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Muichiro used his elbow and hit Tanjiro square in the stomach.
"Ah!" Tanjiro gasped, stumbling back.
"You're weaker than I thought. I'm surprised you even made it into the Corps," Muichiro muttered, eyes narrowing as he shifted his gaze toward Tanjiro’s back. "That box… I can sense a strange presence. A demon, perhaps? What are you hiding in there?"
He reached out toward Nezuko’s box.
Tanjiro immediately smacked his hand away. "Don't you dare touch it!" he snapped.
Meanwhile, you had already crouched beside the masked kid and gently pulled him away from Muichiro’s shadow.
"Hey there, kiddo," you said, flashing him a warm smile.
The boy blinked, startled, before his eyes widened in awe. "H-hi!" he squeaked, cheeks going red.
"Me and my adorable cinnamon roll friend over there really need that super secret weapon, alright?" you grinned. "So could you, I don’t know, maybe hand it over before I start crying dramatically on the floor?"
Before the kid could respond, Tanjiro rushed back in, gently grabbing his shoulders. "Are you okay?! He didn’t hurt you, did he?"
"I'm fine!" the kid yelped, flailing. "Let go! I'm not giving the key to anyone! Even if you torture me!"
You raised a brow. "Okay, whoa. Torture? Drama king much?"
Muichiro’s eyes darkened.
"Do you even understand what torture training is? Even grown adults can’t handle it. You're just a child, and from the looks of it, a dumb one." His voice was as cold as the wind sweeping through the forest. "So what if it breaks? Just make another. While you waste time whining about nonsense,
people are dying. Swordsmiths don’t fight they make weapons. That’s your only use. You can’t save lives. Now give me the key."
He extended his hand again.
You smacked it without hesitation.
"The hell do you think you're doing?"
Muichiro blinked slowly, turning his empty gaze toward you. "Interfering again, huh?"
"Yeah, duh," you said, squaring up to him. "Listen, Cloudy With a Chance of Passive-Aggression, you're not just gonna yank the key from a kid like some dude in a bad villain origin story."
Tanjiro nodded beside you, still rubbing his stomach. "There’s a better way to talk to people."
Muichiro’s lips twitched maybe from annoyance, maybe from restraint. "You’re all wasting time. The key."
"Nope." You popped the ‘p.’ "You're not getting it like this. Maybe try using something called basic human decency?"
"Does that technique come with a breathing style?" Muichiro shot back flatly.
You gasped. "I could teach you my own. I call it Drama Breathing: First Form
Backtalk Barrage. Want a demo?"
For the first time, Muichiro’s brow actually twitched. He didn’t step back, but he did lower his hand, exhaling slowly.
Tanjiro took the opportunity to gently shield the kid again. “Let’s calm down. We’ll figure something out together no more fighting.”
The wind rustled through the trees above, tension thick in the air.
Muichiro stayed quiet… but he didn’t walk away.
"Why are you so mean?"
Tanjiro's voice cracked slightly, hurt flashing in his eyes.
"I'm not," Muichiro said flatly, not even looking at him.
"Even if what you said is true... swordsmiths are important!" Tanjiro stepped forward, voice rising with conviction. "They have amazing skills that are totally different from ours. Without them, we wouldn't even have swords to fight with! It's thanks to them we're able to save lives. It's true they need us, but it's also true that we need them—"
"Apologies," Muichiro interrupted, eyes finally sliding over to meet Tanjiro's. "But I don’t have time for sentimental speeches."
Tanjiro blinked, taken aback.
You, standing nearby, slowly raised an eyebrow.
"Wow," you said. "Did you major in emotional detachment or is that just natural talent?"
Muichiro looked at you blankly. "I don’t understand what you’re talking about."
"Exactly," you muttered under your breath.
The swordsmith boy still stood stiffly behind Muichiro, unsure whether he should run or just vanish into the air.
Tanjiro sighed, running a hand through his hair in frustration. "You can’t treat people like tools. That’s not how any of this works."
