My L O V E L Y Roommate Mxm
A/N: March 20, 2023
Hello everyone! If you haven't seen the previous chapter, My Lovely Roommate has been published as a paperback and ebook!!! You can find the link in my Wattpad or Instagram bio or simply type "my lovely roommate by I.J Hidee" on Amazon.
I wrote this book years ago and I'm super happy to finally see it become a physical book 🥹❤️ hope you enjoy!
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"We're roommates," smiled Jax boldly, his eyes on me as if he was reading my mind. "We moved in together after graduation."
"Wow, just like that?" Asked Layla. Her eyes flickered from me to Jax before biting her lip coated in ruby red. "Say, are you two perhaps...?"
The three of them eagerly looked at us and I was almost excited to hear Jax's answer.
"Come on, Layla, are you implying that I'm a fag?" snorted Jax, my heart crushed within a few seconds. Layla's brow arched at the last word. "Why do you look so surprised, you guys used to always call him that."
He then looked towards the two other boys.
"We aren't all going to acting like we didn't bully him, are we?" He laughed with almost an edge to his voice. "And it's not like Ji Hoon's going to care anyway. It's all in the past, no hard feelings."
Jax's words were almost an encouragement and Layla was the first to speak up, the look in her green eyes taking a vicious turn.
"Don't you get scared sometimes?" She asked, when she should be asking me that question. "I'm not sure if this is entirely true, but I heard that liking the same gender could be contagious." She threw me a look. "No offense John-"
"Ji Hoon," I mumbled, but she was too busy admiring the model sitting beside him.
"I wonder how guys even have- You know," said Sam, waving his hand obnoxiously as he teamed up with Layla. "Like, what goes where? I mean, they only have one hole, and it's pretty disgusting if you think about it." Another glance. "No offence Ji Hoon, like, I'm totally not against the LGBT community or anything. I just find it... Strange."
I could tell that he wanted to use a different adjective but restrained himself. I opened my mouth but nothing came out, as if the words were stuck in my throat, which is when I noticed that I was clenching my fists so tightly on my lap that they were trembling.
Getting over the past wasn't something that was easy, especially when those events left such a huge impact. I could feel their eyes drills holes, staring at me with worried faces that masked a dirty sneer.
I should have never followed Jax here, why in the world did I think we'd have a nice time out?
̶T̶o̶b̶y̶ ̶T̶o̶b̶y̶ ̶T̶o̶b̶y̶ ̶T̶o̶b̶y̶. Maybe I can ask Lola to come pick me up. Yeah, but my phone is in my car.
"What, have you never tried anal before?" Asked Jax, suddenly taking my defense and breaking the silence as he turned towards Sam. Kevin spit out the water he was drinking and quickly apologized, his faux pas making him flustered.
"Wow, you're just like Ji Hoon," mused Jax, referring to how I always spit things. "You've really lost your game if you haven't had anal before. Oh, my bad, perhaps you're still a virgin."
Sam's face burned bright red from his neck all the way to his hairline, both embarrassed and angry, but Jax didn't care.
"So, what are you three studying? Are you doing anything interesting with your lives?" He asked casually, pouring himself a cup of water and taking a sip.
No one could make drinking water and being obnoxious as classy and sexy as Jax did. Hell, he could be drinking wine with that lopsided grin and relaxed pose of his.
"Economics, but I'm thinking of changing majors," said Layla, the first to answer. "Kevin is taking a year off and Sam is re-doing his first year."
"So basically nothing," said Jax. I almost laughed. "Then again, all you three did was copy off of Ji Hoon's homework back in high school, you can't really blame anyone else but for being failures."
Layla's grip slowly loosened around Jax while Sam narrowed his eyes.
"Hey, you did the same," he snarled. "You're no better than us."
"Right, I'm way worse," he grinned, speaking as if he genuinely meant it. "But the difference between you and me, is that I'm not a broke virgin who's still living with his parents."
Sam's mouth dropped in shock and my eyes widened. What was Jax doing? He was normally the one bullying me, not the one taking my side.
But shit, I shouldn't be enjoying this so much.
The feeling of having Jax by my side felt empowering; safe even.
Jax's phone suddenly buzzed and he looked at the screen, raising his brows. "Oh my, seems like I'm going to have to leave our little reunion early," he said. "My girlfriend seems to be a little lonely without me."
"But the food," frowned Layla.
