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Giyu POV:

Opening the door to my lonely estate, dripping wet yet again. Straight after the training session I'd done patrols in the rain, having no missions today.

It was stupid to have no Hashira take any missions on every single Sunday. People could be dying right now because of everyone's negligence. I didn't know what Oyakta-sama was thinking, giving us so many breaks and taking away night patrols.

There was basically nothing left to do as a Hashira except for few missions. Everyday endless rain poured down in the afternoons and evenings. I did all my patrols in the wet weather, gladly. I had always enjoyed standing in the rain for hours at a time, feeling the rain patter down on me until it hurt.

I was getting more and more careless as a pillar, or even just a Slayer. Holding out on my full potential. Getting tired more easily. Easily-won fights dragging on until sunrise. To think I once trained to death for Tsutako and Sabito.

Now I felt tired. Just tired. I was giving myself a break before I could finally end it all. I wasn't brave enough to really commit suicide yet because I knew it would break Himari, but the moment she decided I wasn't worth it then I really would have nobody in the world to care for.

During missions I even felt selfish. Is it really worth my time to kill this demon to save someone's life, if I can't ever have mine?

Selfish thoughts. I spent my spare time standing in the rain or lying in bed, doing nothing. Feeling nothing.

Blankeness was now the substitute of pain. I no longer grieved Tsutako and Sabito every single day. Instead I accepted that they were gone and it was my fault and I would never be good enough but even if one day I did prove to be good enough, they were still gone and nothing would ever bring them back.

So what was the point in trying? What was the point in getting stronger and killing demons? Even if Muzan was dead and all demonkind was gone, it wouldn't bring back my lost happiness. It wouldn't bring back the lost lives. 

It only meant I could rest easy, but did I even deserve that anymore?

It had been days since I'd properly receieved a Hashira mission. The demons I killed these days were only weak, inexperienced ones that I caught during patrols.

But now that I thought about it, it had been while since I heard from Himari. She usually sent me messages with her crow, even if she was on a busy mission.

I mentally smiled at the thought of Himari fighting demons and protecting humans. She was so cute and innocent, yet so fiercly passionate when in battle. Her pink haori (Nezuko made it for her) and girlish uniform made her look harmless, but there was a reason she was Kinoe-ranked. 

Himari used Love Breathing, like Mitsuri, the love pillar. I admired the way she could easily twist and dodge and was sure she would be the next love pillar. Mitsuri had even trained her for a while too.

I'd also helped train Himari. She was an attentive student and always did her best, but she wasn't driven by pain like me. 

She was an amazing Slayer, but, like Tanjiro, often too soft on demons in their deaths. Her favourite Water Breathing form of mine was "Blessed Rain after Drought". She thought it was kind to kill demons painless. She was trying to develop a Love Breathing form similair to that.

I hoped her mission was doing well. I didn't want her to get hurt or worse- killed. You never knew in my line of work- dangers lurked everywhere and more and more Kinoe-ranked Slayers were being targetted since they were potential Hashiras.

Later that day, I received a message from her crow.

Dear Giyu,

How are you doing? I hope you're well! I'm writing to tell you that my mission will be dragged on a while, and I won't return for a few weeks.

I hope you won't worry for me too much. This mission doesn't seem to be too risky, just a little strange. I have many other comrades with me, so everything will be safe. How are your Hashira duties? I've heard your night patrols were recently cancelled. Please use the extra time to rest well!

I hope I will return soon.

Love,

Himari

Her words relaxed me, and I worried a little less. Everything would be fine- she would return safe and happy in just a few weeks time. Until then I would contuine my faithful duties.

A/N: Himari is a popular OC of mine, and she'll be playing a major role in this book!