Muichiro turned away slightly, his expression unreadable. "Then perhaps people should stop acting useless when time is crucial."
Your mouth dropped open.
"Okay, wow. There it is. Peak mean."
"I'm being realistic," he replied.
"You're being an emotionally bankrupt fog machine."
Tanjiro gently placed a hand on your arm, silently pleading for you not to escalate. You huffed, rolling your eyes but stepping back.
Suddenly, Muichiro chopped the back of both your and Tanjiro's necks, and everything went black as you dropped to the ground.
"What should I do? I can’t carry them both down by myself!" Kotetsu panicked, pacing in frantic circles.
"I’ll carry them... as long as they don’t wake up anytime soon," the tall, masked man said calmly, stepping forward.
Just as he reached for Tanjiro, the boy’s eyes twitched.
"Ah—never mind! Their eyes are twitching! That means they’ll wake up any second. SEE YA!" the man yelped before dashing away into the forest with surprisingly light steps for someone so tall.
"Huh?! Hey!! Come back!" Kotetsu shouted after him, but he was long gone.
Tanjiro suddenly sat up with a gasp, clutching the back of his neck. "Ow... What was that for?"
"You okay?! You shouldn’t sit up that fast," Kotetsu said, rushing to his side. "You might be dizzy "
"Was Mr. Haganezuka here? Wasn’t he just here?" Tanjiro interrupted, looking around frantically.
"H-Huh? N-No! Why would he be here?" Kotetsu stammered, avoiding eye contact and staring at the sky, the trees, the dirt anywhere but Tanjiro.
Tanjiro squinted. "Wait—where’s the Hashira? Muichiro?"
The kid scratched his head sheepishly. "I… ended up giving him the key. So he took off."
Tanjiro’s eyes widened. "You what?!"
Tanjiro quickly turned to your still-snoozing form lying face-down on the grass. He crawled over and gently shook your shoulder.
"Y/n? Wake up."
You groaned. "Five more minutes… unless breakfast is ready. Then ten."
"No time for jokes," Tanjiro said with urgency. "Tokito took the key and left."
You groaned again, rolling onto your back. "The kid gave it to him? Damn it, I knew we should’ve bribed him with snacks."
"Wait… where was that man who was standing over there?" Tanjiro asked, glancing around. He meant the figure that had looked uncannily like Yoriichi.
"That was a mechanical doll!" Kotetsu explained quickly. "He needed the key to make it move."
"Mhm… So that’s why it was important to you," Tanjiro said, slowly connecting the dots. "But why does he want that doll?"
"Because it’s very special. Not only that, me—"
"It can overpower a human and it’s capable of 108 moves. It’s made for combat," you interrupted as you finally sat up, rubbing your temples.
Kotetsu blinked. "H-huh? How do you know that?"
You pointed at your head with a yawn. "I don’t know, someone talked to me about it… or maybe I read it somewhere?" You lied smoothly. In truth, your anime knowledge was doing the heavy lifting again.
Tanjiro gave you a look, clearly not buying it completely, but before anyone could question further, a loud clash rang out through the forest.
BANG!
"Looks like he’s there!! This way!" Kotetsu shouted, already scrambling toward the sound.
With a sigh, you dragged yourself to your feet. "Why is there always running in this world…" you muttered before jogging after them. Tanjiro followed close behind you.
When you all arrived, the scene was intense. Muichiro was mid-battle, gracefully dodging and striking against the towering Yoriichi Type Zero doll now fully activated and moving with six swords at once.
"Woah…" Tanjiro murmured, awe in his voice.
You stood there, hands on your hips, eyes locked on the doll.
‘𝘖𝘰𝘰 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵… 𝘠𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘪𝘤𝘩𝘪.’ you thought with a tilt of your head.
‘𝘠𝘦𝘢𝘩, 𝘺𝘦𝘢𝘩, 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳,’ Yoriichi’s voice echoed sarcastically in your mind, like an annoyed ex-boyfriend with a god complex.
