Untitled Part 24
Kreacher, it transpired, had been lurking in the attic.Sirius said he had found him up there, covered in dust, nodoubt looking for more relics of the Black family to hide inhis cupboard. Though Sirius seemed satisfied with thisstory, it made Harry uneasy. Kreacher seemed to be in abetter mood on his reappearance, his bitter muttering hadsubsided somewhat, and he submitted to orders moredocilely than usual, though once or twice Harry caught thehouse-elf staring avidly at him, always looking quickly awaywhen he saw that Harry had noticed.
Harry did not mention his vague suspicions to Sirius,whose cheerfulness was evaporating fast now thatChristmas was over. As the date of their departure back toHogwarts drew nearer, he became more and more prone towhat Mrs. Weasley called "fits of the sullens," in which hewould become taciturn and grumpy, often withdrawing toBuckbeak's room for hours at a time. His gloom seepedthrough the house, oozing under doorways like somenoxious gas, so that all of them became infected by it.
Harry did not want to leave Sirius all alone again withonly Kreacher for company. In fact, for the first time in hislife, he was not looking forward to returning to Hogwarts.Going back to school would mean placing himself onceagain under the tyranny of Dolores Umbridge, who had nodoubt managed to force through another dozen decrees intheir absence. Then there was no Quidditch to look forwardto now that he had been banned; there was every likelihoodthat their burden of homework would increase as the examsdrew even nearer; Dumbledore remained as remote asever; in fact, if it had not been for the D.A., Harry felt hemight have gone to Sirius and begged him to let him leaveHogwarts and remain in Grimmauld Place.
Then, on the very last day of the holidays, somethinghappened that made Harry positively dread his return toschool.
"Harry dear," said Mrs. Weasley, poking her head into hisand Ron's bedroom, where the pair of them were playingwizard chess watched by Hermione, Ginny, andCrookshanks, "could you come down to the kitchen?Professor Snape would like a word with you."
Harry did not immediately register what she had said;one of his castles was engaged in a violent tussle with apawn of Ron's, and he was egging it on enthusiastically.
"Squash him — squash him, he's only a pawn, you idiot —sorry, Mrs. Weasley, what did you say?"
"Professor Snape, dear. In the kitchen. He'd like a word."
Harry's mouth fell open in horror. He looked around atRon, Hermione, and Ginny, all of whom were gaping back athim. Crookshanks, whom Hermione had been restrainingwith difficulty for the past quarter of an hour, leapt gleefullyupon the board and set the pieces running for cover,squealing at the top of their voices.
"Snape?" said Harry blankly.
"Professor Snape, dear," said Mrs. Weasley reprovingly."Now come on, quickly, he says he can't stay long."
"What's he want with you?" said Ron, looking unnerved asMrs. Weasley withdrew from the room.
"You haven't done anything, have you?"
"No!" said Harry indignantly, racking his brains to thinkwhat he could have done that would make Snape pursuehim to Grimmauld Place. Had his last piece of homeworkperhaps earned a T?
He pushed open the kitchen door a minute or two later tofind Sirius and Snape both seated at the long kitchen table,glaring in opposite directions. The silence between themwas heavy with mutual dislike. A letter lay open on the tablein front of Sirius.
"Er," said Harry to announce his presence.
Snape looked around at him, his face framed betweencurtains of greasy black hair.
"Sit down, Potter."
"You know," said Sirius loudly, leaning back on his rearchair legs and speaking to the ceiling, "I think I'd prefer it ifyou didn't give orders here, Snape. It's my house, you see."
An ugly flush suffused Snape's pallid face. Harry sat downin a chair beside Sirius, facing Snape across the table.
"I was supposed to see you alone, Potter," said Snape, thefamiliar sneer curling his mouth, "but Black —"
"I'm his godfather," said Sirius, louder than ever.
"I am here on Dumbledore's orders," said Snape, whosevoice, by contrast, was becoming more and more quietlywaspish, "but by all means stay, Black, I know you like tofeel ... involved."
"What's that supposed to mean?" said Sirius, letting hischair fall back onto all four legs with a loud bang.
"Merely that I am sure you must feel — ah — frustratedby the fact that you can do nothing useful," Snape laid adelicate stress on the word, "for the Order."
It was Sirius's turn to flush. Snape's lip curled in triumphas he turned to Harry.
"The headmaster has sent me to tell you, Potter, that it ishis wish for you to study Occlumency this term."
"Study what?" said Harry blankly.
Snape's sneer became more pronounced.
"Occlumency, Potter. The magical defense of the mindagainst external penetration. An obscure branch of magic,but a highly useful one."
Harry's heart began to pump very fast indeed. Defenseagainst external penetration? But he was not beingpossessed, they had all agreed on that. ...
"Why do I have to study Occlu — thing?" he blurted out.
"Because the headmaster thinks it a good idea," saidSnape smoothly. "You will receive private lessons once aweek, but you will not tell anybody what you are doing,least of all Dolores Umbridge. You understand?"
"Yes," said Harry. "Who's going to be teaching me?"
Snape raised an eyebrow.
"I am," he said.
Harry had the horrible sensation that his insides weremelting. Extra lessons with Snape — what on earth had hedone to deserve this? He looked quickly around at Sirius forsupport.
"Why can't Dumbledore teach Harry?" asked Siriusaggressively. "Why you?"
