Promise To A Stardust (Published Under Flutter Fic)
Kabanata 4
Kabanata 4
"I'M curious. Why did you choose to drive around instead?" I asked. We're sitting in an open field, one of my favorite spots in the small province of Casa Amara where we could see the sea and the stars at the same time.
"I just like to drive around." May ngiti siyang sumulyap. "And I am used to a simple life now,"
"Bakit naman?" I asked, watching him closely to observe further. "I think you came from a rich family. If not rich, middle class. You are good at speaking English. Not that I'm saying anyone can't. Sanay na sanay ka lang."
He smirked. "Sa dami ng kano dito 'di ka ba masasanay sa English?" aniya.
Napatawa ako at napatango. He has a point!
"Saka sanay na 'ko sa pinsan ko, Englishero kasi." Ngumuso siya't inangat ang tingin sa langit. "And I think I like driving, at least now. I felt normal... and she doesn't like rich guys much so..."
"Girlfriend mo?" I asked, even if it left a bitter taste in my mouth.
He glanced my way, the glint of his eyes was sad but the way the stars shone in it–it was beautiful.
"I wish," he mumbled. "I only wish."
"Who was it, then? 'Yan ba 'yong nakaraan?"
"It's... yeah, it's the same woman. She's also a nurse."
Umawang ang labi ko.
"A very beautiful and kind nurse,"
Hindi ko alam ang isasagot. I was astonished by the way he said those words. It was full of admiration and somehow, weirdly enough, I don't feel bitter about it.
"I remembered being involved in an accident," he said, reminiscing a distant memory. "Napaaway kasi 'yong kapatid ko then of course, kapatid ko. I helped him. Nakipagbugbugan rin ako but the police came."
I gasped.
"Oh, basagulero ka pala, e!" I exclaimed. He stopped as if he remembered something and a small, genuine smile left his lips. Napatikhim ako at napaiwas ng tingin.
"Sorry, na-carried away."
He chuckled, nodding.
"Muntik na kaming makulong, buti may witness na nagsabing 'di kami ang may kasalanan kaya 'di na-hold sa presinto. Nga lang, dinala sa ospital. Walang doktor pagkarating namin sa ER, busy lahat, but a nurse saw us. Kumakain pa siya no'n, napadaan lang pero no'ng nakita kaming duguan 'yong mukha sinuksok niya sa bibig 'yong buong tirang sandwich."
I laughed, reminding me of myself. He watched me closely, his eyes gentle.
"Dalawa kayo? Pati 'yong brother mo?"
"Mild lang 'yong sugat niya. Pasa lang pero ako napuruhan talaga, may malaki akong black eye dito." He pointed his eye. "And a cut on my lip, gago rin kasi 'yong kaaway no'ng kapatid ko, nanghampas ba naman ng bote."
"Oh my God!" My eyes widened. "What happened, then? Buti hindi ka napuruhan? Patingin nga!" I cupped his cheek. Tinitigan ko ang mukha niya para suriin, hinahanap ang kung ano mang bakas pero nagsalubong ang tingin namin.
Oxygen caught in my lungs, his eyes the most beautiful shade of green I've ever seen. My aze roamed around his face, from his nose, his cheeks... his lips.
How could someone be this handsome?
Heat rushed to my cheeks.
Our gaze found each other again like magnets drawn to each other. I couldn't look away, and so was he. My heart's literally breathing on my throat.
I swallowed and let go of his cheek.
"W-wala naman pa lang peklat," I murmured and looked away.
Nanahimik kami saglit. Nang balingan ko siya'y nahuli kong may ngiti pa sa labi, hinihila ang mga damo at nangingiti ng wala sa sarili.
'Di kaya may hangover pa siya no'ng bagok no'ng sa aksidente niya.
"T-tapos?" I asked.
He looked at me and smiled. "'Yon, mabuti na lang natulak ko 'yong bote kaya 'di masyadong napuruhan. The beautiful nurse cleaned us up, tinanong niya kung anong nangyari and I told her what happened. No'ng nalaman niyang nakipagbugbugan kami, you know what she told me?"
"What?"
"Basagulero ka pala, e." He laughed. "That's exactly what she told me."
"Wasn't that what I told you earlier?" I asked, amazed.