‘𝘐 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘯, 𝘪𝘵 𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘢 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘴 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶, 𝘺𝘬?’ you teased mentally.
‘𝘕𝘰 𝘪𝘵 𝘥𝘰𝘦𝘴 𝘕𝘖𝘛. 𝘐𝘵 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘴 𝘶𝘨𝘭𝘺. 𝘓𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘪𝘵 𝘨𝘰𝘵 𝘥𝘳𝘰𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘺 𝘢 𝘣𝘪𝘳𝘥.’
You tried not to snort at that, eyes narrowing as Muichiro’s blade clashed once again with the doll’s. Kotetsu and Tanjiro were still focused on the mechanics of the fight, but you had zoned out completely, captivated by the thought that you were now witnessing anime canon unfold in 3D.
Suddenly, Muichiro stepped back. The doll moved unpredictably one of its swords swung toward him faster than before, but he parried it cleanly with elegant form.
"Damn," you whispered under your breath. "Okay, Twink Hashira’s got hands."
"What did you say?" Tanjiro blinked, glancing at you.
"Nothing. I said he's fast."
"That doll is using attacks I’ve never seen before…" Tanjiro murmured, stepping forward, mesmerized.
"I don’t think anyone alive has seen them before," you added, arms crossed. "It’s mimicking old styles. Stuff that was probably lost to time."
"And yet he moves like he’s already memorized them," you whispered to yourself, your gaze locked on Muichiro.
Yoriichi’s voice hummed again in your head. ‘𝘞𝘢𝘵𝘤𝘩 𝘤𝘭𝘰𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘺. 𝘠𝘰𝘶’𝘳𝘦 𝘨𝘰𝘯𝘯𝘢 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘴𝘦 𝘮𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘴.’
"Great, ghost Yoriichi giving free lessons again," you muttered.
"Y/N?" Tanjiro blinked.
"Hm?" You smiled sweetly. "Nothing! Totally normal. No voices in my head or anything."
Tanjiro gave you the most concerned look ever.
Meanwhile, Kotetsu was practically jumping in place watching the fight. “He’s learning while fighting! So fast!”
"Yeah, but…" you squinted. Something was off. Muichiro wasn’t just dodging randomly he was analyzing. Calculating.
You stepped forward slightly, watching the blade patterns. "He’s trying to break it," you said, voice low.
"Huh?" Tanjiro blinked at you.
"Not win. Break it."
Suddenly, as Muichiro continued effortlessly blocking strikes and you all kept talking, the air shifted with a loud, familiar caw.
"Well duh? What did you expect?"
You froze. Oh no.
The voice was sharp, smug, and entirely too familiar. You slowly turned your head there she was. Muichiro’s obnoxiously talkative Kasugai crow, perched on a branch just above your heads like she owned the sky.
If that bird had been your crow, you would've deep-fried her on day one.
She puffed up her chest feathers like she had something important to say, which you already knew meant trouble.
"After all!" she declared dramatically, "He's a direct descendant of the wielder of the Sun Breathing technique! He's in a completely different league than the likes of you."
And then... she started snickering.
Openly.
Your eye twitched. "Oh, you fu—"
You caught yourself, lips freezing mid-word as your eyes flicked down to Kotetsu, the small kid still standing beside you with wide, confused eyes.
You took a slow, deep breath through your nose.
Then pointed a finger right at the bird.
"Listen here, you little undisciplined feathered menace! Just because someone’s got a shiny bloodline doesn’t mean the rest of us are background characters!"
The crow blinked. You weren’t done.
"We’re all strong in different ways, okay? Some of us might be stronger, some weaker, but none of us are less worthy. So unless you wanna get plucked and served on a rice bowl, I suggest you watch your beak."
The crow stared. Then tilted her head.
"Oh? Did I strike a nerve, Miss 'Participation Trophy'?~" she cooed.
You inhaled so sharply it nearly became a gasp. "I will climb that tree. Don’t test me."
