𝟎𝟏 - 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐢𝐩𝐡𝐨𝐧𝐞!
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CHAPTER ONE - NOT MY NEW IPHONE!
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< "𝐈 𝐒𝐄𝐄 𝐈𝐓, 𝐈 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐈𝐓, 𝐈 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓 𝐈𝐓, 𝐈 𝐆𝐎𝐓 𝐈𝐓," >
【$$$】
Japanese: Underlined
English: Regular
【$$$】
...
Oh my God... my head hurts...
Where the hell.... why is it so cold? Am I dead?
So... truck-kun got to me, huh? Well. I hope it was at least a fancy semi that hit me and not a 2000s pickup truck... ew.
Okay, but seriously, why was it so cold? [Name's] eyes snapped open.
She sat up, looking around. She saw nothing but snow and coniferous trees that towered over her.
Holy... I don't think I'm in New York City anymore...
It was almost pitch-black dark, and the woman couldn't see anything that was in front of her. She squinted still.
Wait.
"SHIT! MY IPHONE 15 PRO MAX! WHERE IS IT?!" [Name] patted herself down, checking every pocket of her lavish outfit.
Her phone wasn't in any of them.
DAMMIT! Dad's gonna throw a fit... actually, he might not care, because I get a new iPhone every time a new one comes out, so...
WAIT! MY GUCCI TOTE BAG!
[Name] frantically looked around her, moving snow out of the way, desperately trying to find her purse. Her fingers were getting numb, but she didn't care.
Her hands brushed against some leather.
"YES! YES YES YES YES YES!" She cried, holding her purse close and crying. She grabbed the gold zipper and opened it.
Inside was her emergency makeup kit, her laptop, her iPad pro, some snacks, chargers, and her phone.
YAYAYAYAYAYAYAY OMG OMG YES YES YES!
The woman quickly took her phone and powered it on.
...
Huh? Why isn't it turning on? This thing is brand new?
She tapped her phone against her hand a few times.
WHAT THE SHIT? WHY WASN'T IT WORKING?
She put her phone away and pulled out her iPad. She did the same thing, powered it on.
Nothing.
Then she took her laptop and turned it on.
Nothing.
NO NO NO NO NO! How am I supposed to survive without my phone and my other shit?! No Snapchat, Instagram, I can't make any more Tiktoks showing off my closet...
WAIT WAIT WAIT!
She wasn't even sure if she was in America anymore! Maybe Canada? Greenland?
A cold wind blew past, and the (h/c)-haired girl shivered.
Okay, first things first. Find shelter.
She hoped that she was in Canada. She was fluent in French and Spanish, so if she was there, she could get by, and find her way back.
She gathered her things and began walking.
It had been snowing in NYC, so she had her laiche parka on. It was still cold as shit, though.
Her boots crunched beneath the snow, unbeknownst to [Name], masking the noise of a creature following her.
She stopped. The noise stopped. [Name] turned around.
"..."
"..."
"AHHHHHH WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU?!" The woman shrieked and fell backwards, crawling away from the demon. "GET AWAY FROM ME, ASSFACE!"
"What the fuck are you saying?" It responded, confused as it circled the terrified girl, "No matter, you'll still make a delicious snack!"
[Name] screamed again, throwing snow in the demon's face, and while he was distracted she took the chance and started running.
Okay, okay, that was definitely NOT French or Spanish.
What the hell is that thing? And what was it even saying?
[Name] didn't care. She just wanted to get away from whatever creature was chasing her. She looked behind her, and almost threw up at the thing's crazed grin and beady red eyes.
Gross.
It leaped high into the air, claws extended.
NOOOO! Am I about to die? Again?
She closed her eyes and braced for impact, waiting for the cold, sharp claws to rake across her face, for sharp teeth to sink into her flesh.
"Flower Breathing, Fourth Form, Crimson Hanagoromo."
A gust of wind, then nothing. [Name's] eyes fluttered open and she looked to her left.
The demon's severed head was lying next to her, beady eyes staring into her soul as the demon's head crumbled.
"AHHHHHH WHAT THE HELL? EW EW EW!" She scooted away from the head, watching as it and the body turned to dust.
Wait. What killed it? Or rather... whom?
Footsteps crunched along the snow, and [Name] curiously turned towards the sound.
"I'm so sorry I'm a bit late, such inadequacies almost cost you your life. Are you alright?" A light voice said.
HUH? What did she just say? [Name] got almost none of that. Except that last part.
I think she said... daijobu? Doesn't that mean "Are you okay"? So that means she's...
The realization hit her like a ton of bricks. This woman... she was speaking Japanese... that means that...