"I suppose because it is a headmaster's privilege todelegate less enjoyable tasks," said Snape silkily. "I assureyou I did not beg for the job." He got to his feet. "I willexpect you at six o'clock on Monday evening, Potter. Myoffice. If anybody asks, you are taking Remedial Potions.Nobody who has seen you in my classes could deny youneed them."
He turned to leave, his black traveling cloak billowingbehind him.
"Wait a moment," said Sirius, sitting up straighter in hischair.
Snape turned back to face them, sneering.
"I am in rather a hurry, Black ... unlike you, I do not haveunlimited leisure time. ..."
"I'll get to the point, then," said Sirius, standing up. Hewas rather taller than Snape who, Harry noticed, hadballed his fist in the pocket of his cloak over what Harry wassure was the handle of his wand. "If I hear you're usingthese Occlumency lessons to give Harry a hard time, you'llhave me to answer to."
"How touching," Snape sneered. "But surely you havenoticed that Potter is very like his father?"
"Yes, I have," said Sirius proudly.
"Well then, you'll know he's so arrogant that criticismsimply bounces off him," Snape said sleekly.
Sirius pushed his chair roughly aside and strode aroundthe table toward Snape, pulling out his wand as he went;Snape whipped out his own. They were squaring up to eachother, Sirius looking livid, Snape calculating, his eyesdarting from Sirius's wand tip to his face.
"Sirius!" said Harry loudly, but Sirius appeared not tohear him.
"I've warned you, Snivellus," said Sirius, his face barely afoot from Snape's, "I don't care if Dumbledore thinks you'vereformed, I know better —"
"Oh, but why don't you tell him so?" whispered Snape."Or are you afraid he might not take the advice of a manwho has been hiding inside his mother's house for sixmonths very seriously?"
"Tell me, how is Lucius Malfoy these days? I expect he'sdelighted his lapdog's working at Hogwarts, isn't he?"
"Speaking of dogs," said Snape softly, "did you know thatLucius Malfoy recognized you last time you risked a littlejaunt outside? Clever idea, Black, getting yourself seen on asafe station platform ... gave you a cast-iron excuse not toleave your hidey-hole in future, didn't it?"
Sirius raised his wand.
"NO!" Harry yelled, vaulting over the table and trying toget in between them, "Sirius, don't —"
"Are you calling me a coward?" roared Sirius, trying topush Harry out of the way, but Harry would not budge.
"Why, yes, I suppose I am," said Snape.
"Harry — get — out — of — it!" snarled Sirius, pushinghim out of the way with his free hand.
The kitchen door opened and the entire Weasley family,plus Hermione, came inside, all looking very happy, with Mr.Weasley walking proudly in their midst dressed in a pair ofstriped pajamas covered by a mackintosh.
"Cured!" he announced brightly to the kitchen at large."Completely cured!"
He and all the other Weasleys froze on the threshold,gazing at the scene in front of them, which was alsosuspended in mid-action, both Sirius and Snape lookingtoward the door with their wands pointing into each other'sfaces and Harry immobile between them, a hand stretchedout to each of them, trying to force them apart.
"Merlin's beard," said Mr. Weasley, the smile sliding off hisface, "what's going on here?"
Both Sirius and Snape lowered their wands. Harry lookedfrom one to the other. Each wore an expression of utmostcontempt, yet the unexpected entrance of so manywitnesses seemed to have brought them to their senses.Snape pocketed his wand and swept back across thekitchen, passing the Weasleys without comment. At the doorhe looked back.
"Six o'clock Monday evening, Potter."
He was gone. Sirius glared after him, his wand at his side.
"But what's been going on?" asked Mr. Weasley again.
"Nothing, Arthur," said Sirius, who was breathing heavilyas though he had just run a long distance. "Just a friendlylittle chat between two old school friends. ..." With whatlooked like an enormous effort, he smiled. "So ... you'recured? That's great news, really great. ..."
"Yes, isn't it?" said Mrs. Weasley, leading her husbandforward into a chair. "Healer Smethwyck worked his magicin the end, found an antidote to whatever that snake's gotin its fangs, and Arthur's learned his lesson about dabblingin Muggle medicine, haven't you, dear?" she added, rathermenacingly.
"Yes, Molly dear," said Mr. Weasley meekly.
That night's meal should have been a cheerful one withMr. Weasley back amongst them; Harry could tell Sirius wastrying to make it so, yet when his godfather was not forcinghimself to laugh loudly at Fred and George's jokes oroffering everyone more food, his face fell back into a moody,brooding expression. Harry was separated from him byMundungus and Mad-Eye, who had dropped in to offer Mr.Weasley their congratulations; he wanted to talk to Sirius,to tell him that he should not listen to a word Snape said,that Snape was goading him deliberately and that the restof them did not think Sirius was a coward for doing asDumbledore told him and remaining in Grimmauld Place,but he had no opportunity to do so, and wonderedoccasionally, eyeing the ugly look on Sirius's face, whetherhe would have dared to even if he had the chance. Insteadhe told Ron and Hermione under his voice about having totake Occlumency lessons with Snape.
"Dumbledore wants to stop you having those dreamsabout Voldemort," said Hermione at once. "Well, you won'tbe sorry not to have them anymore, will you?"
"Extra lessons with Snape?" said Ron, sounding aghast."I'd rather have the nightmares!"