Tanjiro looked panicked. "Let’s not climb trees or cook anyone’s crow, please?!"
Kotetsu, meanwhile, was staring up at you in awe. "That was amazing… You just yelled at a Kasugai crow."
"I yell at demons too, baby boy," you said with a grin, ruffling his hair. "And sometimes, at Muichiro when he’s being annoying."
"I’m literally right here," Muichiro mumbled, not looking back.
"Exactly," you replied.
The crow let out a dramatic tsk and flapped her wings. "Well, someone’s a little too emotionally invested—"
You launched a pebble at her.
It missed. Barely.
She squawked and flew up higher into the branches, offended and still muttering under her breath.
"I’ll report this to the Master!! Harassment!! Attempted murder!!"
Tanjiro sighed, clearly used to the chaos by now. "She’s… unique."
You muttered, "She’s a menace. I’m putting birdseed laced with NyQuil next time."
Muichiro glanced over at you now, eyes half-lidded and bored. "You done embarrassing yourself?"
You smirked. "Never. Are you done pretending like you didn’t find that funny?"
His lips twitched, just a little. Almost a smile. But he turned back around quickly.
"That wasn’t funny," he said.
You looked down at Kotetsu, who was still giggling.
"It was kinda funny," he whispered.
You bumped fists with him. "That’s my boy."
"Caaw! Face it, you're just upset I'm right!" she squawked, flapping her wings mockingly in your face.
You glared so hard your eye twitched. "Oh, I am upset, but not because you're right. I'm upset because you haven't been dropkicked into another dimension yet."
The crow tilted her head with a smug little click of her beak. "Aw, is someone mad they aren't Sun-Breather blood? How tragic. Maybe next life, sweetheart."
You gasped like she just slapped your mother. "Oh, ohhh, you little feathery bitch—!"
Tanjiro quickly turned toward the kid next to him and covered their ears again.
The crow cackled like a gremlin. "I live for your anger. It gives me youth."
"You're already like 94 in bird years!"
"Caaw! Still prettier than you!"
"Oh that’s it—come down here! Say it to my face you overcooked feather duster!"
Muichiro blinked and slowly turned his head to you. "You know she's just a crow, right?"
"She knows what she did!"
The crow swooped low over your head, her wings brushing your hair just to mess with you. "Oooohh~ did that touch a nerve? Bet I could beat you in a fight."
"Oh, bet?! Come down here and catch these hands, poultry edition!"
Tanjiro raised his voice nervously. "Y/N! Please don’t fight a Kasugai crow!"
"She started it!" you yelled, pointing accusingly at her while she perched smugly on Muichiro’s shoulder.
Muichiro was unfazed. "She’s my crow. You fight her, you fight me."
You paused, staring at him.
"…Fine. I’ll emotionally fight her. I’ll roast her self-esteem so hard she’ll moult from the stress."
The crow leaned in toward you and whispered like a gossiping auntie.
"You wanna go there? Sweetheart, I’ve seen your sword form. It's giving… background character."
You made the sign of the cross, a peace sign, and then both middle fingers.
"Say goodbye to your feathers, Tweety. They’re becoming hair accessories."
The crow puffed up proudly. "Joke’s on you. I’ve always wanted to be fashion."
Muichiro tilted his head, thoughtful. "Actually... her feathers would look nice braided into your hair."
You blinked.
"Wait, what?"
Tanjiro threw his hands up. "Can we please focus on—"
The crow let out a smug caw and flapped away, calling over her shoulder.
"I win again, losers! Caaaw caaaw~!"
You looked at Muichiro. "You need a new crow."
He shrugged. "She chose me. Destiny and all that."
You grumbled and crossed your arms. "Well destiny has bad taste."
From above, faint and echoing:
"So does your haircut!"
You nearly blacked out from rage.
"Don't listen to her! Your haircut is very pretty!" Kotetsu suddenly exclaimed, puffing his cheeks as he glared in the direction the crow flew off.
You blinked, a little surprised by the outburst, before softening and patting the top of his head gently.
