaw, turning back to the television. "some of us aren't lucky enough to be able to ignore this stuff, hyung," he adds quietly. "all you have to do is turn off the tv. but i can't turn off my life. everywhere i look, i'm reminded of how the government treats me." even being here does so; he's sitting in a house so expensive sometimes he still feels like he'll ruin it by breathing in the wrong way. he and yoongi are usually good at working around those differences, but sometimes it's just so glaringly obvious that it makes jeongguk sad: when yoongi references some childhood memory he assumes is a universal experience but only ever applies to the wealthy; when jeongguk complains about a struggle that yoongi hasn't even heard of before; when their habits clash, highlighting how different they truly are.

and now this. if yoongi doesn't want to see what's happening outside the bubble of his wealth and privilege, all he has to do is change the fucking channel. but this is jeongguk's life. and those soulmates are people just like him.

"i'm not saying i want to ignore it," says yoongi carefully. "i just... i just want to spend time with you and have a nice evening. is that too much to ask?"

"yes," says jeongguk. "we've been doing that for five months. just being friends and pretending that's all this is, that we're not even soulmates and every day you go to work to help kill soulmates while i'm killing myself trying to please people like you so that i can eat when i go home. we're so good at ignoring things, hyung. but i don't want to ignore them anymore."

maybe that's why everything has felt so easy with yoongi—if they just ignore circumstance, they can be just two friends hanging out a few times a week. but that's not what this is. that's never been what this is.

he feels yoongi sink onto the floor next to him, pressing his forehead into jeongguk's folded knees. "sorry," he mumbles. "i don't want to ignore it. i just don't want to see their faces. it's—it's awful. it's all the more awful because i'm the one who lets that happen."

jeongguk doesn't know if he's looking for sympathy, but he won't be getting any. this is the part of yoongi that jeongguk has been trying to grapple with for months—knowing that yoongi can be caring and funny and compassionate, and yet every day he goes to work and helps the government kill innocent people.

when jeongguk doesn't say anything, yoongi adds, "i used to love watching the news. i loved when those kinds of stories would come up, because it felt like a personal victory for me. i did that. i helped with that. i was making the world a better place." there's an unspoken but at the end of the sentence, and it's this that has jeongguk exhaling slowly, reaching over to smooth over yoongi's hair when he tilts his head to be able to look jeongguk in the eye. "i don't know when i stopped feeling that way."

"you're growing," jeongguk tells him. "you're gaining new information and insights that war with your existing ones and it makes you uncomfortable, but it has to happen. and i hope you'll come out a better person on the other side."

"are you saying i was a shit person before?"

jeongguk raises an eyebrow. yoongi sighs, closing his eyes and pressing his forehead harder into jeongguk's knee. "i know," he murmurs. "i know. seeing how you live and realizing how angry it makes me has made me rethink soulmates. and it's hard to just change something i've believed for my entire life, but i—i want to change it. i don't agree with the way the rebels do things, but i get it. jeongguk, i think i get it."

slowly, jeongguk exhales. it feels like he's been holding his breath for five months, unsure of where this would go, if their differences would one day be too big to overcome. this hasn't always been about him and yoongi, anyway. sometimes it's just been about wanting yoongi to understand something deeper, to believe in something more than the government.

"i've waited a really long time to hear you say that," jeongguk admits.

"i'm not... there yet. i keep catching myself thinking such terrible things."

"well, i'm proud of you."

yoongi lifts his head, brows furrowed. "i haven't done anything worth being proud of, jeongguk."

"you're trying," says jeongguk. "when we first met and argued about this stuff, you just got angry and avoided the subject. you refused to even consider my point of view or the idea that there could be another point of view. but now you're learning new things and seeing new things and you're not running away from them, as scary as they might be. you're trying to fit it into your worldview and you understand that you might have to change your worldview instead. i think most people, regardless of privilege, wouldn't do that because they're afraid of change and discomfort and realizing life might not be what they thought it was. but you, min yoongi... you're doing good. even if realizing the government isn't what you thought it was means that you have to change so much in your life, you're trying to let it happen."

he can't imagine how terrifying it might be for yoongi—and it's still not right that he's been active in helping the government this way, but it's how he was raised. jeongguk can't fault him for being born into the family he was. but when faced with all of this, he's not running anymore. he might have to change everything in his life. he might realize he doesn't actually deserve the privilege he does when so many others are suffering. and although jeongguk can tell it scares him, can tell that he's not sure he wants that, yoongi is still here. he's still trying to grapple with the truth. and that means something.

"i can tell you're trying," adds jeongguk. "that's more than most people do when they're faced with something that challenges their beliefs."

"i've been so angry about soulmates for so long," says yoongi. "at first, it was just the way i was raised. but... soulmates killed my brother." it's not the first time jeongguk has heard it. but it still hurts him to see the way yoongi's eyes cloud over at the memory. "and i know they didn't target him. but he still died and he was—he was just doing his job. and yeah, sometimes he arrested innocent soulmates. but he wasn't a bad person. he was just... my hyung." he shrugs. "i dunno. every time i get upset about soulmates, i remember that they're really just trying to fight for people like you. but when i think soulmates are in the right, i remember they're the reason my brother is dead. i can't reconcile those two things."

"maybe you don't have to," says jeongguk. "it's an objective fact that your brother was killed by rebel soulmates. but it's also an objective fact that soulmates are trying to fight for a better world for themselves and the common people. the world isn't black and white, hyung—that's what i've learned. that's what being with you has taught me."

he lets out a weak laugh. "i used to think everyone who worked for or supported the government was a piece of shit with no morals and deserved whatever the rebels threw at them," he says. "but then i met you, and you're... normal. you were just raised with different beliefs and yeah, your job makes me upset, but you were doing what you thought was right. and it just made me realize that it goes both ways. and all we can do is try to figure out where we stand in all of this and what we believe in and who we're going to fight for."