They were to return to Hogwarts on the Knight Bus thefollowing day, escorted once again by Tonks and Lupin, bothof whom were eating breakfast in the kitchen when Harry,Ron, and Hermione arrived there next morning. The adultsseemed to have been midway through a whisperedconversation when the door opened; all of them lookedaround hastily and fell silent.
After a hurried breakfast they pulled on jackets andscarves against the chilly gray January morning. Harry hadan unpleasant constricted sensation in his chest; he did notwant to say good-bye to Sirius. He had a bad feeling aboutthis parting; he did not know when they would next seeeach other and felt that it was incumbent upon him to saysomething to Sirius to stop him doing anything stupid —Harry was worried that Snape's accusation of cowardicehad stung Sirius so badly he might even now be planningsome foolhardy trip beyond Grimmauld Place. Before hecould think of what to say, however, Sirius had beckonedhim to his side.
"I want you to take this," he said quietly, thrusting a badlywrapped package roughly the size of a paperback book intoHarry's hands.
"What is it?" Harry asked.
"A way of letting me know if Snape's giving you a hardtime. No, don't open it in here!" said Sirius, with a warylook at Mrs. Weasley, who was trying to persuade the twinsto wear hand-knitted mittens. "I doubt Molly would approve— but I want you to use it if you need me, all right?"
"Okay," said Harry, stowing the package away in theinside pocket of his jacket, but he knew he would never usewhatever it was. It would not be he, Harry, who lured Siriusfrom his place of safety, no matter how foully Snape treatedhim in their forthcoming Occlumency classes.
"Let's go, then," said Sirius, clapping Harry on theshoulder and smiling grimly, and before Harry could sayanything else, they were heading upstairs, stopping beforethe heavily chained and bolted front door, surrounded byWeasleys.
"Good-bye, Harry, take care," said Mrs. Weasley, hugginghim.
"See you Harry, and keep an eye out for snakes for me!"said Mr. Weasley genially, shaking his hand.
"Right — yeah," said Harry distractedly. It was his lastchance to tell Sirius to be careful; he turned, looked into hisgodfather's face and opened his mouth to speak, but beforehe could do so Sirius was giving him a brief, one-armedhug. He said gruffly, "Look after yourself, Harry," and nextmoment Harry found himself being shunted out into the icywinter air, with Tonks (today heavily disguised as a tall,tweedy woman with iron-gray hair) chivvying him down thesteps.
The door of number twelve slammed shut behind them.They followed Lupin down the front steps. As he reachedthe pavement, Harry looked around. Number twelve wasshrinking rapidly as those on either side of it stretchedsideways, squeezing it out of sight; one blink later, it hadgone.
"Come on, the quicker we get on the bus the better," saidTonks, and Harry thought there was nervousness in theglance she threw around the square. Lupin flung out hisright arm.
BANG.
A violently purple, triple-decker bus had appeared out ofthin air in front of them, narrowly avoiding the nearestlamppost, which jumped backward out of its way.
A thin, pimply, jug-eared youth in a purple uniform leaptdown onto the pavement and said, "Welcome to the —"
"Yes, yes, we know, thank you," said Tonks swiftly. "On, on,get on —"
And she shoved Harry forward toward the steps, past theconductor, who goggled at Harry as he passed.
" 'Ere — it's 'Arry — !"
"If you shout his name I will curse you into oblivion,"muttered Tonks menacingly, now shunting Ginny andHermione forward.
"I've always wanted to go on this thing," said Ron happily,joining Harry on board and looking around.
It had been evening the last time Harry had traveled byKnight Bus and its three decks had been full of brassbedsteads. Now, in the early morning, it was crammed withan assortment of mismatched chairs grouped haphazardlyaround windows. Some of these appeared to have fallenover when the bus stopped abruptly in Grimmauld Place; afew witches and wizards were still getting to their feet,grumbling, and somebody's shopping bag had slid thelength of the bus; an unpleasant mixture of frog spawn,cockroaches, and custard creams was scattered all over thefloor.
"Looks like we'll have to split up," said Tonics briskly,looking around for empty chairs. "Fred, George, and Ginny,if you just take those seats at the back ... Remus can staywith you. ..."
She, Harry, Ron, and Hermione proceeded up to the verytop deck, where there were two chairs at the very front ofthe bus and two at the back. Stan Shunpike, the conductor,followed Harry and Ron eagerly to the back. Heads turnedas Harry passed and when he sat down, he saw all the facesflick back to the front again.
As Harry and Ron handed Stan eleven Sickles each, thebus set off again, swaying ominously. It rumbled aroundGrimmauld Square, weaving on and off the pavement, then,with another tremendous BANG, they were all flungbackward; Ron's chair toppled right over and Pigwidgeon,who had been on his lap, burst out of his cage and flewtwittering wildly up to the front of the bus where hefluttered down upon Hermione's shoulder instead. Harry,who had narrowly avoided falling by seizing a candlebracket, looked out of the window: they were now speedingdown what appeared to be a motorway.
