58: 𝐴𝑙𝑙 𝑏𝑒𝑐𝑎𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝑜𝑓 ℎ𝑒𝑟
A/N: To the people thinking I was gonna discontinue after last chapter... Who hurt you?
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"Katsuki I'm a mind-reader."
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Bakugou stared at her. Then scoffed. "No for real." He laughed. "What is it?"
"She's joking... Right? RIGHT??"
"N-no I'm not..." Kira put a hand to her head. "Please don't yell it, I'm not joking Katsuki listen-"
"I'm not-" He stood up and grabbed his head. "No... No!" Bakugou shook his head and looked up. "She's lying right... You can't hear this can you?" He stared at her and Kira gave a small, timid nod.
"Oh my God this whole time..." He looked at her and Kira almost felt sick with herself. She could see and feel his betrayal and confusion. "THIS WHOLE TIME?!" He Yelled as he started to actually comprehend this.
"You... But..." He stammered. He walked away from the beds few steps and shook his head frantically. "No... No..."
"Katsuki I'm sorry!" Kira said, standing up after him. "Really I understand I shouldn't have kept this from you but-"
"YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE KEPT THIS FROM ME!!!" He screamed, Kira took a step backwards at his volume.
"I know." She said, putting her hands up. "I know I shouldn't have. I'm sorry." She said calmly.
"This whole time..." He whispered. Wiping his eyes. "So Every time... Every time I shared something with you, every time I told you something. Everytime I trusted you. YOU KNEW THE WHOLE TIME?!? Before I even said anything?!"
"I...I..." Kira whispered. She didn't have anything to say to him other than sorry. "I guess so but-"
"REALLY?!" He asked turning around and then back. Grabbing the side of his head. His right hand flexed and then clinched. He was shaking and panting as he tried to figure out what he felt. What he thought. "SO YOUVE JUST BEEN DIGGING AROUND IN MY MIND?! A-AND WHAT? DID YOU THINK IT WAS FUNNY WHEN I TOLD YOU SOMETHING YOU ALREADY KNEW?"
"Katsuki of course not!!" Kira shook her head frantically. "It's not like that! Please calm down-"
"CALM DOWN?! HOW COULD I CALM DOWN??? YOUVE BEEN LYING TO ME SINCE WE FIRST MET!" He yelled. "And then you spout all of that shit about telling people things... You always told me that I could trust you!! WHY DIDN'T YOU TRUST ME?!"
"I do trust you Katsuki!" She said, stepping forward and touching his shoulder. Which was probably a mistake considering how mad he was at her. "I don't tell anyone about it-"
"YOU PROBABLY FUCKING SHOULD!!!"
He screamed, smacking her arm away. Her hand stung lightly but it wasn't anything significant hurtful. "YOU KNOW! LIKE EVERYONE ELSE WITH A QUIRK DOES?!"
"Everyone with a quirk like that tells people about it..."
Kira flinched back as he screamed at her. "Listen... Please just let me explain-"
"NO! YOU'VE HAD PLENTY OF TIME TO EXPLAIN!!!! YOUVE HAD OUR WHOLE FRIENDSHIP TO EXPLAIN!!!" He yelled, interrupting her. She pressed her lips together, trying to hold back her tears.
"I know." She whimpered, taking in a shaky breath. "I know..." she closed her eyes and a tear ran down her cheeks.
"Why the fuck are you crying?!" He groaned in frustration. "THIS IS YOUR FAULT!!! DON'T TRY TO FUCKING GUILT ME!"
"Katsuki I'm not trying to guilt you-"
"SHUT UP!!! Just shut up!!!" Katsuki said, rubbing his own eyes. "GOD! HOW?" He looked over at her with a glare. "How does it work?" He asked as though he was trying to put together what she knew about him. Trying to salvage his secrets.
"I-I..." Kira blinked. "I can just... Hear what someone thinks. Only the moment th-that they think it. I can't stop it Katsuki. It's like they're saying it out loud to me. I can't help but listen."
"And you didn't even think to FUCKING MENTION THAT TO ME?!" He asked.
"Of course I did but..." She rubbed her eyes. "I wanted to avoid it..."
"WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU AVOID IT?!" Bakugou yelled walking a few steps away with his palms on the back of his head. He was just yelling whatever he thought, because he didn't want her to read his mind.
"Because... I knew you would be angry and I just... I didn't want to lose you Katsuki." She whispered, hiding her eyes in her palms.