"i don't hate soulmates anymore, not the way i did," says yoongi. "but i don't know if i'm ready to willingly side with them, not after everything."

jeongguk grins, tapping yoongi's nose. "all i know is that you're my soulmate," he says. "and i like you. and i want us to be together for a long time. and i want to fight for you and for us. whatever that looks like. i'm always going to want to fight for more in the grand scheme of things—for my people and for a better world and for a government that doesn't treat me like shit. but on a very micro level, it's you and me."

yoongi takes a very deep breath. "you and me," he repeats.

"i want you to keep grappling with those beliefs," says jeongguk. "i want you to think and think for yourself for once. and i will too. because i can be kinder, too. we all can. but i want to be here with you through all of it, because it might be scary, but you're not alone. i'm your soulmate. so i'm here. i'm right here, hyung, and i'm not going anywhere."

for a time, when yoongi looks up at him, jeongguk is terrified. because yoongi is looking at him like he so often does, yet there's something more. something deeper. jeongguk almost feels like prey. and then he really takes a moment to think about what yoongi has been saying, which is that his views on soulmates are changing. and if those views about soulmates are what kept them as friends—

"this might be completely out of line," says yoongi suddenly, "but i kind of really want to kiss you right now."

jeongguk swallows tightly. "i've kind of really wanted to kiss you for five months."

they stare at each other. it's so achingly silent that jeongguk can hear the old clock in the kitchen tick. and then, all at once—yoongi surges up as jeongguk surges forward and they meet in the middle, lips colliding almost painfully in their eagerness. yoongi's hands find their way to holding jeongguk's face as jeongguk's clutch onto front of yoongi's shirt, trying to pull him closer; he succeeds as yoongi clambers onto his lap, knees on either side of jeongguk's thighs as they press together.

yoongi tastes like coffee. he vaguely remembers, the night they slept together, being amused that yoongi didn't taste expensive. but it doesn't matter now, because it's yoongi and he has waited five months for this. he's waited five months for yoongi to curl a hand into his hair and force his head back, licking into jeongguk's mouth like a starved man. he's waited five months to slide his hand under the hem of yoongi's shirt, fingers dancing along the soft skin of yoongi's stomach and upwards as he counts the ridges of his ribs. he's waited five months for the more he promised himself; they're friends. they're friends but it was always going to end like this, because soulmates have a proven inclination to fall in love. they've been playing a dangerous game for a very long time.

leaning his head back, he lets yoongi drag his lips messily over the corner of jeongguk's mouth, his jaw, the column of his throat. jeongguk almost laughs, spreading his hands over yoongi's ribcage as he mutters, "does this mean you're ready to return to the conversation about us being soulmates?"

"friends," yoongi grumbles into his neck, nipping at the skin. "friends who happen to be soulmates."

"we're not friends."

yoongi returns to his line of sight, lips already red and swollen as he grasps at jeongguk's chin. "do you want to fuck or not?"

jeongguk's grin is razor sharp. "who said i wanted to fuck?"

unceremoniously, yoongi reaches between them to palm at jeongguk's admittedly half-hard cock, and when jeongguk lets out a hiss, yoongi's responding grin is nothing short of shit-eating. he darts forward to kiss yoongi again, less sloppy than the last. "we're gonna have to talk about it at some point," he says. despite the fact that being soulmates is still dangerous, most of the personal obstacles standing in the way of them just being together properly have been crumbling with the passing months.

but yoongi cocks an eyebrow at him. "i can think of a much better idea for what to do with my mouth."

jeongguk considers it, and then grinds his hips upward. "one day, you're not going to be able to use sex to get out of having conversations you don't want to have."

"but not today?" asks yoongi, voice bordering on hopeful.

jeongguk rolls his eyes. he knows himself, knows how he feels for yoongi. and one day, he'll get the truth out of yoongi, too—the truth he thinks he knows, the truth that might be too big for them to face right now. the truth they'll die for.

≡ ≡ ≡

the conversation doesn't really happen. jeongguk doesn't know if either of them is really ready for it, for admitting that there might be something more here—and that either of them is ready to accept the repercussions of it. it's easier this way, to start sleeping together regularly to fulfill some physical desire to be with each other and let it spill over into the emotional desire, too, the overspill enough to keep them sated for now. this way, they can be together without having to truly admit how they feel—and without risking the danger of being soulmates.

but even then, jeongguk can feel his patience wearing thin. he comes into understanding of his own feelings as he watches yoongi begin to gain hold of his new insights and beliefs about the world, whatever that means for himself. and he knows that yoongi has some feelings for him, almost confident they mirror his own. they won't bond as soulmates until they admit it, and they could realistically exploit a loophole in the business of soulmates by never admitting the truth out loud, only sleeping with each other without the pillowtalk afterwards, choosing to maintain an arm's length distance from each other emotionally.

but jeongguk can't do that. it hurts him more to keep it all in, to not know. they're teetering on the precipice of being soulmates, always a half step away from fulfilling what they've always been meant to fulfill. and it's dangerous. they could die for it. yoongi's position in the government makes things all the more precarious, but the longer it goes on with those three simple words on the tip of jeongguk's tongue, the harder it is to swallow them down.

