Chapter Forty Four
Axel's POV
She moaned and writhed under me, aching for more. I didn't want to disappoint her. I thrusted faster making her moan even louder. She screamed, demanding me to go harder. My hands dug into her waist, lifting it higher up as I pounded in and out of her, powerfully. She wrapped her legs around me, pulling me deeper into her, crying out at the overwhelming pleasure I was giving her. I was close to climax when I felt her insides beginning to pulse around me.
"I'm going to come." I warned her.
"Come inside me. Give it to me." She said in a hoarse voice.
I cupped her ass with my hands and pumped roughly inside her. Soon she was shuddering and convulsing. Her eyes were close, her hand clutched on the pillow as she drowned in the exquisite pleasure shooting through her. I spilled myself inside of her and collapsed on top of her. I layed my damp head on her chest with our bodies. I could still feel her warmth. I could feel her heartbeat, the both of us heaving like we just ran a marathon. Our sweat mixing together.
This was the closest to intimacy I had ever gotten from her in a while. I was quite surprised that she let me take her missionary style. Ilang gabi na kaming nagkikita sa ganitong paraan. She was careful to avoid any physical or emotion intimacy between us. It was never making love, it was just sex. I felt the last of my energy drained out of me. I never denied her sex no matter how tired my body was from working. I was hers and she could do with me whatever she wanted.
Mahinang itinulak niya ako paalis sa ibabaw niya. I rolled off her and onto my back. She sat up on the edge of the bed and started putting on her clothes. Usually, I don't do anything but watch her get dressed and leave but now I felt like we really needed to talk.
"Val..." I quietly said.
She paused as she put on her bra. She didn't turn her head to me but I knew she was waiting for me to say something.
"Is this how it's always going to be?" I sadly sighed.
"What do you mean?" She coldly asked.
"Hanggang dito na lang ba tayo? I don't want to have sex with you anymore, I want to make love to you. You tell me you don't feel anything for me and you come to me and have sex with me every night. I know you still love me, Val, otherwise you wouldn't be here."
"I'm here because I needed a good fuck, not because I love you." She shrugged. Her words sliced through me but what did I expect? I was just a 'boytoy' to her.
This was my punishment for not telling the truth to her and I was ready to deal with it. I deserved it. I took a lot from her. And everything I took, I wanted to give it all back to her.
Valerie's POV
I sunk my aching and spent body into the warm water in the tub. I felt sore all over from the rough sex Axel and I had, but in a good kind of way. I took the sponge sitting on the left side of my tub and started scrubbing my skin. I scrubbed off his kisses, his touch, his scent, his sweat off of me but I knew I couldn't scrub the memories and the kiss marks he left all over my body. The purple marks on my breasts, my stomach and my inner thigh was there so I wouldn't be able to forget him even if he wasn't around. He purposely left those marks as a reminder that I was his.
My body was addicted to him in every possible way. To his warmth. His tongue. His voice.
I'd been back on pill again since the first time we had sex. I knew it was inevitable. It was going to happen again and in our situation, a baby is the last thing I would want right now. And happened it did, over and over.
I closed my eyes and cursed to myself. Why was I doing this? Didn't I have a tiny bit of self-respect left?
He made a fool of me and lied to me. I guess in a way, gusto kong gumanti sa kanya. But this was torturing me too. Hindi ko pa siya kayang tanggapin pero hindi ko rin naman siya kayang pakawalan. I was scared to give him my all again. I felt like I was in a limbo.
I got out of the tub after an hour and went to bed.
My day started as any other normal day. I had breakfast with my dad and spent some time with him until an unexpected visitor came. Guiliana Di Fiordo, Axel's ex-wife. I felt like my whole world had collapsed the moment I saw her standing in front of our house. I knew what she was here for. Nandito siya para kay Axel. What if he suddenly decided that he finally had enough? Paano kung sumama na siya sa dating asawa niya. Fear took over me and I did my best to mask it.
She glanced at me with what looked like a taunting smirk. My lips pursed and my brow arched up at her.
"Good afternoon." Dad warmly greeted him.
Her eyes averted from me to my dad. She smiled widely. "Hi, good afternoon. May nakapagsabi sa akin na nandito daw si Axel. Pwede ko bang makausap siya?"
"Sure. Ipapatawag ko na siya ngayon din." Sabi ni dad. "Halika, tumuloy ka muna." He invited the bitch inside our home. We sat at the living room with her. I sat next to dad on the couch across from where she was sitting.
"I'm sorry. I haven't gotten your name yet? What is it?" Dad asked..
"Guiliana. My name's Guiliana." She answered. "I'm Axel's wife."
"Ex-wife." Mariin na sabi ko.
She threw me a look of disdain and sat up right. The tension was evident between us. I was sure dad could feel. He, himself, looked uncomfortable.
"Yes, I've heard about you." Dad finaally said, after a couple of seconds of awkward silence. "Do you want something to drink? Water, coffee, tea, juice?"
"Poison." I quietly said. I knew I was acting childish but something inside was peeved.
"Valerie." Saway ni dad sa akin.
"No, thank you." She collectedly answered with a smile.
"What are you doing here? Bakit kailangan mo pang makita si Axel, hindi ba divorced na kayo?" Mataray na tanong ko.
"Our marrriage my have ended, pero hindi ibig sabihin nun tapos na sa amin ang lahat." Sabi niya.
