A | ●▬
But when you call me baby
I know I'm not the only one
"Um, can I-I speak first?"
While speaking, she snuck a peek at Irene from under her eyelashes. Then, she lowered her gaze again in panic.
She fiddled with her hands. It seemed like she was so nervous that she didn't know what to do with herself.
This was rather strange.
In their four years together, Lisa usually only agreed with whatever Irene said. She had practically never made any requests, not to mention fighting to speak first. Irene found this new experience interesting. And, she was in a great mood, so didn't think too much of it. She nodded.
"Okay, then you speak first."
Lisa squeezed her lips together. She swallowed, then suddenly bowed at Irene. "Irene sunbae, thank you for taking care of me all these years."
"Eh?"
Which scene in the play was this?
Irene didn't understand.
Panicked, Lisa looked up from behind her trembling eyelashes to glance at Irene. Her hands, which were clasped together, turned pale with how hard she was squeezing.
"Just......um......originally, we only signed a three year contract. Earlier, we had reached the deadline, but didn't renew the contract...... Now that Chaeyoung's back, I don't need to give her money anymore. So I......"
Belatedly, Irene understood.
The smile froze on her face. The longer she listened, the darker her expression got.
How comical.
While she had been feeling hesitant and planning a confession, someone else had been in the midst of planning a farewell.
Like usual, Lisa spoke while sneaking glances at Irene. Upon noticing that the other's expression kept getting darker and darker, her voice also started getting shakier and quieter. Ultimately, she didn't manage to finish.
Irene's expression was like the sky right before a summer thunderstorm. Dark clouds hung dangerously. The furrow between her brows was extremely noticeable.
Lisa belatedly recalled that some drama or book seemed to have mentioned that the young masters of rich families were all very prideful. Only they were allowed to dump others; others were never allowed to dump them.
The phone call in the middle of the night. The familiar tone while speaking. The question of "apartment or villa." A whole three hours. The unfamiliar but strong fragrance on her body upon her return. And the scratch marks. Those scratch marks. Normally, even if there really was something going on, the other wouldn't need to leave marks in such an obvious location. Lisa didn't even dare to imagine how many more marks were on other parts of Irene...
Additionally, Irene's complete lack of disdain towards them seemed to be allowing their presence.
She had been clearly by Irene's for so many years, but still didn't dare to leave any marks on Irene's body. She knew that this was the countdown that she had feared all this time. When one relied on their looks to attract someone, love would fade along with appearance.
This was true in historical and modern times, nationally and internationally.
Only, she hadn't thought that the death knell would start ringing so soon. Someone as gentle as Irene could also be so resolute as to not even leave her time for a meal.
Should she describe the other as to the point......or cruel......
Or perhaps, in the world of the wealthy, the transition from old to new was exactly like this.
These past few years, she had seen it happen a lot. She knew that one day, it would be her turn too. She thought that she had mentally prepared herself enough. But, when the moment was finally here, her head was still empty. Surprisingly, she couldn't even feel any pain.
She only felt the need to be even harsher to herself. She feared that Irene would find her overly clingy. She feared that she would hear Irene using that familiar voice to say something cruel.
By Irene's side, Lisa had witnessed many separations: dragged out ones, sorrowful ones, extremely dramatic ones. She would hear Irene and her friends discussing these with exasperated and tired tones over a cup of tea after a meal. She wasn't willing to be like those individuals. She didn't want to turn into a piece of gum stuck to the bottom of someone's shoe, becoming a topic of gossip that caused one to furrow their brows.
If she was fated to leave today, she chose to leave neatly and respectably. If possible, she wanted to do her best and leave a beautiful last impression.
In actuality, though, nonchalance and composure were both very difficult.
Lisa was covered by Irene's shadow. The stove top was behind her. She didn't even have any place to retreat to; she was truly stuck. She could only silently stand in place, clearly feeling the deepest part of her soul slowly start to die.
She heard Irene's voice ask, "Are you being serious?"
This was the final judgement.
In panic, Lisa quickly nodded. Another pause later, she heard Irene calmly say, "Fine."
While taking a step to the side and clearing out a path for Lisa.
Lisa couldn't be bothered to care about anything else. She kept her head lowered and ran out like she was escaping from something. She feared that if she stayed even a moment longer, she wouldn't be able to stop herself from crying.
When she had exhausted all her energy, she stopped at a nearby bus station. She felt that her head hurt, her nose was sour, the rims of her eyes were warm, and her heart was racing. However, no tears fell. She suddenly remembered that when she wasn't by Irene's side, it was actually really hard for her to cry.