He stood up from the booth and glanced over his shoulder. "Enjoy your meal. Like I said, the bills on me," Jax smiled. "But you should be used to it by now, the three of you are always leeching off of other people's money anyway. Right, Ji Hoon?"
Astonished, I nodded stiffly and could hardly find my voice."Right."
The tension in the air intensified, Sam's anger unable to match the haughty atmosphere around Jax. Layla looked like she was both hurt and turned on, while Kevin seemed confused and guilty. I sat there, not really knowing what to do or say. Jax never took my side before, not like this, so I didn't know how to react.
"Come on," said Jax, looking at me.
My back straightened and I quickly slid out the booth, glancing at my old school bullies one last time.
They looked pitiful.
And that was the greatest revenge I could ever get. Best thing about it, was it was all their fault.
I scurried out of the restaurant to catch up to Jax. We got in his car and he drove out of the parking lot, onto the main road in complete silence. My palms were sweaty and I kept fidgeting, eyes indecisive on where to look at.
"Why did you do that?" I whispered weakly.
"I told you that I'd apologise."
I bit my lower lip. So that was his way of apologising?
"You've been having nightmares, and you talk in your sleep. Do you think I like hearing you blabber about Sam at 3 in the morning?"
Was that why he brought them out? Because of my nightmares? He did all of this for me? So that I could get closure from my past?
"Ji Hoon," he said, eyes still on the road. "If you think I'm capable of such menial emotions like love, or empathy, then you're sorely mistaken."
His gaze never felt so distant before, those eyes that both threaten and adore.
"But for some reason," he murmured, his blue eyes flickering towards me. "You bother me."
My emotions were all jumbled up, pixels of memories from the past flashing through my mind as the feeling in my stomach started to worsen. Now that I was out of there, I realised just how nervous I really was.
"Jax," I murmured weakly, unable to hold it in anymore. "Jax, can you stop the car?"
He didn't answer.
"Jax," I begged, feeling sick. "The car."
My stomach lurched.
"Jax-"
He sighed, stopping the car onto the side of a small road and I quickly opened the door, only able to take a few steps away from the car before bending over and vomiting. My stomach lurched as choked and gagged.
Once I expelled everything, my head felt airy, sweat trickling down the goosebumps on my skin. I wiped the saliva dribbling down my lip with the back of my hand, heaving heavily. My entire body felt cold, as if the temperature around me lowered drastically within seconds, a gentle breeze enough make me tremble uncontrollably. I didn't know what was happening to my body, maybe it was some kind of post-trauma effect that I wasn't aware of, but I couldn't seem to control myself.
I slowly turned around with a tightened jaw, eyes meeting Jax's. He stood there, leaning against the hood of his car with his arms crossed over his chest, one leg in front of the other. I had to squint my eyes, the head light almost blinding my view. Jax was nothing but a shadowed figure, standing in the dark like the mystery he was, while I stood in the light; exposed as always.
He didn't ask if I was okay, he didn't offer a tissue or even bothered comforting me. Why? Because he was Jax.
Simple as that.
I had to get over the fact that I would probably never receive an apology from Jax. He wasn't human enough to care.
I had to get over the fact that he would remain a dark shadow that cast over my life, a mysterious figure with concealed secrets that would never be shared, at least not with someone as insignificant to his eyes as me.
Yet, despite these realities, these facts, these statements that emphasized the miserable state of my life that proved the impossibility of being with one so destructive and toxic, I couldn't find myself to hate him. What he did tonight was greater than any apology anyone could ever offer.
Just because he couldn't say "I'm sorry", I knew that he tried. He showed his emotions in his own way, as Jax. I don't think I would have even taken him seriously if he gave me a superficial apology like most people do.
Even if everything was calculated and manipulatively prepared, only Jax was capable of giving me such absolute and satisfying justice.
̶I̶ ̶f̶o̶r̶g̶i̶v̶e̶ ̶h̶i̶m̶. What a manipulative bastard.
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Q/A: What do you think of Jax's behaviour? Do you think it meant something? Room for character development? Of him just being toxic and manipulative? I'd love to know your thoughts on this!
BTW I made a My Lovely Roommate inspired playlist on Spotify for those who'd like to follow and listen :) the link is in my bio but you can also find me by typing "Hidee" or "My Lovely Roommate" in the search bar. If you have any song recommendations to add to the playlist, feel free to leave them in the comments 🫶
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