jeongguk is able to keep it in for all of another month—a month of them throwing some caution to the wind and finding themselves in each other's beds (or—finding jeongguk in yoongi's bed, because jeongguk lives with his parents in a very cramped and thin-walled apartment and neither of them are keen on having that morning after conversation), of always seeming on the edge of taking that last step, of watching yoongi begin to have conviction in his new beliefs. most often their conversations turn to soulmates and the state of the country as jeongguk encourages yoongi to think, to work through his own thoughts.

over the month, he watches as yoongi begins to shed his last prejudices for soulmates, watches as yoongi loses his last grip on the belief that having a soulmate is a curse in and of itself and that the government has any right to treat the common people the way they do.

and then—

yoongi is talking about architecture again. it's another of his secret passions that he's let jeongguk in on over the past six months of knowing each other, something that comes out when he'll see a building or design that he particularly likes and absolutely has to tell jeongguk about. right now he's half-propped up on a few of the many pillows on his bed, scrolling through his phone as he tries to find the pictures he took of a church he drove by and had to check out earlier in the day. jeongguk is lying between his legs, half on top of his chest with his chin resting on his folded arms as he watches yoongi's face from this angle.

they're both at least half naked, still warm and hazy in the aftermath of sex. jeongguk doesn't know when their post-coital conversations turned to such domestic things—architecture and silly things they'd seen during the day and plans for the weekend. jeongguk has never had a friend with benefits before, but he knows this is far beyond that.

absently, as yoongi talks about ceiling fixtures, jeongguk rubs at the back of his neck. his soulmark is there, as it has been since he was sixteen. strange to think yoongi had already had his soulmate for four years at that point, had memorized it so he would know who his soulmate was and do something about it. yoongi's brother had been dead for over four years, the hatred for soulmates harboured deep within yoongi. he'd been working for the government for two years already, was working on the technological development that would make him a force to be reckoned with within his department.

now here they are. just the other day, yoongi called jeongguk in the middle of the day, a rare occurrence when they're both working, and he had to leave a voicemail because jeongguk was busy. all he'd said was i just realized i can't punish my own soulmate for the actions of other soulmates. and perhaps that was the last piece of the puzzle for him, the one realization he needed. needs.

jeongguk looks up at yoongi's lovely, bright face as he talks about fucking door frames and he doesn't think he will ever stop marveling at how lucky they are to have found each other, how lucky he is to have min yoongi as a soulmate. it's impossible to hold all of this inside of himself.

"they did this really interesting thing, actually," yoongi is saying, still squinting at his phone. "i swear i took a photo of it, but now i feel like a complete fool ju—"

"i love you," says jeongguk. he sees yoongi's entire body just stop, eyes trained on his phone as his mouth snaps shut. jeongguk swallows tightly and then, before he can get scared of it, says it again: "i love you, yoongi-hyung. i'm in love with you. i have been for a while and i know it's... i know bad things can happen to us, but i don't want to keep it inside anymore."

finally, yoongi's eyes shift to his, and in them, jeongguk sees a mixture of fear and relief. they both know what this means—if yoongi says it back, they'll bond as soulmates and there will be no going back. their dormant superhuman abilities will be activated. they'll be able to fight if they so wish, but the government will also be able to track them down. a few months ago, yoongi explained that there's a sort of trace that bonded soulmates give off, a trace that his department has been working on being able to detect. whatever happens now, they're jumping straight off the deep end.

"jeongguk," begins yoongi, and jeongguk pushes himself up, kneeling between yoongi's legs as yoongi puts his phone down.

"i know, hyung," says jeongguk. "i know it's dangerous and there's no going back, but i can't—i can't pretend i don't. even if we weren't soulmates, i think i'd still be in love with you. and i just want you to know that. i want you to be happy and safe and i know that admitting i love you is kind of putting you in a weird situation, but it hurts more to not say it." they haven't really talked about this part, about if they want to bond should they fall in love. but jeongguk made it clear in the beginning that this was what he always wanted, and now it's up to yoongi to decide.

yoongi, who grew up hating soulmates on principle. yoongi, who has always believed soulmates to be dangerous and murderous and a threat to his very way of life. yoongi, who has been grappling with those beliefs for months now, slowly coming into his own and learning to form his own beliefs independent of what he's been told his entire life.

"you know what this means, don't you?" asks yoongi. "you know what could happen to us if we do this?"

jeongguk nods. "it's not that i don't care," he says. "i don't want you to be in danger because of this, but... growing up, part of me couldn't understand why soulmates would risk it. i was always taught to keep my head down and not invite anyone with more power over me to hurt me or make my life harder. and by bonding, soulmates became beacons for the government to swoop in and kill them or force them into even worse poverty than the rest of us. i couldn't really get why someone would willingly put themselves in that position. but—i get it now." he reaches out for yoongi's hands, intertwining their fingers. "it's because being with your soulmate, the person you love more than anything in the world, is worth it. it's worth the danger and the pain and the fear. and i don't want to die, hyung. but i'm fucked anyway. my life is shit and i'm treated like dirt already, but this way, i—i have you. and you make all of that okay."

he knows it's not the same for yoongi, who is already coming from a place of wealth and privilege. jeongguk's life becoming more dangerous is hardly a leap, but everything might have to change for yoongi.