"Tapos na sa inyo ang lahat nang ma-divorce kayo. Don't you get, you desperate bitch?" I couldn't control my anger any longer.
"Valerie!" Dad said in a firm voice.
"Desperate?" She chuckled. "Hindi ako ang pumatol sa may asawa. Hindi ako ang naging kabit. Sino sa atin ngayon ang desperate?"
I couldn't think of anymore to say. Parang umurong ang dila sa sinabi niya. It was like a slap to me. Everytime na maaalala ko na naging kabit ako ng lalaking mahal ko. He was married while I was in a relationship with him and he didn't have the decency to tell me the truth. Nagmukha akong katanga.
Agad naman dumating si Axel. I felt dad breathed out in relief when he came. Our eyes met and I threw him a spiteful glare. His attention turned to Guiliana when she called him. She stood up from her seat and walked towards Axel.
"Guiles, anong ginagawa mo dito?" He asked, surprised.
"I'm so glad to see you again." She wrapped her arms around him and that was it. I had seen enough. Mabilis akong umalis sa kinauupuan ko at lumabas sa bahay. What if he decided he wants to get back with her? Paano kung nagsawa na siya sa pagpapahirap ko sa kanya at makipagbalikan na lang siya kay Guiliana? Tears spilled from my eyes as I ran out of the house and then I bumped into something solid and soft. I looked up and saw David.
"Hey, what's wrong?" He asked in a worried tone.
I shook my head, wiping away my tears. He held my face with his hands and wiped away my tears with his thumb. "Wanna talk about it?"
Axel's POV
I quickly pushed Guiliana away from me and I saw Valerie walk out. I clenched my jaw in annoyance. Fuck! Wouldn't she ever let me be happy? Kung kailan pakiramdam ko unti-unti na akong napapatawad ni Valerie tsaka naman siya dadating?
"What are you doing here?" My brows furrowed as I looked at her.
"Iiwan ko muna kayo." Jaime quietly got up from his seat and left us.
"We need to talk. I- I just got the divorce decree." She looked at me with sad eyes. "Pwede pa natin itong maayos, Axel."
"No, Guiles, we can't fix this anymore. You have to understand that we can't be fixed anymore. Matagal ng tapos ang lahat sa atin. Marami ng nagbago sa loob ng tatlong taon."
"Axel..." She said in a broken voice. "I didn't mean to hurt. I didn't mean to cheat on you. It just happened. You weren't always around and I wanted to feel loved."
"It doesn't matter anymore. I forgive you. We both need to forgive each other." I said. "Alam kong may mga naging pagiging pagkukulang ako sa'yo and I'm so sorry for that. I'm sorry for not being able to love you like you deserve. I'm sorry for neglecting you. I was a stupid, immature, selfish jerk. I married you for the wrong reason. I'm so sorry, Guiles. You deserve to be loved pero hindi ko kayang ibigay sa'yo iyon."
"Dahil si Valerie ang mahal mo?" She said.
"Yes, I love her more than anything in this world. More than my own life." I answered.
"What a lucky bitch." She smiled despite the pain in her eyes.
"She is, isn't she?" I smiled back.
"You are still a cocky asshole, Axel." She said, shaking her head. Somehow, everything felt a little lighter. I knew she had finally accepted it. "I'm just... I'm scared. Hindi ko alam kung ano na ang mangyayari sa akin ngayong hiwalay na tayo. I don't want to be alone."
"You won't be. You're free now. One day, you'll find a man who will love you the way you deserve. He'll give you everything I couldn't. You have nothing to be scared about." I told her.
That was all we needed. Closure. We ended everything the right way. It was something, for the longest time, we never had the courage to do. We forgave each other. She had already accepted the fact that we couldn't be together anymore. Maybe in her heart, she knew that we were never really were meant to be. That it was just a mistake. She just wanted closure. Si Valerie lang ang babaeng minahal ko at mamahalin kong higit pa sa buhay ko.
Valerie's POV
Sumama ako kay David. He took me to their villa. I was quiet, I didn't say anything the whole moment we were together but he was there for me. After the night we kissed, I explained to him that it was all a mistake. Nabigla lang ako at walang ibig sabihin ang halik na iyon. He was just a friend to me and I couldn't see him as more than that. Yung naramdaman ko sa kanya noon, it wasn't love, it was just an admiration. I idealized him without realizing that I really didn't feel anything for him at all. Iba ang love kapag naramdaman mo na. It wasn't all rainbows, glitters, and butterflies. Love makes you do crazy, insane things you would never imagine yourself doing. I only felt it with Axel.
We'd been friends since I can remember and we decided to just keep it that way.
We watched a few movies in their home theater and we had dinner at their place. I didn't want to go home because I was scared that Axel wouldn't be there anymore. Natatakot ako na baka pagbalik ko wala na siya...
Nagsimulang umulan ng malakas pagkatapos namin mag-dinner at ihahatid na ako ni David pauwi. I waited and hoped for the rain to stop but so far there was no sign that it will happen anytime soon.
"May bagyo ngayon at madilim na." David's mom said as I was looking outside through the window. "Delikado kung uuwi ka pa. Why don't you stay here for the night? Doon ka na lang matulog sa guest room."
I sighed, forcing a smile and nodding my head. It was already ten in the evening and the rain still hadn't stop. I was already exhausted, mentally and emotionally drained. Gusto ko na din magpahinga. Tumawag ako kay dad para sabihin na hindi na ako makakauwi.
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