"Just outside Birmingham," said Stan happily, answeringHarry's unasked question as Ron struggled up from thefloor. "You keepin' well, then, 'Arry? I seen your name in thepaper loads over the summer, but it weren't never nuffinkvery nice. ... I said to Ern, I said, ''e didn't seem like anutter when we met 'im, just goes to show, dunnit?' "
He handed over their tickets and continued to gaze,enthralled, at Harry; apparently Stan did not care hownutty somebody was if they were famous enough to be inthe paper. The Knight Bus swayed alarmingly, overtaking aline of cars on the inside. Looking toward the front of thebus Harry saw Hermione cover her eyes with her hands,Pigwidgeon still swaying happily on her shoulder.
BANG.
Chairs slid backward again as the Knight Bus jumpedfrom the Birmingham motorway to a quiet country lane fullof hairpin bends. Hedgerows on either side of the roadwere leaping out of their way as they mounted the verges.From here they moved to a main street in the middle of abusy town, then to a viaduct surrounded by tall hills, then toa windswept road between high-rise flats, each time with aloud BANG.
"I've changed my mind," muttered Ron, picking himselfup from the floor for the sixth time, "I never want to ride onhere again."
"Listen, it's 'Ogwarts stop after this," said Stan brightly,swaying toward them. "That bossy woman up front 'oo goton with you, she's given us a little tip to move you up thequeue. We're just gonna let Madam Marsh off first, though—" There was more retching from downstairs, followed by ahorrible spattering sound. "She's not feeling 'er best."
A few minutes later the Knight Bus screeched to a haltoutside a small pub, which squeezed itself out of the way toavoid a collision. They could hear Stan ushering theunfortunate Madam Marsh out of the bus and the relievedmurmurings of her fellow passengers on the second deck.The bus moved on again, gathering speed, until —
BANG.
They were rolling through a snowy Hogsmeade. Harrycaught a glimpse of the Hog's Head down its side street, thesevered boar's head sign creaking in the wintry wind.Flecks of snow hit the large window at the front of the bus.At last they rolled to a halt outside the gates to Hogwarts.
Lupin and Tonks helped them off the bus with theirluggage and then got off to say good-bye. Harry glanced upat the three decks of the Knight Bus and saw all thepassengers staring down at them, noses flat against thewindows.
"You'll be safe once you're in the grounds," said Tonks,casting a careful eye around at the deserted road. "Have agood term, okay?"
"Look after yourselves," said Lupin, shaking hands allround and reaching Harry last. "And listen ..." He loweredhis voice while the rest of them exchanged last-minutegood-byes with Tonks, "Harry, I know you don't like Snape,but he is a superb Occlumens and we all — Sirius included— want you to learn to protect yourself, so work hard, allright?"
"Yeah, all right," said Harry heavily, looking up intoLupin's prematurely lined face. "See you, then ..."
The six of them struggled up the slippery drive toward thecastle dragging their trunks. Hermione was already talkingabout knitting a few elf hats before bedtime. Harry glancedback when they reached the oak front doors; the KnightBus had already gone, and he half-wished, given what wascoming the following day, that he was still on board.
Harry spent most of the next day dreading the evening.His morning Potions lesson did nothing to dispel histrepidation, as Snape was as unpleasant as ever, andHarry's mood was further lowered by the fact thatmembers of the D.A. were continually approaching him inthe corridors between classes, asking hopefully whetherthere would be a meeting that night.
"I'll let you know when the next one is," Harry said overand over again, "but I can't do it tonight, I've got to go to —er — Remedial Potions. ..."
"You take Remedial Potions?" asked Zacharias Smithsuperciliously, having cornered Harry in the entrance hallafter lunch. "Good Lord, you must be terrible, Snapedoesn't usually give extra lessons, does he?"
As Smith strode away in an annoyingly buoyant fashion,Ron glared after him.
"Shall I jinx him? I can still get him from here," he said,raising his wand and taking aim between Smith's shoulderblades.
"Forget it," said Harry dismally. "It's what everyone'sgoing to think, isn't it? That I'm really stup —"
"Hi, Harry," said a voice behind him. He turned aroundand found Cho standing there.
"Oh," said Harry as his stomach leapt uncomfortably. "Hi."
"We'll be in the library, Harry," said Hermione firmly, andshe seized Ron above the elbow and dragged him offtoward the marble staircase.
"Had a good Christmas?" asked Cho.
"Yeah, not bad," said Harry.
"Mine was pretty quiet," said Cho. For some reason, shewas looking rather embarrassed. "Erm ... there's anotherHogsmeade trip next month, did you see the notice?"
"What? Oh no, I haven't checked the notice board since Igot back. ..."
"Yes, it's on Valentine's Day. ..."
"Right," said Harry, wondering why she was telling himthis. "Well, I suppose you want to — ?"
"Only if you do," she said eagerly.
Harry stared. He had been about to say "I suppose youwant to know when the next D.A. meeting is?" but herresponse did not seem to fit.
"I — er —" he said.
"Oh, it's okay if you don't," she said, looking mortified."Don't worry. I-I'll see you around."
She walked away. Harry stood staring after her, his brainworking frantically. Then something clunked into place.
"Cho! Hey — CHO!"
He ran after her, catching her halfway up the marblestaircase.
"Er — d'you want to come into Hogsmeade with me onValentine's Day?"
"Oooh, yes!" she said, blushing crimson and beaming athim.
"Right ... well ... that's settled then," said Harry, andfeeling that the day was not going to be a complete lossafter all, he headed off to the library to pick up Ron andHermione before their afternoon lessons, walking in arather bouncy way himself.