"you don't have to say it back," says jeongguk. "i know it's a really big step and it means a lot more for you if we bond and could become targets for the government and i never want to put you in that position—"

"jeongguk." yoongi's voice is firm, but when jeongguk looks at him, there's such softness in his eyes. for a time, they stare at each other as nerves make a home under jeongguk's ribcage. he knows how yoongi feels about him, is the thing, or at least has an idea. but taking that final step and admitting it, allowing themselves to be seen and known and loved without boundary—this is what soulmates are meant for.

then yoongi tugs on his hands, sitting up against the headboard and pulling jeongguk in until jeongguk is straddling him, sitting on his thighs as yoongi reaches up to take jeongguk's face in his hands. jeongguk sees a grin playing on his lips before yoongi tilts their foreheads together, breath held between them.

"i am absolutely terrified," he whispers. "but i just realized i don't care. because the people who see soulmates as dangerous are ignorant and they'll do anything to keep an iron grip on their power, but you know what? you know what, jeongguk?"

"what?"

"they don't get to decide our happiness. they don't get to decide who we love. you're right, jeongguk. the universe chose us and that has to mean something. and the fucking government doesn't get to keep us apart."

jeongguk swallows tightly, squeezing his eyes shut. this is it. this is really it.

"do you know what i'm saying, jeongguk?" asks yoongi.

"maybe," says jeongguk.

"i want to be your soulmate. i want to be with you, jeongguk, properly. fuck the government."

jeongguk giggles. "fuck the government," he agrees. "eat the rich?"

"maybe not that. yet."

suddenly, everything feels... yellow.

when jeongguk pulls away enough to look at yoongi, he revels in the last safe moment before it all. it's dangerous and stupid, but it's their lives, their love. jeongguk would rather live under a fucking bridge with yoongi than in this house without him. love makes people do such reckless things.

"hyung," says jeongguk. he winds an arm around yoongi's shoulder, fingers dancing over the back of his neck where he knows yoongi's soulmark is, a mirror image of his own. "say it."

"jeon jeongguk," whispers yoongi, leaning in until their lips are brushing against each other, the words said there enough to seal their fates: "i love you, too."

at first, nothing happens. jeongguk just lets out a little sigh, knowing that this is right, this is how they were always supposed to be. then jeongguk ducks his head, pressing his lips to yoongi's, and—he feels the tiniest shock of electricity run through him from that point of contact. warmth spreads over him from the inside out, his fingers and toes tingling with it. he always expected that bonding would be something dramatic—flashing lights and strong winds and passing out before coming to as a changed person.

but it makes sense that it's just this: a gentle realization, a quiet confession, and the power of knowledge.

pulling back, jeongguk looks down at his hands as though expecting himself to look different. but those are still his hands. the same callouses from hard work, the same faint scars from childhood injuries. "do you feel anything?" jeongguk asks. "was that it?"

"were you expecting something else?" asks yoongi, amused. even as jeongguk keeps staring at his hands, yoongi presses a kiss to his cheek, hands wandering down his bare chest.

"i don't know. what do you think our powers are?" those apparently don't fully show up until about a week after bonding, a gradual thing the way the appearance soulmarks are gradual. maybe that's how the bond works, too—and there might not be physical signs of it, but maybe it's just knowing. part of him feels like there's now a beacon over top of yoongi's house alerting the police to the fact that they've just bonded, but he knows that's not possible.

soulmates have always been such a big thing, hotly debated, the source of pain and suffering for so many. but right now, jeongguk realizes soulmates are really just people being in love. right now, it's just jeongguk and yoongi. them being in love. them knowing it. them not being afraid of it, not anymore.

"we'll find out," murmurs yoongi, lips pressed to jeongguk's jaw. "for now, i think there are more pressing matters?"

"what can be more pressing than having an intense discussion on what superpowers we're going to have?"

yoongi pulls back, giving jeongguk a deadpan stare. "we just admitted to being in love with each other and you're not going to at least let me suck your dick?"

jeongguk considers it, tilting his head this way and that. and then he giggles, suddenly overcome with it—with the joy of it, the relief. this is his soulmate. this is the person he is meant to be spend his life with. and now he finally can. he flops to the side and rolls onto his back, dramatically letting his legs fall open as he says, "we can do both. you suck my dick, i'll talk about superpowers."

yoongi lets out a groan, but he practically pounces on jeongguk anyway, grumbling a, "worst soulmate in the world."

laughing as he pulls yoongi into a kiss, jeongguk says, "we're perfectly compatible, hyung. we can be the worst together." that's the point now, isn't it? together. from now on, everything about them is together. facing the danger and the fear as a joined front, as a pair. the way it's always been meant to be.

≡ ≡ ≡

yoongi takes the next few days off of work in hopes of avoiding suspicion. neither of them knows the true extent of what bonding with a soulmate means, if the government has ways of sniffing that sort of thing out among their employees, or if yoongi would just give it away in a completely unrelated way by accident. more than any of those reasons, though, jeongguk doesn't think he could let yoongi out of his sight for very long anyway, and they have plenty of things to discuss.

at first, they don't get much talking done. but eventually yoongi manages to sit jeongguk down in his office, opposite sides of his mahogany desk neatly piled with files and papers and books, and asks, "what do we do now, then?"

jeongguk would be happy to stay locked up in yoongi's house and pretend the outside world doesn't exist for the rest of his life, but he knows that's impossible. there are real dangers and threats just outside this door that they have to deal with now. they decided to take the plunge and bond as soulmates, but now they have to deal with the consequences of it rather than just the benefits and joys.

"well, since we're together, i think we should do everything that comes with that," says jeongguk. he has his feet propped on yoongi's desk, having ignored the unimpressed look yoongi gave him, and is drumming his fingers against the wood. "we already see each other a lot and it's clear we don't really mind just hanging out and not doing big stuff together, but... i dunno. it would be nice to live together at least."

yoongi's eyebrows rise. "how are we supposed to do that? you're going to move in with me and leave your parents? or i move in with you and make that cramped apartment seem even smaller?"