In practically the instant that Lisa closed the door, Irene immediately fell onto the ice cold floor of the kitchen, legs weak.
This could be considered a rare moment of failure in the domineering big artist's life.
The maid heard the commotion and hurriedly rushed over. She got shooed away by Irene. Irene leaned back and rested her head against the door of the cabinet. She pressed a hand against her chest and took deep breaths.
The world was spinning around her. Things faded away and slowly disappeared. She heard her own erratic breathing, heard the rushed flow of blood through her veins, heard the strange cackling sounds as a gory impulse escaped from the hidden corners of her heart. She was using all of her energy to control herself and keep herself in place instead of chasing out the door and doing something cruel to Lisa that would break through the lower limits of human morality.
After an unknown amount of time, the world around her finally returned to normal.
Irene held onto the doorknob of the kitchen cabinet and slowly stood up. Her hands and feet were numb, her limbs were stiff, and her entire body was ice cold. She could hear the wails and complaints of her muscles, tendons, and bones with each tiny movement. Only the act of "standing still" had practically expended all the energy saved up in her body.
She stood in place in a daze.
A long time later, she finally remembered to shift her sore eyes.
Thus, she saw the food that Lisa had made for her, still on the stove. They were still steaming hot: century egg and pork congee, handmade steamed twisted rolls, crystal shrimp dumplings......
These were all the breakfast foods that she had said were her "favorite."
●●●▬
Lisa didn't remember how she returned to her dorm.
Fortunately, it was summer break. Her roommates had either already take days off or gone home. Otherwise, it would be quite difficult to explain her depressed state. She had been guaranteed a position as a team B at this company, which meant that she could absolutely spend half of her summer break in this dorm room if she want to.
Only, this dorm room......
As soon as she looked up, she discovered the sketches of Irene's body glued to her desk.
This was a little trick she could play because she was an art student.
She could hide the person she liked in plain view, where everyone could see her.
The sketch in the middle was a close-up of Irene's back. The lines of her spine were elegantly extended. Lisa lifted a hand and caressed it. She remembered how nervous she had been as she had held her breath and snuck a picture of Irene for this drawing.
Actually, in order to draw Irene, she had secretly taken many photos of the other from different angles. These photos were in a hidden, locked folder on her computer. She never dared to let anyone else know about them and only secretly unlocked and looked at them while alone. Because of this, she never even dared to get her computer fixed when it broke. Instead, she had learned computer repair skills by herself.
Not only computer repair skills.
For Irene, she had learned exquisite culinary skills, massage techniques, a bit of French and Russian, how to stretch herself...... and a bunch of other random stuff that she had never even thought about before.
Perhaps she really had withstood the corrosion of luxury.
But what use was this?
Irene alone was much scarier than everything extravagant in the world added together. Her gentle, deep voice; her controlled yet teasing jokes; her warm breath tickling the back of Lisa's ears; the cautious but irrefusable feeling of being touched; the marks left on her skin; the hard, hot object breaching the innermost part of her body.
In actuality, she had stopped belonging to herself a long time ago.
Lisa heaved out a long sigh. The rims of her eyes felt warm, but she still couldn't cry.
She was also always so greedy, dreaming about things outside of her capabilities: those wonders that were untouchable. When she had felt untalented, she had wished to become closer with a genius by providing financial support for Rosé; when she had lacked money, she had wished to gain wealth by pleasing Irene.
In actuality, how could there be so many shortcuts to success in this world? There was only temporary luck.
And everlasting punishment.
Finally, she was the same as she had been when she had started. Hands empty. She no longer had anything.
Oh, that wasn't right. She still had her memories.
Should this be considered fortunate or unfortunate?
Almost four years. A time that felt so long that it seemed she wouldn't even be able to look back and see the beginning while on tiptoe. However, it was also so short that it had passed in merely the blink of an eye. She had been in a romantic relationship that would never start; she had learned a universally known concept. In your youth, you shouldn't encounter anyone too wonderful.
She was only twenty two years old, but her soul had already died. She was destined to slowly live out the rest of her existence alone. Trapped in her greedy sins.
Waiting for the disappearance of her physical body to take away all those unspeakable secrets. Waiting for true death to offer her a dark and silent forgiveness.
Never in her wildest dreams had Lisa expected to receive a phone call from Irene's butler.
Her body trembled in fear, something might be happen.
▬ 15 ▬
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the last part I wrote because suddenly Wildest Dreams is now playing in my computer.
By any chance, if there's swifties, annyeong...!
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