I'm in Japan...
OOOHHHHH, JAPAN?! I've always wanted to go there! I've begged Mom and Dad but they always said "some other time, [Name]," but now I'm actually here!
[Name] had a giddy smile on her face.
Hehehehehe...
"Young lady? Are you alright?" The voice said again, and [Name] looked up.
The lady's light purple eyes stared back at her, long, elegant black hair swayed in the wind. She had a butterfly haori on, as well as a dark purple uniform. She had her hand on the hilt of her sword as she looked worriedly down at [Name].
Holy shit. She's hot. Not as hot as me, though.
NEW LOVE INTEREST UNLOCKED - KANAE KOCHO
FAVORABILITY - 0%
It's... she's... Kanae?! SHE'S ALIVE? WHAT?
[Name] stood up, staring Kanae dead in the eyes.
"Um. Hi." She said, picking up her tote bag, "I'm... okay..." She spoke slowly while doing motions so that Kanae could understand her.
But it was no use. A worried frown grew on her face as she furrowed her eyebrows.
"I... I don't understand you... could you speak in Japanese, please?" Kanae asked.
"What?" [Name] asked, "What are you saying? Yo hablo inglés!"
Kanae looked even more confused. She scanned [Name] up and down, taking in the odd clothes the woman was wearing, as well as the bag.
She isn't giving off the aura of a demon...
But I can't understand her... it sounds like she's speaking in gibberish...
I can't leave her here... it's cold, and she's clearly a foreigner with nowhere to go... I have another mission, what should I do...?
It was decided.
"Follow... me." Kanae gestured to herself, then made a walking motion with her fingers. [Name] lit up at this.
"Yes!" She exclaimed, "I'll go with you!"
She smiled, making Kanae feel slightly warm inside. The two then walked for a while, trying to communicate better on the way, heading to a nearby wisteria house, where they stopped. It was a little warmer, and there was no snow, so [Name] took her coat off.
"We'll stop here," Kanae said, opening the gates to the house. They both stepped through, [Name] seeing a kind old woman sweeping the engawa.
Oh, a little cottage! How cute! Could use a makeover, though. It looks cheap as hell. [Name] looked around.
"Hello!" Kanae said to the old woman, "This young lady is lost. I believe that she's a foreigner, since she doesn't speak Japanese, I was hoping you could help her out?" She smiled, putting her hands together in a pleading motion.
The old woman stopped sweeping and looked at [Name], who fixed her long, curly hair and brushed her outfit, checking it for any wrinkles.
Gotta look presentable.
"Ah, I see..." the old woman said to Kanae, then spoke to [Name].
"Would you happen to speak English, dear?"
It took some time for [Name] to register what she said. Her head snapped up after a few seconds. "Uh, YES? You... you're fluent in English?"
The woman's Japanese accent was evident, but [Name] still knew what she was saying. The lady nodded. "Yes... I do. It is not often that I speak it, so forgive me if I make any mistakes. I am Hisa." She introduced.
[Name] shook her head, just glad that she ran into someone who spoke at least one of the three languages that she knew. "No, it's okay! Really. Thank you."
Kanae smiled, despite not knowing what the other two were saying, but noticing that they seemed to be in understanding. Then [Name] turned to her.
"Thank you!" She said, her Japanese sounding... decent. Kanae beamed in understanding.
"You're very welcome!" She responded, Hisa translating, "Please, stay safe."
KANAE KOCHO; FAVORABILITY - 3%
They waved goodbye, the woman leading [Name] inside, to where she received her own room.
"I will gather you some clothing," Hisa smiled, "I will be back in a small moment."
[Name] nodded, Hisa slowly sliding the door closed. Once her footsteps faded, [Name] immediately opened her tote bag and carefully took the contents out. Everything was still brand new, of course.
She gingerly picked up her phone and pressed and held the power button. She waited and waited until...
The logo showed up, and [Name] sobbed and hugged her phone close.
Yay! Tiktok and Insta, here I come!
...
What? That was weird.
[Name's] phone battery was 95%, but the time literally read 00:00. The woman knew military time, she knew that was midnight, but while she and Kanae were descending the mountain, the sun was starting to rise.
Nothing made sense.
The girl ignored this and unlocked her phone. All her apps were still there, but there were no new notifications.
Um, excuse me? Not even a call or text from Amani? She watched me get hit by a truck.
She opened her message app and clicked on her mom's contact. She typed 'hey' and pressed send.
Not delivered, The bubble was green with the red letters underneath it.
HUH?
She checked her bars, there were none.
No service.