"i don't know." jeongguk groans. "i feel bad leaving my parents, but you can't move in with us. that would be suspicious enough without your car parked on the street every day, and it's too easy to track your movements." he tilts his head this way and that, thinking. "unless... we move into a new place together? you have enough money to buy a new place, right? it could be an in between—closer to my parents and not as flashy as this place, more of like a second home that you can easily write off if anyone asks. we just don't have to tell the government that i'm moving in with you." it's risky, since he's supposed to register his every move with the government for approval. of course, a new job or an attempt to move out of the houses they've been given are rarely ever approved. so they just won't ask for permission.

this, yoongi seems to find more feasible. "you wouldn't feel bad about leaving people behind?" he asks. "considering i have money and you would be capitalizing on that."

"i know i have a bit of a complex," jeongguk frowns, "but that's why it's a compromise—i'm not moving out because i'm trying to live a better life and leave my parents in the dust. it's just... i want to be with you and this is how we can do it. i'll still be working with my parents and see them every day and i'm not going to have—i dunno, a new wardrobe and a car and go on vacations with your money. i just want us to live together. and that's going to come with benefits because you're fucking rich, but it's the intention." he picks at a rip in his jeans, not looking at yoongi as he adds, "if i think about it too much, it'll make me feel awful."

"i'm sorry," says yoongi. "i know this stuff is complicated because of where we come from—"

"it's fine, hyung, really." jeongguk offers him a grin without actually looking at him. "i'll be able to deal with it." he won't be able to stop the guilt, but the only way to help that is to tear down the entire system leaving his parents at a disadvantage. and the only way to do that—

"okay, so i can start looking for a new place," says yoongi, although there's some hesitation in his voice. "what else?"

"i want us to get married." this time, jeongguk is looking at yoongi to gauge his reaction. he doesn't like the expression of panic he sees. "i mean—not right now, obviously, but when we're ready. because i love you and you love me and we're soulmates and i want to make it even more official than just bonding."

"jeongguk, you know we can't do that."

"not legally, no," says jeongguk. "we can't get married in the eyes of the government, but soulmates have their ways. i'm sure you know there are entire underground communities and societies of bonded soulmates who have found their way around this stuff. they're not protected by the government, can't have real jobs or get married or anything without drawing suspicion. so they figure it out. but that's the closest we can get to real married and i want it. eventually. when we're ready."

yoongi is still reluctant. and jeongguk knows he wants it—has made it clear in more than one way over the past several days—but that fear is still holding him back. "everything we do to make us more than a normal couple, the closer we come to getting caught," says yoongi. he leans over the desk, reaching out to take jeongguk's hands. "and i do want to be with you, jeongguk. i want to be with you for the rest of my life, but i also want that life to be longer than twenty-odd years. can't it be enough that we love each other and know we're together?"

"my whole life, i've dreamed about this," says jeongguk. "finding my soulmate and having the happily ever after. and i know it won't be like that because the government is trying to kill us, but i can't—i don't want to give into them. they want us to be scared. and i don't want to be."

"jeongguk, they murder bonded soulmates for literally no fucking reason. if we draw attention to ourselves in any way, they won't hesitate. they don't care who i am or what i've done for them. they'll use my own inventions to blow my brains out."

jeongguk recoils, pulling his hands from yoongi's. he knew this was going to be difficult. he just didn't think that yoongi wouldn't be as excited about being a little rebellious. but it's clear that those fears and beliefs are still in him; he might know that the government is wrong and shouldn't be killing soulmates, but he's willing to take less risks than jeongguk. outside of himself, jeongguk knows that's probably a good thing. but he's still ruled by his own emotion and his emotion says he wants to marry min fucking yoongi.

"i'm sorry, jeongguk," says yoongi. "i want us to be together properly, too. i want us to get married and live together and go out on dates and everything, but it's just... there's too much risk involved with all of that. i know the intimate details of how the government deals with bonded soulmates. and fuck, i work for the government. they have ways of figuring this shit out. if they know we're together, they'll kill us without a second thought."

"but what kind of life is this?" asks jeongguk. "what kind of relationship is one spent entirely in fear and hiding? i know we have to do that. i don't want to die, either, but hyung, we can—we can do so much. there are ways we can be protected. the rebels—"

"we're not becoming rebels, jeongguk."

"i didn't say that. i'm just saying that the rebels don't just fight with the government. they're the ones who have set up these communities and programs to be able to help and care for bonded soulmates who just want to exist in peace. we can take advantage of that. we have options." jeongguk sighs. "i just don't want to spend the rest of my life locked in a house waiting to see if you'll actually come home from work or not."

"i don't know how to give you what you want while also keeping us safe."

it's not fair. this is the one truth jeongguk has learned about life. nothing is fair. his heart is forever at war with his mind, deciding between what he wants and what he knows is good for him. for so long, jeongguk has played nice, has kept his voice and opinions to himself when faced with more powerful people who treat him like dirt. and now when it comes to the most important part of his life—his soulmate—he wants nothing more than to finally say fuck the government once and for all.

but he hates that yoongi is right. this isn't a matter of getting bad reviews on his family's restaurant and not having enough food for the week. one wrong step and both he and yoongi could pay for it with their lives.

yoongi can sense it—he can always sense it with jeongguk, damn their soulmate bond—and gets up from his chair, rounding the desk before pulling a reluctant jeongguk up and into a warm hug. jeongguk lets out a wobbly sigh, hunching over and turning his face into yoongi's neck as he lets yoongi's hands roam up and down his back.