"Lose me..."
"Then why now huh?! Why not just keep your little secret?!" He asked, pushing away any nagging feeling of pity for her or guilt for yelling.
"Because..." She bit her lip. What was she supposed to say? Making out with him made her realize that she may or may not be in love with him? That she knew she would never be able to forgive herself if they went any farther (whether sexually or emotionally) without him knowing her quirk. "Because I..."
He stared at her, then glanced at the bed. It genuinely felt like days ago. Like the kiss that had been so consuming and so passionate had been ages ago.
It hadn't even been five minutes.
"Was it because of the fucking kiss?"
Kira's face turned red from embarrassment and she looked away, nodding slightly. Bakugou scoffed and Kira felt hot embarrassment flare up. Causing her to cry even more. 'stop fucking crying Kira.' She thought, rubbing her eyes.
"I just thought... If we kept going like that... If our relationship was going to change... You deserved to know." She said, head hung low. It was funny, just a few minutes ago she had felt such a high of positive emotions. Emotions that Bakugou had made her feel.
Now everything was negative, and it really was all her fault.
"I think we can fucking agree. That I deserved to know from the very beginning."
Katsuki said. He was still angry, but he had passed over his rage. He didn't want to yell anymore, just... He didn't know what he wanted.
"I know. I'm sorry." Kira whispered. Bakugou just stared at her, a part of his heart broke when he saw her. She looked so distraught. So broken.
But he couldn't just forget this. He couldn't just move on like nothing happened. His entire relationship with this girl had been completely destroyed. He didn't know what to believe anymore really.
He had trusted her and she had lied to him, over and over again. And he didn't even know why. "Why?"
"I could tell you why." Kira said, looking up. She looked almost hopeful, like if she could explain herself it would make everything better.
But the moment she responded to something he had thought. The moment she showed just how real her quirk was. Just how easy it was for her to invade his mind and his privacy.
That made him mad again.
"Save it." Katsuki snapped. "I don't want to fucking hear it."
"Okay." Kira whispered. She felt horrible, she felt small. She felt like she was dying.
"And you don't have to fucking worry about my feelings or our 'relationship' going anywhere alright? Cus I'm fucking done."
He snapped.
"Kat-" before Kira could do anything. Before she could grab him and beg him to stay with her... He left, she heard her apartment door slam behind him and he was gone in a fury of angry thoughts.
Most of it was him thinking about wanting to be alone with just his thoughts and no one else.
She felt like he had meant it. There was no lie in him when he said those last few words.
"I'm fucking done."
Kira sunk to the floor, she wasn't just crying anymore. She was sobbing. It had been years since she cried this hard, so hard her entire body practically convulsed. Her face was twisted until she was just a creature of pure grief and mental agony. She couldn't see through the tears and mascara around her eyes. She clutched the fabric of her tank top over her heart. She felt broken.
Bakugou Katsuki had just broken her heart.
She hadn't even realized he had her heart in the first place. But now it was shattered and it was all her fault. She couldn't even blame him for this. She shouldn't have said anything, she should have just kept going how they were. She had hidden her quirk this long, she could have kept going.
She felt like she was dying. Or maybe it was that she wanted to die. She didn't know, she just wanted the pain in her chest to fade. She wanted the cloud over her head to stop suffocating her. She wanted things to be the same as they had been, or she wanted to cease to exist completely.
It had been ages since she felt this much grief and pain. It wasn't much compared to the loss of her parents, but it felt like the loss of a friend.
The loss of a future with her best friend. All because of her quirk. All because of her secrets.
All because of her.
She sunk lower than her knees until her body was pressed up against the floor. She curled up in a fetal position and just sobbed for hours. She didn't get up as the sun set. She didn't move as the clock ticked forward, later and later into the night. She sat there, dead on her floor.
Miso came in at some point. The kitten pounced on her foot, then crawled up her body. Curious as to why she didn't move and why she wasn't on her bed. The cat licked her tear streaked cheeks and then finally gave up. Curling up on her neck and falling asleep while purring against her jaw.
The jaw Bakugou had gently kissed.
He had been so kind, so careful with her. He was so sweet and beautifully broken. He deserved better than her.
Kira was a hypocritical liar and a coward. She knew it, and now he did too.
Kira didn't move until morning.
A/N: How I feel posting an a/n after writing this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rnw-TRbTng8
I formally apologize for any mental harm this chapter may have caused you.
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