She decided to try calling, but that didn't work either. An automated voice said that the call couldn't go through.
By this point, [Name] was freaking out. She opened app after app, but besides gallery, camera, downloads and other essential apps like calendar and calculator, nothing was working because she had no service.
NO NO NOOOOOOO! How am I supposed to get help-
Wait.
I'm in Demon Slayer... that was obvious when I saw Kanae. Doesn't Demon Slayer take place in the early 1900s? Does that mean...
THERE'S NO TIKTOK? OR INSTAGRAM? OR FUCKING FROZEN YOGURT? OR FANCY SOFT BEDS? OR LAVISH APARTMENTS? OR ZACH?
DOES THAT MEAN I'M POOR???
Tears were streaming down [Name's] cheeks at this realization, her mascara making her look unflattering.
The door slowly slid open, Hisa carrying a futon and some clothing.
"Are you alright?" She accidentally asked in Japanese, then apologized in English.
"No." [Name] sniffed, wiping her snotty nose with her expensive outfit sleeve. The woman gently put down her items and sat down across from [Name].
"Would you like to speak about it?" She asked gently.
"Nooooooo."
"Alright then. I've prepared a futon as well as some clothes for you. If you need help changing, let me know-"
"Is it silk?" [Name] interrupted the old woman.
"Pardon?"
"The clothing. Is it silk? I fall asleep in soft nightgowns only. My dad gets nightwear in the softest silk, then it's handcrafted in India, and then-"
"We don't have that here. Just cotton kimonos." Hisa tilted her head.
Oh.
Cotton? That's for poor people. [Name] only wore silk nightwear. She couldn't be seen in cotton. No. Gross.
OMG OR POLYESTER- [Name] gagged at the thought.
She sighed deeply, not at all pleased about wearing a kimono that wasn't made of silk. She'd have to make do with it, because she was in the Taisho Era.
She thanked the woman, who bowed and left, and [Name] began figuring out how to put on her new clothes. As she was doing so, her mind started to wander.
Since she was in Demon Slayer, with... demons, she'd have to figure out how to survive. It would prove a difficult task, because she knows nothing about holding a sword.
She'd be killed and eaten in seconds. Unless she can find a slayer or a master who'd be willing to teach her a Breath Style.
Then she thought about the characters, and got a little excited. She loved every character, and she'd be lying if she said that she didn't want to meet all of them. She'd already met Kanae, mind wandering to how the woman sounded when she screamed.
Or moaned.
ANYWAY, she wondered what point in time in the anime she was in. Was it before or after the Mount Natagumo arc? Mugen Train? Entertainment District? It made her head hurt wondering.
She'd already read the manga, and then some, into the Kimetsu Gakuen. So if she was at any point in time before or after defeating Muzan, she'd know.
One thing was for certain, she was going to learn to kick ass, then fuck around with the characters afterwards.
She needed to at least defend herself. There were bad people in the Taisho Era. Poor people. And Muzan, of course, but he was rich.
Douma was rich too, wasn't he? He had a whole ass cult to himself, after all. The pillars were rich too, they get a shit ton of money for slaying demons.
Well well well. [Name] tapped her fingers together with a sly smile.
She figured that she'd find a way back home, and also try to get with someone who had a lot of money so that she wouldn't live like a homeless person in the alleyways of NYC.
It was settled. She'd become a gold digger to find her way back home. It'd be okay, because she was a foreigner and people would want to help foreigners. Yep yep yep.
As she climbed into her futon and settled in, she realized that she couldn't sleep for long, because it was morning. She didn't care, she was tired as hell. As she started to drift off to sleep, there was a knock at her door.
She sat up, extremely unamused. "What?" She called, Hisa opening the door.
"We have visitors."
Huh? Visitors?
[Name] got up, fixed her kimono so that her cleavage would slightly show, not a bunch though, and elegantly stalked out of the room, following the other woman.
Oh. My. Word.
3 NEW LOVE INTERESTS UNLOCKED
TANJIRO KAMADO
FAVORABILITY -- 0%
ZENITSU AGATSUMA
FAVORABILITY -- 0%
INOSUKE HASHIBIRA
FAVORABILITY -- 0%
Well damn.
【$$$】
< 𝐓𝐀𝐈𝐒𝐇𝐎 𝐄𝐑𝐀 𝐒𝐄𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐓𝐒 >
- Kanae hopes to see [Name] again, as she thought she was interesting
- The old woman is also fluent in Spanish and German (headcannon)
- [Name] doesn't care if her phone doesn't work; she still gets to flex her wealth
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{ The only thing I changed was Kanae living. Everything else is mostly the same. }
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