By six o'clock that evening, however, even the glow ofhaving successfully asked out Cho Chang was insufficient tolighten the ominous feelings that intensified with every stepHarry took toward Snape's office.
He paused outside the door when he reached it, wishinghe were almost anywhere else, then, taking a deep breath,knocked, and entered.
It was a shadowy room lined with shelves bearinghundreds of glass jars in which floated slimy bits of animalsand plants, suspended in variously colored potions. In acorner stood the cupboard full of ingredients that Snapehad once accused Harry — not without reason — ofrobbing. Harry's attention was drawn toward the desk,however, where a shallow stone basin engraved with runesand symbols lay in a pool of candlelight. Harry recognized itat once — Dumbledore's Pensieve. Wondering what onearth it was doing here, he jumped when Snape's cold voicecame out of the corner.
"Shut the door behind you, Potter."
Harry did as he was told with the horrible feeling that hewas imprisoning himself as he did so. When he turned backto face the room Snape had moved into the light and waspointing silently at the chair opposite his desk. Harry satdown and so did Snape, his cold black eyes fixedunblinkingly upon Harry, dislike etched in every line of hisface.
"Well, Potter, you know why you are here," he said. "Theheadmaster has asked me to teach you Occlumency. I canonly hope that you prove more adept at it than Potions."
"Right," said Harry tersely.
"This may not be an ordinary class, Potter," said Snape,his eyes narrowed malevolently, "but I am still your teacherand you will therefore call me 'sir' or 'Professor' at alltimes."
"Yes ... sir," said Harry.
"Now, Occlumency. As I told you back in your deargodfather's kitchen, this branch of magic seals the mindagainst magical intrusion and influence."
"And why does Professor Dumbledore think I need it, sir?"said Harry, looking directly into Snape's dark, cold eyes andwondering whether he would answer.
Snape looked back at him for a moment and then saidcontemptuously, "Surely even you could have worked thatout by now, Potter? The Dark Lord is highly skilled atLegilimency —"
"What's that? Sir?"
"It is the ability to extract feelings and memories fromanother person's mind —"
"He can read minds?" said Harry quickly, his worst fearsconfirmed.
"You have no subtlety, Potter," said Snape, his dark eyesglittering. "You do not understand fine distinctions. It is oneof the shortcomings that makes you such a lamentablepotion-maker."
Snape paused for a moment, apparently to savor thepleasure of insulting Harry, before continuing, "OnlyMuggles talk of 'mind reading.' The mind is not a book, tobe opened at will and examined at leisure. Thoughts are notetched on the inside of skulls, to be perused by any invader.The mind is a complex and many-layered thing, Potter ... orat least, most minds are. ..." He smirked. "It is true,however, that those who have mastered Legilimency areable, under certain conditions, to delve into the minds oftheir victims and to interpret their findings correctly. TheDark Lord, for instance, almost always knows whensomebody is lying to him. Only those skilled at Occlumencyare able to shut down those feelings and memories thatcontradict the lie, and so utter falsehoods in his presencewithout detection."
Whatever Snape said, Legilimency sounded like mindreading to Harry and he did not like the sound of it at all.
"So he could know what we're thinking right now? Sir?"
"The Dark Lord is at a considerable distance and the wallsand grounds of Hogwarts are guarded by many ancientspells and charms to ensure the bodily and mental safety ofthose who dwell within them," said Snape. "Time and spacematter in magic, Potter. Eye contact is often essential toLegilimency."
"Well then, why do I have to learn Occlumency?"
Snape eyed Harry, tracing his mouth with one long, thinfinger as he did so.
"The usual rules do not seem to apply with you, Potter.The curse that failed to kill you seems to have forged somekind of connection between you and the Dark Lord. Theevidence suggests that at times, when your mind is mostrelaxed and vulnerable — when you are asleep, for instance— you are sharing the Dark Lord's thoughts and emotions.The headmaster thinks it inadvisable for this to continue.He wishes me to teach you how to close your mind to theDark Lord."
Harry's heart was pumping fast again. None of this addedup.
"But why does Professor Dumbledore want to stop it?" heasked abruptly. "I don't like it much, but it's been useful,hasn't it? I mean ... I saw that snake attack Mr. Weasley andif I hadn't, Professor Dumbledore wouldn't have been ableto save him, would he? Sir?"
Snape stared at Harry for a few moments, still tracing hismouth with his finger. When he spoke again, it was slowlyand deliberately, as though he weighed every word.
"It appears that the Dark Lord has been unaware of theconnection between you and himself until very recently. Uptill now it seems that you have been experiencing hisemotions and sharing his thoughts without his being anythe wiser. However, the vision you had shortly beforeChristmas —"
"The one with the snake and Mr. Weasley?"
"Do not interrupt me, Potter," said Snape in a dangerousvoice. "As I was saying ... the vision you had shortly beforeChristmas represented such a powerful incursion upon theDark Lord's thoughts —"
"I saw inside the snake's head, not his!"
"I thought I just told you not to interrupt me, Potter?"
But Harry did not care if Snape was angry; at last heseemed to be getting to the bottom of this business. He hadmoved forward in his chair so that, without realizing it, hewas perched on the very edge, tense as though poised forflight.
"How come I saw through the snake's eyes if it'sVoldemort's thoughts I'm sharing?"
"Do not say the Dark Lord's name!" spat Snape.
