Chapter Forty Two
Axel's POV
I was getting used to my life at the hacienda. Unti-unti ng nasasanay ang katawan ko sa mabibigat na trabaho. I worked from sunrise to sunset regardless of any pain or exhaustion I felt. But looking on the bright side, all those work had earned me a nice tan and a more toned body.
Tatlong beses ko pa lang nakikita si Valerie sa buong linggong ito. I couldn't go near her even if I wanted to. Instead, I just watched her from a distance. She'd just throw me a quick glance everytime she sees me looking at her and quickly look away. It was agonizing to not be able to hold her, to speak with her, to be close to her yet so far.
She loved me with everything she had and now she couldn't even look at me. I knew all this was my fault. I knew I made a mistake. She gave me everything and all I did was break her heart. I had hurt the woman I love and it was I that had put myself in the position I was in. Pero handa akong tiisin ang kahit anong pagod o sakit para kay Valerie. Wala akong hindi gagawin para sa kanya. I knew there's a chance she still feels something for me and while I may need to earn back her trust, there was still hope.
I stretched out my tired arms and cracked my hurting back from carrying sacks of fruits and vegetables that would be delivered to the factory. Hindi pa ako pwedeng magpahinga dahil pakakainin ko pa ang mga kabayo at paliliguan ko pa. I headed towards the horse stables and found Valerie there.
I quietly watched as she stood next to her favorite horse and mine too, Mitsy. Valerie and I had some fun memories while riding that horse. She petted her horse's nose and it made a loud neighing sound.
"Valerie." I slowly walked towards her.
She turned to me. She looked caught off guard at first but her expression quickly changed to a hard one. "Trabahador ka dito. You have no right to call me by name. Senyorita, that's what you're going to call me from now on katulad ng mga trabahador dito."
I just nodded my head. This was kind of funny in a sad way. I remembered the time when she followed me to Manila and worked for our company. Sinabi ko sa kanya na tawagin niya akong Mr. Lavigne katulad ng mga empleyado ko. Now she was the boss and I was working for her. She was doing the same thing I did to her. It was ironic how our roles have reversed now.
Ganito pala kasakit iyon. I was hurting for her more than I was for myself. I put her through a lot of pain and I wish I could undo everything I did that had hurt her.
"May kailangan ka ba, senyorita?" I asked after too much of this silence had passed.
"All I need right now is for you to stay away from me." She said in a cold tone.
I gave her another nod and turned around to head out the stable. I only took a few steps when I heard her call my name. I faced her.
"When are you going to get tired of this?" She asked.
"Never." I answered with a bittersweet smile. "Hindi ako mapapagod na ipakita sa'yo kung gaano kita kamahal. I know how badly I fucked up, I know how much I had hurt you but I swear I'll prove to you how much I love you and how sorry I am. I'll make it up to you."
Her face softened a bit. I could see the internal battle in her mind reflecting through her eyes. And then she dropped her eyes to the ground, avoiding my gaze. She wasn't ready to fogive yet but I knew she would be.
Valerie's POV
I shook the reins for Mitsy to go faster. I didn't know exactly where I was going. I guess I just needed to get some fresh air and get everything he said off my mind. My heart wanted to believe but my mind couldn't. The love drunk side of me screamed for me to run and wrap my arms around him. But I was scared of being hurt again that I hurt him. Love does have limits and I think I've reached mine. You could only love someone and go through too much with that person. Sometimes it's just too way much that no matter how much you love someone it wouldn't be enough.
I tapped my foot against Mitsy and she stopped. Bumaba ako mula sa likuran niya. This wasn't working. I still couldn't get him off my mind. Hindi ako sanay na nagpapakumbaba si Axel. He had always been proud and cocky now here he was, reduced to such sorry state.
"Mitsy..." I sighed as I stroke my horse's nose. When I had no one to talk to, I usually just talk to Mitsy. "Bakit gano'n? Bakit kung kailan nasasanay na akong wala siya saka naman siya pupunta dito at guguluhin ang isip ko? I can't let all my progress go to waste."
She nudged her nose to me as if comforting me. I patted her. I could tell her everything. Minsan mas masarap nga kausap ang mga hayop. When you tell them your secrets they wouldn't judge you or tell anyone else. They couldn't give advice but that wasn't what I wanted right now. Sometimes I just wanted to be heard, even if I'm not sure if she could understand me.
"I want to hate him but the sad truth is I'm still very much in love with him." I pouted. "Galit ako sa kanya dahil nasaktan ako, pinagmukha niya akong tanga pero alam kong mahal ko pa rin siya. He can't just show up here and expect everything to be magically okay again. The wound are still fresh. Masakit pa din."
Mitsy made a sound, it was as if she really understood me and was trying to make me feel better.
After spilling everything out to Mitsy, sumakay ulit ako sa kanya. Nag-ikot ako sandali at magdidilim na ng ibalik ko si Mitsy sa kwadra. Nandoon pa din si Axel ng dumating ako. He was leaning against the wall as if he was waiting for me.