"i just want to be with you," jeongguk mumbles, hating the way his voice cracks in the middle.

"i know, baby," whispers yoongi. "and we will be together properly, somehow. we'll figure it out as we go. but for right now, we need to be really careful. we need to be smart. and with my job—"

"then get a new job," jeongguk says. "they're watching you because you work for them, but if you didn't work for them, we could eliminate half of the problem."

"i can't just get a new job—"

"why not? you said they trust you. if you just made a really passionate plea for some other job, i bet they'd let you." he pulls back, still standing in the circle of yoongi's arms, and frowns down at him. "i know they're watching you and everything, but you've never given them a reason to suspect you for anything, right? and—you working that job is bullshit now, anyway."

"i don't want to work for them anymore," yoongi agrees. "the idea of going into the office and inventing technology to kill soulmates now is horrifying to me. but i don't know how easily i can just leave."

"but i have a point, don't i?"

yoongi nearly rolls his eyes. "yes, you have a point. they do trust me and although they expect life-long loyalty, i might be able to convince them to let me go if i have really good reasons. and... if i give them some other promise of loyalty in return?"

"like?"

"i don't know yet. but if i figure it out, this could work." yoongi has wanted to work with sea creatures his entire life. maybe he has a chance now—and he'll never truly be out of the government's clutches, but distancing himself by somehow being able to leave his job would give them a barrier of protection. if yoongi is afraid about even going into work and being caught, he can't go to work. and helping the government kill soulmates is a whole other issue to begin with.

jeongguk kisses the space right between yoongi's eyes, at the perfect height for it like this. "this is a lot," he admits. "and it's scary. and i don't want to die."

"so let's be really careful," says yoongi. "we'll take it one step at a time. for now, let's just... do what we were doing before—we lay low and don't go out in public together often, hide our soulmarks, and don't draw attention. we'll work on the house and the job and everything else. but for now, we can just be together here, right? you'll be okay with that?"

it's never going to be fully what jeongguk wants. but at the root of everything jeongguk wants is yoongi, and if this is how he has yoongi, he's never going to be upset about it. so with a sigh, he wraps his arms around yoongi's shoulders, pulling him for another hug. "this is the fucking worst," he says. "why can't the powers that be just let us be happy together? why all the killing and politics and shit?"

"i don't know," says yoongi. "but we'll make the most of it. we should do a crash course on how to keep from inciting suspicion, though, because you and i both know you have a big mouth and this stuff—"

"hyung," jeongguk scoffs, has to giggle because it's kind of true, but when he opens his mouth to tease yoongi back, what comes out is, "your phone is going to ring in a few seconds."

he feels yoongi freeze. "what?"

jeongguk pulls away, brows furrowed. "your... phone is going to ring?" he repeats, hesitant as he tries to figure out where that even came from. he had no intention on saying that and it's an odd thing to say anyway, but suddenly, he just... knows that the statement is true. he knows this fact the way he knows that he is twenty-three years old and yoongi is his soulmate: yoongi's phone is going to ring.

yoongi is staring at him like he's grown a second head. "why would you sa—" he begins, but he's interrupted by buzzing. simultaneously, their eyes shift to the desk, where yoongi's phone is sitting and currently vibrating. the screen shows an incoming call from yoongi's office. his phone is ringing.

the moment jeongguk truly understands this, he practically tears himself out of yoongi's grip, stumbling back a few steps as he stares at the phone with his hands hovering near his mouth. "what the fuck," he whispers.

"how did you do that?" yoongi demands, not even bothering to answer his phone. "how did you know that was going to happen?"

"i don't know!" shrieks jeongguk. he looks down at his hands like they'll somehow reveal the truth. "what is happening to me?"

it takes a second, but then yoongi says, "that's not the first time you've done that."

"i don't remember predicting your phone would ring before," jeongguk says, but when he looks at yoongi, the other man looks vaguely excited rather than as confused and terrified as jeongguk feels.

"yesterday—remember? i was cooking something and you said i was going to burn it. and i did."

"that was me teasing you about being a shit cook!"

"but you were convinced i was going to burn it. weren't you?" the idea makes jeongguk uncomfortable, because yoongi is right. when he'd made the comment, it had been out of mirth rather than conviction, but he remembers being entirely convinced that yoongi would burn the food without any prior indications that it would happen.

which means—"holy fuck," gasps jeongguk, hands flying to his mouth as he stares at yoongi, wide-eyed. already, yoongi's expression is brightening as they seem to come to the same conclusion. "you don't think—?"

"here," says yoongi, reaching for one of the books on his desk. "which page am i going to open it to?"

jeongguk stares at him in bewilderment. "i don't know," he says, but the moment he speaks, he realizes he does know. yoongi lets the book fall open as jeongguk whispers, "two hundred and seventeen." yoongi lets out a delighted laugh, turning the book around so jeongguk can see the tiny number on the top of the page: 217.

"it's a fluke," says jeongguk, but yoongi is already shoving the book on the desk and reaching into his pocket. when he takes it out, there's a coin in his hand.

"heads or tails?" he asks before he flips the coin into the air, and jeongguk doesn't want to know this one, but he just does, the knowledge of the outcome coming to him. yoongi catches the coin, slapping it down onto the back of his hand, and jeongguk lets out a quiet, "tails," before yoongi lifts his hand to reveal... jeongguk is right.

"i had a fifty-fifty chance with that," jeongguk protests, but there's something giddy beginning to fill him up, the idea that this—this—

"jeongguk," laughs yoongi, approaching him and taking jeongguk's face into his hands. "jeongguk, i think you can predict the future."