"Exactly." He shook his head, amused.
"Tapos?" I asked, interested in his story. I didn't even know why I was invested.
"As a thank-you gift for her kindness, I began giving her food during her shifts. Bi-nestfriend ko pa 'yong guard para sabihin sa 'kin."
"Really?"
"Yup." He grinned. "Nalaman ko 'yong favorite niyang ulam kaya niluluto ko. Minsan kapag galing ako sa trabaho uuwi ako para lutuan siya tapos ihahatid ko sa kanya kasi graveyard.
"That's too sweet," I hummed, imagining what it would be like if there was a man like that destined for me.
"And then, we suddenly clicked. She was just too sweet and genuine, she stole my heart just by her sweet smiles. I told her I like her and ayaw niya no'ng una. She said ayaw niya sa mayayaman–"
"E 'di mayaman ka nga?!" Nanlaki ang mata ko.
"N-no!" Tumikhim siya. "Uhm, akala niya lang kasi, 'di ba? Look at me, I looked rich, right?"
Umirap ako sa hangin. Tumawa siya at ngumuso.
"Oo na lang," I groaned. Natatawang tumitig siya at hinuli ang tingin ko.
"But she won't just let me court her, nakwento ko kasi sa kanya 'yong tungkol sa ex ko," aniya kaya natigilan ako.
"Ex?" I asked curiously.
"Cheska," he murmured.
Cheska... Cheska... Why does it sound so familiar?
"Cheska. Who's that?"
I noticed the hesitation in his face. He shook his head.
"She's not that important, anyway, let's just–"
"No, who's that Cheska? I think I heard her name before," I murmured, trying to remember why it seemed familiar.
I know that name, I am sure. I know that Cheska!
"Just an ex," I felt the chills from his cold voice.
It looked like he was regretting opening it up to me but I just can't sit still when I feel like she's familiar.
"Who's Cheska, Caspian?" I asked him seriously. He sighed and brushed his hair.
"An ex," he whispered. "She cheated on me with her driver."
"Oh..." Umawang ang labi ko at napakurap. "R-really?"
"It's not a big deal." He shook his head. "We're only a couple because of our parents. Nothing romantic but a betrayal's a betrayal."
I sighed and nodded.
"That's fucked up,"
"I don't care, that's in the past. Let's talk again about my beautiful nurse," aniya at hindi ko man mabitawan ang pangalang Cheska ay tumango.
"T-tapos?"
"Then, I started going to her house. Doon ko siya binubulabog, sinusundo ko palagi, yayayain ko lumabas tapos–Reev, listen, babe." Gulat akong napalingon kay Caspian, umaawang ang labi at 'di nakuha ang sinabi niya.
"H-huh? Again?"
"You're thinking of it," he noticed.
"No, sorry, I just..."
"Forget it, okay? She was nothing."
"I know." I sighed. "Parang familiar lang."
Hindi siya umimik, pinagmamasdan lang ako. I even caught his jaw clenching.
"Baka marami ka lang kilalang gano'n ang pangalan. I'm sure you probably had a patient with that name. It's common."
"Yeah, it's probably it." I bit my lip.
"Now, can you listen to me?" Masuyong pakiusap niya. I glanced at him. "I will tell how we–I met her."
"Okay. Sorry, where are we?"
He moistened his lips, nodding.
"I'm sorry, Reev," he muttered. "Am I talking too much?"
"Huh? Hindi naman. Bakit?"
"Sorry," he chuckled. "I can't stop myself from talking. It's been a while since I talked this much. Pasensya na kung ang ingay–"
"Nonsense." I reached and squeezed his hand. "I don't mind. Go on, talk. I'll listen."
He still looked doubtful. I smiled softly.
"Really?" he rasped.
"Yep. How about... ganito na lang, this is only my suggestion. Kapag sad ka," I pointed to the skies. "Just look at the stars, I promise, the beauty could somehow get the weight off your chest. They remind me na kahit madilim... kahit maliit, may liwanag."
"I hope so." He was now looking at the skies. "I hope, when I looked at it, I'd felt peace but after the shits I've done in the past, I don't think I could look at it the same way without hating myself."
I felt the pang of his words in my chest.
"Cas," I murmured.