There was a nasty silence. They glared at each otheracross the Pensieve.
"Professor Dumbledore says his name," said Harry quietly."Dumbledore is an extremely powerful wizard," Snapemuttered. "While he may feel secure enough to use thename ... the rest of us ..." He rubbed his left forearm,apparently unconsciously, on the spot where Harry knewthe Dark Mark was burned into his skin.
"I just wanted to know," Harry began again, forcing hisvoice back to politeness, "why —"
"You seem to have visited the snake's mind because thatwas where the Dark Lord was at that particular moment,"snarled Snape. "He was possessing the snake at the timeand so you dreamed you were inside it too. ..."
"And Vol — he — realized I was there?"
"It seems so," said Snape coolly.
"How do you know?" said Harry urgently. "Is this justProfessor Dumbledore guessing, or — ?"
"I told you," said Snape, rigid in his chair, his eyes slits,"to call me 'sir.' "
"Yes, sir," said Harry impatiently, "but how do you know —?"
"It is enough that we know," said Snape repressively. "Theimportant point is that the Dark Lord is now aware that youare gaining access to his thoughts and feelings. He has alsodeduced that the process is likely to work in reverse; that isto say, he has realized that he might be able to access yourthoughts and feelings in return —"
"And he might try and make me do things?" asked Harry."Sir?" he added hurriedly
"He might," said Snape, sounding cold and unconcerned."Which brings us back to Occlumency."
Snape pulled out his wand from an inside pocket of hisrobes and Harry tensed in his chair, but Snape merelyraised the wand to his temple and placed its tip into thegreasy roots of his hair. When he withdrew it, some silverysubstance came away, stretching from temple to wand like athick gossamer strand, which broke as he pulled the wandaway from it and fell gracefully into the Pensieve, where itswirled silvery white, neither gas nor liquid. Twice moreSnape raised the wand to his temple and deposited thesilvery substance into the stone basin, then, withoutoffering any explanation of his behavior, he picked up thePensieve carefully, removed it to a shelf out of their way andreturned to face Harry with his wand held at the ready.
"Stand up and take out your wand, Potter."
Harry got to his feet feeling nervous. They faced eachother with the desk between them.
"You may use your wand to attempt to disarm me, ordefend yourself in any other way you can think of," saidSnape.
"And what are you going to do?" Harry asked, eyeingSnape's wand apprehensively.
"I am about to attempt to break into your mind," saidSnape softly. "We are going to see how well you resist. Ihave been told that you have already shown aptitude atresisting the Imperius Curse. ... You will find that similarpowers are needed for this. ... Brace yourself, now. ...Legilimens!"
Snape had struck before Harry was ready, before Harryhad even begun to summon any force of resistance: theoffice swam in front of his eyes and vanished, image afterimage was racing through his mind like a flickering film sovivid it blinded him to his surroundings. ...
He was five, watching Dudley riding a new red bicycle,and his heart was bursting with jealousy. ... He was nine,and Ripper the bulldog was chasing him up a tree and theDursleys were laughing below on the lawn. ... He wassitting under the Sorting Hat, and it was telling him hewould do well in Slytherin. ... Hermione was lying in thehospital wing, her face covered with thick black hair. ... Ahundred dementors were closing in on him beside the darklake. ... Cho Chang was drawing nearer to him under themistletoe. ...
No, said a voice in Harry's head, as the memory of Chodrew nearer, you're not watching that, you're not watchingit, it's private —
He felt a sharp pain in his knee. Snape's office had comeback into view and he realized that he had fallen to thefloor; one of his knees had collided painfully with the leg ofSnape's desk. He looked up at Snape, who had lowered hiswand and was rubbing his wrist. There was an angry wealthere, like a scorch mark.
"Did you mean to produce a Stinging Hex?" asked Snapecoolly.
"No," said Harry bitterly, getting up from the floor.
"I thought not," said Snape contemptuously. "You let meget in too far. You lost control."
"Did you see everything I saw?" Harry asked, unsurewhether he wanted to hear the answer.
"Flashes of it," said Snape, his lip curling. "To whom didthe dog belong?"
"My Aunt Marge," Harry muttered, hating Snape.
"Well, for a first attempt that was not as poor as it mighthave been," said Snape, raising his wand once more. "Youmanaged to stop me eventually, though you wasted timeand energy shouting. You must remain focused. Repel mewith your brain and you will not need to resort to yourwand."
"I'm trying," said Harry angrily, "but you're not telling mehow!"
"Manners, Potter," said Snape dangerously. "Now, I wantyou to close your eyes."
Harry threw him a filthy look before doing as he was told.He did not like the idea of standing there with his eyes shutwhile Snape faced him, carrying a wand.
"Clear your mind, Potter," said Snape's cold voice. "Let goof all emotion. ..."
But Harry's anger at Snape continued to pound throughhis veins like venom. Let go of his anger? He could as easilydetach his legs. ...
"You're not doing it, Potter. ... You will need morediscipline than this. ... Focus, now. ..."
Harry tried to empty his mind, tried not to think, orremember, or feel. ...
"Let's go again ... on the count of three ... one — two —three — Legilimens!"
A great black dragon was rearing in front of him. ... Hisfather and mother were waving at him out of an enchantedmirror. ... Cedric Diggory was lying on the ground withblank eyes staring at him. ...