"it was just a phone," jeongguk says, "and a book and a coin. it's—it's nothing."

"it's only been a few days. don't these abilities get stronger as time goes on? as you learn how to control them and figure out what you can do?"

jeongguk swallows tightly. in all honesty, the superhuman ability part of bonding with his soulmate has escaped him for the past few days. but now that he's reminded of it, he feels his fingers tingling again, like when he first bonded with yoongi. it does take a few days for the abilities to show up, and then longer for the soulmate to be able to control them. for years, he fantasized about what his ability would be according to his soulmark.

and he hates that it does make sense, if this is his true ability: his and yoongi's soulmarks are eyes and the eyes are clocks. now it feels a bit on the nose, being able to 'see' the future, predict time in all of its complexities. it wasn't anything that he had imagined, admittedly. but it's pretty cool.

slowly, the confusion and his protests melt away. "you really think that's it?" he asks quietly.

"yes," replies yoongi. "how does it work? can you actually see what's going to happen?" he pauses and then steps away from jeongguk, looking around the room carefully before he grabs his laptop and places it in jeongguk's hands. "tell me what's going to happen to this laptop."

it doesn't happen the way jeongguk expects—he doesn't close his eyes and see what's going to happen. he has no images of the laptop on the desk or yoongi taking it to work. instead, what comes to him is simple knowledge. understanding. all at once, he's simply aware of the short-term future of the laptop, not a question or thought but a full-bodied understanding of the future. he knows without a doubt. "later, it's going to be used to answer your work emails. tomorrow, someone's going to watch a movie on it, but it'll die in the middle because it wasn't charged overnight. after that—" he blinks. "i don't know after that."

yoongi is beaming at him.

"we don't know if it'll actually happen," begins jeongguk. "but i just... i know it will. how do i know it will?"

"you can only predict about a day right now, but maybe it'll get stronger as time goes on. that's crazy."

"holy shit."

"what about people?" asks yoongi. "predict something you'll do later."

jeongguk's mind goes completely blank. even though he can control his own actions, he tries to know the exact moment he'll fall asleep, the time he'll wake up, anything—but nothing comes to him, not like it did with the laptop or coin or book. he frowns. "i can't," he says. "it doesn't work on people. or—maybe just me?"

yoongi lets out a little giggle. he might be more excited about this than jeongguk is, which is—strange and wonderful and refreshing after how hesitant he's been with the rest. jeongguk is well aware that the easiest way to catch a bonded soulmate is to look for the signs of a superhuman ability; in this way, jeongguk had hoped for something that would be easy to hide, something that would be hard to pick out of a crowd. and now yoongi is grabbing his hand and pulling him out of the room, down the hallway, thundering down the stairs to the ground floor of the house.

he drags jeongguk into the living room, grabbing the remote and pointing it at the television before asking, "what channel is going to be on?"

"sports," says jeongguk immediately. "but it's a car commercial for hyundai palisade—you know, the one with those idols you like making fun of?" the moment he says it, yoongi turns on the television, and just as jeongguk predicted, just as he knew, the screen shows one of those car commercials that yoongi always makes fun of when they come on. it's the one where three of the idols are trying to make a tent and failing spectacularly.

yoongi laughs and doesn't even bother to make fun of it before he's tossing the remote on the sofa and pulling jeongguk into the kitchen instead. "hyung," he huffs, but yoongi is busy looking for something else he can make jeongguk predict. "hyung—wait. what about yours?"

"what about mine?" asks yoongi, rifling through the fridge.

"your ability is meant to be complimentary to mine. what if you can like, predict something, too? or do something with—the past, maybe?"

"how do you predict the past, jeongguk?"

"i don't know, i was ju—hyung, look out!" he snaps. yoongi turns around, bewildered at jeongguk's warning when nothing immediately happens, but jeongguk lunges just in time for one of the glass bottles on a shelf in the fridge to get knocked over by the rifling yoongi is doing. he catches it as it goes tumbling out of the fridge and toward the ground, keeping it from smashing on the ground.

when he straightens, yoongi's eyes are bright. "holy shit, that's so cool," he says. "and useful! even in little ways, like—like keeping things from falling out of the fridge."

jeongguk places the bottle back in the fridge. right now, it feels like the knowledge is coming at him in spurts even when he doesn't want it to, so he hopes that he can learn how to turn it off. he doesn't need to know every mundane detail of the future of that goddamn bottle just by looking at it. although—"another palisade commercial is going to come on next."

"again?" asks yoongi. "but why? they're so stupid."

"people like idols, hyung."

"well i don't want that commercial to come on. how about that?"

jeongguk can only snort as he turns around to peer into the living room and at the still-running television, mentally counting down the seconds before the car appears again with a new set of idols. except—when the current commercial about some restaurant finishes and the next starts, it's not the car commercial.

jeongguk blinks at the television. but that—doesn't make sense. he knew the commercial would come on the way knew yoongi would flip a tails and the bottle would fall from the fridge, knew it with a certainty he's never felt in anything else. so why is he watching a commercial about face masks and not cars?

behind him, yoongi is now opening and closing cupboards in search of things for jeongguk to predict as he says, "you know what i'd really like to see? that cereal bar commercial—ah fuck, i can't remember what company it's for anymore, but this woman's bored at work and then she eats a cereal bar and starts dancing everywhere. it's so stupid but i wish it worked like that when i'm bored at work. that commercial should come on. i love it so much."

when jeongguk turns back to television, he sees a woman in red eating a cereal bar and dancing around her office. jeongguk has never seen the commercial yoongi is talking about, but he has a strange feeling about it. he turns back to yoongi, eyes widening slightly before he asks, as casually as possible, "hey, yoongi-hyung, do you have die anywhere?"