He sighed, bumaba ang tingin niya sa akin at malungkot na ngumiti.
"Reev, do you think we have to suffer to be happy?" Bulong niya sa hangin pagkaraan.
"It depends. But most of the time, I think to balance things out, we have to. Ayaw man natin, minsan ang logic ng tadhana, kapag pinaghirapan mo, mas fulfilling ang saya."
He sighed. I stared at him when I thought of an example I often encounter as a nurse.
"A mother has to get her one foot on the grave first to hear the cry of happiness of her child." He froze at that. Mas lumalim ang paghinga niya. I saw the tension. I squeezed his hand.
"I know you've experienced a lot of things before, Cas, before I met you," sabi ko. "I don't know why you cried, I won't ask you why but always remember na sa bawat paghihirap at mga luha ay may ngiting nakahanda. Sa dilim ng gabi ay may bituin na magliliwanag."
His eyes were now glassy. I reached for his cheek.
"Happiness is a choice, we just have to choose to be."
"But what if I already got that happiness long ago but then I let it slip off my grasp?" He murmured. "Paano kapag... kapag may ginawa akong mali at nawala ang kasiyahan na 'yon?"
"Then you have to do what it takes to chase that happiness back," I told him. "Masaktan ka man ngayon but it'll be worth it."
He nodded, tila naliliwanagan. May kislap pa rin ng luha ang mga mata niya't nang tuluyang mahulog ay sinalo iyon ng daliri ko.
"Iyakin ka pala, Mr. Driver?" I asked. He lowered his head and frantically dried his tears. Umiling siya at ngumiti pero may nalalaglag pa ring luha kahit anong pigil niya.
"It's my fault I lost that happiness. My stupidity led me here. I deserved all this pain," he mumbled.
"Caspian," I called, reassuring him. "If you need someone to talk to, nandito lang ako. You can tell me everything."
His bloodshot eyes caught mine.
"Thank you," he whispered. "Thank you so much, Reev."
I was shocked when he pulled me for a hug. I let him. I felt his tears on my shoulder and it broke me. I brushed his hair.
"It's alright," I whispered and touched his hair. "Everything will be fine again, Caspian."
He gasped, habang nakasalampak sa damuhan ay yakap-yakap niya ako habang hawak ko siya at inaalo.
I smiled.
This baby... Ang laking tao pero iyakin.
Ngumiti ako at hinayaan siya, mukhang kailangan ng masasandalan at masaya akong ako iyon. He held me like he was somehow scare I'd slip through his grasp.
Hearing his story, it was very obvious he's very much in love with that woman. The nurse.
There's this nagging feeling in me telling me to stop and take a step back but a much bigger part didn't want to. It was telling me it's okay, that I should just go with the flow.
Hindi ko na rin alam.
"I can't believe we spent our night crying," I murmured and chuckled.
Caspian's lips protruded.
"I am the crybaby here," he said. "S-sorry kung naiyakan kita–"
"Sshh..." Umiling ako. "You don't have to explain. Sometimes, we just have to let it all out to get the weight off our chest."
Sumisinghot pa rin siya, mukhang do'n na nagprosesong iniiyakan niya ako. Umiwas pa siya, namumula ang mukha kaya natatawang inabot ko siya, pinihit paharap at sinapo ang pisngi para punasan ng panyo ang luha niya.
He was just looking at me all the time, baffled and amused.
"Ayan, maayos na, gwapo ka na ulit." I smiled and brushed his messy hair.
He helped me up when he recovered. Tumawid kami pabalik sa traysikel niya pero mukhang malalim ang iniisip niya habang nakatitig sa pampasada.
"Cas?"
"Gusto mo mag-taxi na lang tayo?"
"Oh?" Nagtaka ako. "Why?"
"Nothing." He scratched his nape. "I just realized how cheap I am to ask you for dinner while we ride that–"
"Ito naman!" I scoffed. "Hindi ako maarte sa ganyan. Kahit anong sakyan, basta masaya ang kasama mo, walang problema."
His lips parted. "M-masaya ako kasama?" maamo niyang tanong.
"Oo." I chirped.
"Really? But all I did was cry. You barely knew me pero nag-e-emote na ako–"
I laughed.
"I don't mind."