"NOOOOOOO!"
He was on his knees again, his face buried in his hands,his brain aching as though someone had been trying to pullit from his skull.
"Get up!" said Snape sharply. "Get up! You are not trying,you are making no effort, you are allowing me access tomemories you fear, handing me weapons!"
Harry stood up again, his heart thumping wildly asthough he had really just seen Cedric dead in thegraveyard. Snape looked paler than usual, and angrier,though not nearly as angry as Harry was.
"I — am — making — an — effort," he said throughclenched teeth.
"I told you to empty yourself of emotion!""Yeah? Well, I'm finding that hard at the moment," Harrysnarled.
"Then you will find yourself easy prey for the Dark Lord!"said Snape savagely. "Fools who wear their hearts proudlyon their sleeves, who cannot control their emotions, whowallow in sad memories and allow themselves to beprovoked this easily — weak people, in other words — theystand no chance against his powers! He will penetrate yourmind with absurd ease, Potter!"
"I am not weak," said Harry in a low voice, fury nowpumping through him so that he thought he might attackSnape in a moment.
"Then prove it! Master yourself!" spat Snape. "Controlyour anger, discipline your mind! We shall try again! Getready, now! Legilimens!"
He was watching Uncle Vernon hammering the letter boxshut. ... A hundred dementors were drifting across the lakein the grounds toward him. ... He was running along awindowless passage with Mr. Weasley. ... They weredrawing nearer to the plain black door at the end of thecorridor. ... Harry expected to go through it ... but Mr.Weasley led him off to the left, down a flight of stone steps....
"I KNOW! I KNOW!"
He was on all fours again on Snape's office floor, his scarwas prickling unpleasantly, but the voice that had justissued from his mouth was triumphant. He pushed himselfup again to find Snape staring at him, his wand raised. Itlooked as though, this time, Snape had lifted the spellbefore Harry had even tried to fight back.
"What happened then, Potter?" he asked, eyeing Harryintently.
"I saw — I remembered," Harry panted. "I've just realized..."
"Realized what?" asked Snape sharply.
Harry did not answer at once; he was still savoring themoment of blinding realization as he rubbed his forehead....
He had been dreaming about a windowless corridorending in a locked door for months, without once realizingthat it was a real place. Now, seeing the memory again, heknew that all along he had been dreaming about thecorridor down which he had run with Mr. Weasley on thetwelfth of August as they hurried to the courtrooms in theMinistry. It was the corridor leading to the Department ofMysteries, and Mr. Weasley had been there the night thathe had been attacked by Voldemort's snake. ...
He looked up at Snape.
"What's in the Department of Mysteries?"
"What did you say?" Snape asked quietly and Harry saw,with deep satisfaction, that Snape was unnerved.
"I said, what's in the Department of Mysteries, sir?" Harrysaid.
"And why," said Snape slowly, "would you ask such athing?"
"Because," said Harry, watching Snape closely for areaction, "that corridor I've just seen — I've been dreamingabout it for months — I've just recognized it — it leads tothe Department of Mysteries ... and I think Voldemort wantssomething from —"
"I have told you not to say the Dark Lord's name!"
They glared at each other. Harry's scar seared again, buthe did not care. Snape looked agitated. When he spokeagain he sounded as though he was trying to appear cooland unconcerned.
There are many things in the Department of Mysteries,Potter, few of which you would understand and none ofwhich concern you, do I make myself plain?"
"Yes," Harry said, still rubbing his prickling scar, whichwas becoming more painful.
"I want you back here same time on Wednesday, and wewill continue work then."
"Fine," said Harry. He was desperate to get out of Snape'soffice and find Ron and Hermione.
"You are to rid your mind of all emotion every nightbefore sleep — empty it, make it blank and calm, youunderstand?"
"Yes," said Harry, who was barely listening.
"And be warned, Potter ... I shall know if you have notpracticed ..."
"Right," Harry mumbled. He picked up his schoolbag,swung it over his shoulder, and hurried toward the officedoor. As he opened it he glanced back at Snape, who hadhis back to Harry and was scooping his own thoughts out ofthe Pensieve with the tip of his wand and replacing themcarefully inside his own head. Harry left without anotherword, closing the door carefully behind him, his scar stillthrobbing painfully.
Harry found Ron and Hermione in the library, where theywere working on Umbridge's most recent ream ofhomework. Other students, nearly all of them fifth years, satat lamp-lit tables nearby, noses close to books, quillsscratching feverishly, while the sky outside the mullionedwindows grew steadily blacker. The only other sound wasthe slight squeaking of one of Madam Pince's shoes as thelibrarian prowled the aisles menacingly, breathing down thenecks of those touching her precious books.
Harry felt shivery; his scar was still aching, he felt almostfeverish. When he sat down opposite Ron and Hermione hecaught sight of himself in the window opposite. He was verywhite, and his scar seemed to be showing up more clearlythan usual.
"How did it go?" Hermione whispered, and then, lookingconcerned, "Are you all right, Harry?"
"Yeah ... fine ... I dunno," said Harry impatiently, wincingas pain shot through his scar again. "Listen ... I've justrealized something. ..."
And he told them what he had just seen and deduced.
"So ... so, are you saying ..." whispered Ron, as MadamPince swept past, squeaking slightly, "that the weapon —the thing You-Know-Who's after — is in the Ministry ofMagic?"