"jeongguk, i'm trying to test your future-predicting abilities here. predict where the dice in my house will be at this moment."

"that's not how this works."

"one of those drawers," yoongi answers, gesturing vaguely toward the island in the middle of the kitchen. "even i have a junk drawer."

when jeongguk finds a die, he stares at it for a second and knows immediately what number he'll roll—three. but first, he asks, "what number do you want me to roll?"

yoongi glances over his shoulder. "what does that matter?"

"humour me."

"fine—a three?" raising an eyebrow, jeongguk throws the die and, sure enough, it lands on a three. which might have been a fluke, since jeongguk already knew it would happen.

so he picks up the die again. "another number." this time, he knows—it'll be a six.

"one," replies yoongi.

jeongguk throws the die.

it lands on a one.

jeongguk opens his mouth and then lets it snap shut again, staring at the lonely snake eye number. but—jeongguk knew it would be a six. he predicted that future, and in all of their little tests, he's never been wrong. so how could yoongi have simply wanted the die to land on one and have that happen? how could he just change that?

but he changed the commercial, too. simply because he wanted it. he changed the probability of the die landing on a six—or on any of the other numbers. somehow, he made sure the die landed on a one instead. and maybe he had something to do with jeongguk finding the dice in the first drawer he opened.

"aha!" yoongi explains, turning around with a small stack of plates. "this'll be—what?" he stops when he sees jeongguk's expression. "did i do something?"

"i get it," says jeongguk with a slow smile spreading over his lips. "i can predict the future, but you can manipulate the probability of that future happening."

yoongi stares at him. "what does that mean?"

"i knew i would roll a six," he says, pointing at the die on the island. "but you wanted it to be a one instead, so it became a one. but when i saw a three and you wanted a three, it happened. same thing with the commercials. i think you can kind of... warp reality to make something happen or not happen."

"what, just by wanting it?" asks yoongi.

"i don't know! but how else can we explain any of this?"

a beat, and then yoongi says, "your fly is undone."

"no, it's—" jeongguk looks down and. oh. he looks back up. "did you do that on purpose?"

"i wanted to see how it works," says yoongi. "i just... decided your fly would be down and i looked and it was. it's not like i saw it change, but it—it was always that way." jeongguk honestly can't remember if it was, but maybe they can get into the specifics of this later.

he laughs now, delighted. "it makes perfect sense! i can predict the future, but you can either make sure that future happens or doesn't happen. it's a perfect combination. if i know that something bad is going to happen, you can manipulate reality so it doesn't or vice versa. i can predict the future but can't change it if i don't like it and you can change the future but can't predict it to know if it needs to be changed. we make each other whole." thinking of their tattoos, he remembers the swirling of the clock face, letting them know that time and even the future isn't certain—not to mention the numbers of the clock being all ones and all sixes respectively, like dice. probability.

"that seems like a lot of power i don't really want to have."

"maybe it's not that big," says jeongguk. "there's probably a limit to the size of things you can manipulate—like maybe you can't stop someone from dying, but you can make sure someone will go—" jeongguk gasps, a new thought coming to him. "hyung, if this is—if this is really what we can do, we can make it. we can make sure we don't get caught."

yoongi puts down the plates he was still somehow holding. "how?"

"i don't know if i can predict the future of a human, but if i can, then i'll know what's supposed to happen with you and your job and the house and everything," says jeongguk. "and if it's not something we like, you can change it. just—just little things. you can make sure that your boss lets you go and get a new job. you can make sure we get the house we want. just subtle things, you know, that tip the future in our favour. and if things are going the way we want them without you having to mess with them—which i'll know—then we can just let things happen."

oh, it's such power that jeongguk has never had before. the government has always been so afraid of bonded soulmates using their abilities to fight the system and win the war, but this is what they should really be afraid of—two soulmates who are in love and have the power to bend reality in their favour. they'll never know what's coming and it won't even be about fighting or taking down the government.

jeongguk and yoongi are going to get their goddamn happy ending. and this is how they're going to do it.

yoongi seems to think on it for a second. they can easily let this get to their heads and do terrible things with it, but jeongguk doesn't want to do anything big. he just wants to make sure they can be safe and now he can. finally, yoongi grins at him. they still have a long way to go and a lot to figure out with their relationship, but for right now, there's something wonderful about learning and growing together.

"hyung!" beams jeongguk. "we're superhuman!" he darts around the island to laugh into yoongi's arms, kissing him before he feels yoongi smack his ass. "knew you were going to do that."

"because you're a fucking seer or because you know i like smacking your butt anyway? it's so juicy." yoongi darts out of the way as jeongguk tries to swat him, lunging after him as yoongi laughs and turns to run toward the living room and jeongguk runs after him. he only gets partway before he suddenly trips, stumbling as he looks back to see one of yoongi's potted plants mysteriously in the way. had it been there all along and jeongguk simply hadn't seen it? isn't that plant normally not in that spot?

yoongi cackles again. "hyung!" jeongguk shrieks, chasing after him. "that's not fair!"

"there are no rules in this game, jeongguk," he laughs. "only power and those too weak to seek it."

"you're the worst—" but jeongguk is laughing and delighted and oh, he doesn't think he's ever felt like this: like there is finally something good. like there is finally something right. like maybe he and yoongi will be alright in the end, after all, even if they have to reach into the heart of the world and carve out a place for themselves.