"Paanong napapasaya kita? 'Di naman kita napapatawa?" He licked his lip. "Parang nakakahiya nga? It's lame–"
"Lame is when you're trying to be perfect when you're not," I told him. "A real person cries at his hardest and smiles at his happiest. Seeing you now, Cas, that's a real person to me. I like you."
Umawang ang labi niya at nakita kong namula ang pisngi niya.
"Y-you–"
"You're a good friend, Cas," I shrugged. Bahagyang nahulong ang balikat niya. "Don't be shy. Come on, I don't mind if we ride a tricycle."
Naupo ako sa likod niya at bahagyang sumandal. Maingat ang patakbo niya hanggang sa napansin kong bumabagal.
"Bakit mo binagalan?" I asked.
"Para magtagal," he chuckled.
It was past nine when we reached my house. Bumaba kami at iniabot niya sa 'kin ang bulaklak kanina na bigay niya at ang bag bago ako alalayan patungo sa tapat ng gate ko.
"Thank you, Reev."
"Thank you din for the company,"
He nodded, mukhang masaya na.
Hinawi ko ang buhok sa balikat nang mapansin ang titig niya sa leeg ko. He reached for my pendant.
"K-kanino galing?" He asked.
"Yong kwintas?" He nodded and stared at it again as he caressed it.
"I actually don't know," I hummed. "The nurses gave it to me when I woke up. They said, when I was found, I was seen clutching on it tight while I was fighting for my life."
His jaw clenched. Mas nagdilim ang tingin niya at paulit-ulit na hinaplos ang kwintas.
"It might be from someone important kaya siguro gano'n kahigpit ang hawak ko."
Doon ko lang din napansing may sumisilip na kwintas din sa leeg niya. Wala sa sariling inabot ko 'yon at inilabas sa shirt niya.
He didn't react and let me. It was a white gold necklace with a ring as a pendant. It made me feel something and was about to ask when I realized I was getting too comfortable.
Nabitawan ko iyon.
"Hala, sorry! I didn't mean to–"
"It's alright." He smiled a little and patted my head. "Tulog at pahingang mabuti, hmm? I will fetch you again tomorrow."
I nodded. We smiled at each other. He waited for me to go inside before I heard his tricycle's engine driving away.
Habang palapit sa bahay ay napansin kong may ilaw sa loob ng bahay. My forehead creased.
Pinatay ko 'to, kanina, ah?
My heart quickened. I strode closer to my house, stopping when I spotted someone inside.
"D-Dad?" I called.
Mula sa panunuod ng TV at pagsimsim ng kape ay tumayo siya at ngumiti sa akin.
"Hija..."
"What..." Tinakbo ko siya at mahigpit na niyakap. "P-paanong–"
"You gave me duplicates of your house key, remember?" He embraced me tighter. Umawang ang labi ko at napatango ng maalala.
"Why are you here?" Takang tanong ko.
"Ouch." He chuckled and put his hands on his chest. "Don't you miss your old man?"
"Of course, I do!" I exclaimed. "But you're busy, right?"
"I'm busy, really..." Humugot siya ng hininga. "Kaya kung p'wede sana, nak, I wanted to ask you a favor."
"O...kay? What is it?" I asked curiously.
"Sirius!" Nagulat ako nang may sumigaw na babae mula sa kusina, humahangos na lumabas at nang sundan ko ang tingin niya ay nakita ang batang tumatakbo.
I was startled when the boy hugged my legs and started stretching his arms.
"Oh my God..." I murmured. "What is this baby doing here?"
"That's my favor, hija," aniya. Dumukwang ako kapantay no'ng gwapong batang lalaki at tumitig.
"Favor?" Nilingon ko si Dad. Nang kalabitin ako no'ng bata at inilahad ang kamay niya ay walang pagdadalawang-isip kong binuhat siya sa bisig ko.
A satisfying relief and happiness washed through me.
"I'll be out for a few days or weeks, Lars. Could you take care of him?"
Gulong-gulo pa rin ay tumango ako.
"Sure, sure." I stared at the kid. He beamed, his chubby cheeks were adorable. Inabot niya ang buhok ko para laruin.
"What's your name little boy?" I whispered.
"Sirius!" He exclaimed happily and his green eyes glistened.
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