Nang nasa aktong baba na ako, lumapit siya sa akin. He put his hands on either side of my torso, just below my breasts.
"Kaya ko na." I said, irritated as I tried to pry his hands away from me but he pulled me down. Next thing I knew I was snuggled against his hard, musculine chest. His natural scent mixed with his sweat drove me wild in the inside. He wasn't wearing and cologne. It was musky, earthy, and manly. The heat of his body against me and his sweat reminded me of the last time we made- had sex right here in this very room we were in.
I swallowed and quickly took a step back. "Wala kang karapatan na hawakan ako." I hissed, glaring at him and I headed out of there. I was afraid I'd lose control just like the last time. It was too dangerous to be that close to him. My body was a traitor. One touch from Axel and it would betray me.
Axel's POV
It was a struggle to get out of bed. My head was light and my body felt heavy but I had to force myself up. Marami pang trabaho sa hacienda ngayong araw. We were rushing to harvest acres of crops before the storm rolls in. Kailangan kong maipakita kay Jaime na nagtatrabaho ako ng mabuti. I hardly get any rest. Tumutulong ako sa pag-ani ng mga tanim, pagbubuhat ng mga sako ng mga naaning prutas at gulay, at mga kahoy. Sometimes I would only eat twice a day because I was too tired to have dinner. I'd just collapse on the bed and doze off.
Nagpunta ako sa taniman pagkatapos kong maligo at kumain. I was feeling under the weather today but I ignored it. Once I start working, I'd forget about it and it would go away. I started working but the burning hot heat of the sun was making me feel worse. I was sweating like hell but at the same time I was having the chills. Hindi ko na ininda iyon, hangga't kaya ng katawan ko, magtatrabaho ako. I wouldn't want Jaime to think that I was slacking off.
After a while, my vision got a little blurry. I wiped the sweat that was dripping down from my forehead to my eyes. I blinked a couple of times to clear my vision. My surroundings faded in and I could feel my body shutting down.
Valerie's POV
Namasyal ako sa hacienda, naglakad-lakad hanggang sa mapunta ako sa taniman kung saan ko palaging nakikitang nagtatrabaho si Axel. Sometimes, I watch him from the distance. Akala ko hindi niya kakayanin magtrabaho sa hacienda. I thought he wouldn't be able to do his work properly. He was used to working in an airconditioned building, sitting on a comfy chair in front of his computer. Hindi niya kayang magtrabahong nakabilad sa araw habang gumagawa ng mabibigat na trabaho. Pero sa napapanood ko, siya ang pinakamasipag sa kanila. Halos hindi na siya nagpapahinga. Some would take a few minutes of break under the shade of a tree but Axel rarely does that. He would work like a machine. I couldn't believe it at first. Atticus Xavier Enrique Lavigne, the executive officer of one of the biggest companies here in the Philippines, was now working at our hacienda.
I walked around the hacienda, I even went to the horse stables but I couldn't find him there. I was starting to get worried. And then a question came into my mind. Bumalik na kaya siya sa Manila? I felt a pang in my chest at the thought.
I approached one of the workers. "Nakita mo ba si Axel?" I asked him.
"Si Axel po, senyorita, may sakit. Nawalan ng malay kanina habang nagtatrabaho." Sagot niya.
"Kasi naman, ayaw magpaawat ng batang iyon. Walang pahinga-pahinga." Sabi pa ng isa. "Malakas nga siya at malaki ang katawan niya pero inaabuso niya ang katawan niya."
"Nasaan siya?" I asked urgently.
"Dinala po siya doon sa tinutuluyan niya sa tabi ng kwadra. Gusto nga po namin na dalhin siya sa center pero siya po ang umayaw. Gusto niya lang daw magpahinga." Kibit-balikat na sabi ng lalaki.
Nagmamadali kong pinuntahan siya. I walked to the old tool shed where he wa sstaying and opened the door to find three young women in there. Axel was lying on the bed topless, one woman sat on the edge of it wiping him with a small towel while the two were watching. My eyes narrowed in a sharp slit. I faked a cough.
"Senyorita." Sabi ng isa sa mga babae ng mapalingon silang lahat sa akin. "Magandang hapon po."
"Pwede na kayong umalis. Ako na ang bahala sa kanya." I coldly said, scowling at them.
The woman who was sitting on the edge of his bed stood up and they all walked out of the small room. Ako naman ang pumalit sa babaeng nakaupo sa gilid na kama niya. I felt his forehead with the back of my hand and he was hot.
"Inaapoy ka na ng lagnat, puro babae pa rin nakapaligid sa'yo." I mindlessly said in an annoyed tone.
"Selos ka?" He grinned with eyes still closed. His voice was weak but playful. I was quite surprised dahil akala ko tulog siya.
"Kapal mo." I retorted.
A low chuckle rose from his throat.
"Uminom ka na ba ng gamot?" I asked, changing the subject.
"Yeah..." He answered, weakly.
"How are you feeling?"
"Much better now that you're here." He murmured. He took my hand and just held it tightly to his chest. "Stay. Don't ever leave again" He whispered.
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