"Yeah, thanks kiddo," you smiled.
"But what's your name, miss? Mine’s Kotetsu!! You must be dating this guy!!" he added quickly, jabbing a finger at Tanjiro.
"Uhm ahaha, no kid," you waved your hands. "Name’s Y/N L/N. And that’s Tanjiro Kamado. We’re just friends."
Kotetsu tilted his head like he didn’t believe you.
But before the conversation could go further, Muichiro returned to his training. He moved like a silent gust, blade flashing as he struck Yoriichi Type Zero right in the chest.
A loud clang echoed as his sword hit the doll’s armor.
"His armor!!" Tanjiro gasped.
Kotetsu’s eyes widened in horror. His bottom lip quivered and then he bolted.
"Kotetsu!!" you and Tanjiro shouted in unison.
You both immediately ran after him, dodging through the trees and scattered training equipment.
"Kotetsuuuu!!!" you yelled, cupping your hands around your mouth.
"Kotetsu!!" Tanjiro called again, just as worried.
You came to a stop, panting slightly, scanning the trees and then your eyes landed on a familiar shock of hair up high.
"There he is," you said, pointing upward.
Tanjiro followed your gaze. "HAA?! How did he manage to climb up that high?!"
Sure enough, Kotetsu was perched on a long, narrow tree branch, sulking like a grumpy little bird.
"Come on," Tanjiro said, determination sparking in his eyes. "Me and Y/N will help you fix your doll!"
"Yeah right," you muttered with a sigh, cracking your knuckles before placing your hands on your hips. "I'll get you snacks!!"
Kotetsu peeked down, interest piqued. His grip on the branch loosened a little.
"Cookies," you said.
"Apple slices with cinnamon," Tanjiro added with a hopeful smile.
"Strawberry mochi," you bribed further, eyes narrowing like you were negotiating with a criminal.
The boy hesitated, clearly struggling. Finally, he pouted and mumbled, "Fine…"
You and Tanjiro grinned at each other before carefully climbing up, using the thick trunk for balance. Tanjiro went first, cautious but nimble, while you followed behind him, grumbling every few seconds.
"This better not be how I die."
"You’re doing great, Y/N!"
"Shut up before I throw you off the branch."
Once you reached Kotetsu’s level, you carefully settled beside him, leaning back against the bark while Tanjiro sat on his other side.
"Hey…" Tanjiro began gently. "It's okay to be upset. You care about the doll, and that’s good. It means your heart’s in the right place."
You crossed your arms. "And if Muichiro damages it, he’s gonna have to explain to both of us why he broke your precious robot samurai. We’ll stick up for you."
Kotetsu sniffled a little. "You promise?"
"Promise," Tanjiro nodded.
"On Nezuko’s cuteness," you added.
Tanjiro blinked. "That’s... a strong promise."
"Exactly."
A small smile pulled at Kotetsu’s lips. You reached out and messed up his hair playfully.
"Now come on, tree boy. Let’s fix your doll and get those snacks I promised."
"And maybe… teach Muichiro a little teamwork," Tanjiro added with a soft chuckle.
You all started your slow descent, one careful step at a time.
While walking…
"Really? So you're ten, Kotetsu?"
Tanjiro asked with a soft smile.
"Yeah!!" the kid chirped proudly, puffing his chest out.
"My little brother is—"
Tanjiro suddenly stopped mid-sentence, eyes narrowing ahead.
"Huh?! What? You're already done?!" he called out.
Muichiro, covered in sweat but still looking completely unaffected, walked toward them calmly.
"I'm done. That was a good training session," he said plainly. "Who are you again...? Oh, that's right. My sword snapped, so I'm taking this with me."
He casually held Yoriichi Type Zero’s wrist, the broken sword still gripped in the doll’s hand.
Kotetsu’s face twisted in horror. "N-NO!"
Without another word, he bolted away again, small arms flailing as he disappeared down the path.
You stared after him, eyes twitching.