"In the Department of Mysteries, it's got to be," Harrywhispered. "I saw that door when your dad took me downto the courtrooms for my hearing and it's definitely thesame one he was guarding when the snake bit him."
Hermione let out a long, slow sigh. "Of course," shebreathed.
"Of course what?" said Ron rather impatiently."Ron, think about it. ... Sturgis Podmore was trying to getthrough a door at the Ministry of Magic. ... It must havebeen that one, it's too much of a coincidence!"
"How come Sturgis was trying to break in when he's onour side?" said Ron."Well, I don't know," Hermione admitted. "That is a bitodd. ..."
"So what's in the Department of Mysteries?" Harry askedRon.
"Has your dad ever mentioned anything about it?"
"I know they call the people who work in there'Unspeakables,' " said Ron, frowning. "Because no onereally seems to know what they do in there. ... Weird placeto have a weapon ..."
"It's not weird at all, it makes perfect sense," saidHermione. "It will be something top secret that the Ministryhas been developing, I expect. ... Harry, are you sure you'reall right?"
For Harry had just run both his hands hard over hisforehead as though trying to iron it.
"Yeah ... fine ..." he said, lowering his hands, which weretrembling. "I just feel a bit ... I don't like Occlumency much...."
"I expect anyone would feel shaky if they'd had their mindattacked over and over again," said Hermionesympathetically. "Look, let's get back to the common room,we'll be a bit more comfortable there. ..."
But the common room was packed and full of shrieks oflaughter and excitement; Fred and George weredemonstrating their latest bit of joke shop merchandise.
"Headless Hats!" shouted George, as Fred waved apointed hat decorated with a fluffy pink feather at thewatching students. "Two Galleons each — watch Fred,now!"
Fred swept the hat onto his head, beaming. For a secondhe merely looked rather stupid, then both hat and headvanished.
Several girls screamed, but everyone else was roaringwith laughter.
"And off again!" shouted George, and Fred's hand gropedfor a moment in what seemed to be thin air over hisshoulder; then his head reappeared as he swept the pinkfeathered hat from it again.
"How do those hats work, then?" said Hermione,distracted from her homework and watching Fred andGeorge. "I mean, obviously it's some kind of InvisibilitySpell, but it's rather clever to have extended the field ofinvisibility beyond the boundaries of the charmed object. ...I'd imagine the charm wouldn't have a very long lifethough. ..."
Harry did not answer; he was still feeling ill.
"I'm going to have to do this tomorrow," he muttered,pushing the books he had just taken out of his bag backinside it.
"Well, write it in your homework planner then!" saidHermione encouragingly. "So you don't forget!"
Harry and Ron exchanged looks as he reached into hisbag, withdrew the planner and opened it tentatively.
"Don't leave it till later, you big second-rater!" chided thebook as Harry scribbled down Umbridge's homework.Hermione beamed at it.
"I think I'll go to bed," said Harry, stuffing the homeworkplanner back into his bag and making a mental note to dropit in the fire the first opportunity he got.
He walked across the common room, dodging George,who tried to put a Headless Hat on him, and reached thepeace and cool of the stone staircase to the boys'dormitories. He was feeling sick again, just as he had thenight he had had the vision of the snake, but thought that ifhe could just lie down for a while he would be all right.
He opened the door of his dormitory and was one stepinside it when he experienced pain so severe he thoughtthat someone must have sliced into the top of his head. Hedid not know where he was, whether he was standing orlying down, he did not even know his own name. ...
Maniacal laughter was ringing in his ears. ... He washappier than he had been in a very long time. ... Jubilant,ecstatic, triumphant ... A wonderful, wonderful thing hadhappened. ...
"Harry? HARRY!"
Someone had hit him around the face. The insanelaughter was punctuated with a cry of pain. The happinesswas draining out of him, but the laughter continued. ...
He opened his eyes and as he did so, he became awarethat the wild laughter was coming out of his own mouth.The moment he realized this, it died away; Harry laypanting on the floor, staring up at the ceiling, the scar onhis forehead throbbing horribly. Ron was bending over him,looking very worried.
"What happened?" he said.
"I ... dunno ..." Harry gasped, sitting up again. "He'sreally happy ... really happy ..."
"You-Know-Who is?"
"Something good's happened," mumbled Harry. He wasshaking as badly as he had done after seeing the snakeattack Mr. Weasley and felt very sick. "Something he's beenhoping for."
The words came, just as they had back in the Gryffindorchanging room, as though a stranger was speaking themthrough Harry's mouth, yet he knew they were true. Hetook deep breaths, willing himself not to vomit all over Ron.He was very glad that Dean and Seamus were not here towatch this time.
"Hermione told me to come and check on you," said Ronin a low voice, helping Harry to his feet. "She says yourdefenses will be low at the moment, after Snape's beenfiddling around with your mind. ... Still, I suppose it'll helpin the long run, won't it?"
He looked doubtfully at Harry as he helped him towardbed. Harry nodded without any conviction and slumpedback on his pillows, aching all over from having fallen to thefloor so often that evening, his scar still prickling painfully.He could not help feeling that his first foray intoOcclumency had weakened his mind's resistance ratherthan strengthening it, and he wondered, with a feeling ofgreat trepidation, what had happened to make LordVoldemort the happiest he had been in fourteen years.
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