"Oh, that’s it, Muichiro! You've officially gone too far. You’ve hurt my child for the second time!" you snapped, stepping toward him with hands on your hips.
"Child?"
Muichiro blinked at you blankly.
You pointed in the direction Kotetsu had run, your finger jabbing through the air like a dagger.
"Yeah! That emotionally damaged, overly dramatic gremlin is now unofficially mine, and you just stomped on his soul!"
Tanjiro gave a nervous laugh. "Y/N... he’s not really—"
"Shush, Tanjiro. Let me have this."
You turned back to Muichiro. "You're gonna apologize."
Muichiro stared at you for a few seconds, the wind gently rustling his hair.
"...No thanks."
"Hey!" you yelled, nearly lunging at him.
Tanjiro held you back with a panicked grip on your shoulders. "Wait, wait—let’s just go find Kotetsu first, alright?! We’ll talk to Muichiro after!"
You huffed dramatically, blowing your hair out of your face. "Fine. But only because my emotional support gremlin is out there probably crying into a tree again."
Muichiro was already walking away, muttering something about how he still didn’t understand why this was a problem.
You and Tanjiro jogged off to search for Kotetsu, calling his name as you checked behind rocks, trees,
By the time you and Tanjiro found Kotetsu, rain was already falling in soft, steady sheets. The boy stood silently over the collapsed Yoriichi replica doll, his expression a mix of frustration and exhaustion.
You rushed over, your boots (or whatever shoes your wearing :D) splashing through puddles, and knelt beside the doll. Carefully, you draped your haori over it like it was a real person, brushing some leaves from its face with delicate fingers. You couldn’t help it something about it made your heart clench. Maybe because it reminded you so much of him.
"Awww, pookie..." you mumbled softly, giving the doll a look full of mock pity.
In your head, his voice clicked in instantly, all smug and amused.
"‘Pookie’? I like that. I’ll allow it."
You groaned internally. "You’re not supposed to hear that."
"I hear everything, little flame. Especially when you get sentimental over a wooden version of me. Should I be flattered... or jealous?"
"Jealous of a splintery man-doll? Be serious."
"You're the one whispering sweet nothings to him. I don't even get that treatment when I'm around."
Your cheeks warmed as you mentally swatted him away. "Shut up, ghost boy."
Tanjiro turned just then, unaware of the internal argument raging in your skull. He helped Kotetsu prop the doll up, and you stood, still hugging your now-damp haori tighter around it.
“Nothing… so it must be—”
A loud mechanical whir cut Kotetsu off. The doll jerked upright, eyes glowing red as it powered on.
"It’s working!!!" Kotetsu cried, practically vibrating with excitement.
Tanjiro raised his arm triumphantly with a proud smile.
Kotetsu spun around to you both, absolutely seething. "Yes! Tanjiro! Y/n! I want you to train with this doll and become stronger than that cold, indifferent jerk!"
You blinked. "You mean Tokito?"
"Yes! Him! He called me ‘useless’!" Kotetsu's voice cracked with passion.
Tanjiro gave him a gentle smile, nodding in support.
You leaned closer and muttered, "Bet he’s just jealous your bangs aren’t tragic."
Meanwhile, Yoriichi’s voice was back, bored-sounding but clearly entertained.
"You know, I had excellent bangs. They flowed like silk. That doll doesn’t do me justice."
"Yeah, yeah. You’re the hot one. We get it."
"I was just checking. You have been staring at the doll kind of lovingly."
"I was being respectful!"
"Oh? Is that what you call stroking his jaw and calling him 'pookie'?"
You let out an annoyed noise and stormed off toward the nearest tree to scream into it quietly.
Tanjiro blinked after you. "Y/n? Are you okay?"
You turned around with a forced grin. "Peachy. Just beefing with an ancient hallucination. Nothing major."
"Don’t worry," Yoriichi added smugly. "I'll wait right here. Haunting your every romantic interaction."
"You were literally married, get a hobby!"
"I did. You."
Your eye twitched.
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