Pretty Savage
50 Spoofing Questions
1: What is your name?
Lisa: Lisa.
Sehun: Sehun.
Lisa: Wait! Why's it him? Where is my Irene?
Sehun (scornfully): Hmph.
The Host: Fellow Lisa, please look at the title. It's '50 Spoofing Questions', not '50 Spouse Questions'.
Lisa: You could have chosen someone else rather than this unrelated fox!
Sehun: Unrelated? That's weird. I clearly remember that you are my sister-in-law... So you weren't my sister-in-law? I will find Irene a new one tomorrow.
Lisa: Neo...!
The Host: My god. Why is the first question taking so long? Let's proceed to the next question...
Lisa: You shut up!
2: Age?
Lisa: 28.
Sehun: 29.
Lisa: Really? I always thought you were 40+.
Sehun: ... (You'll pay for this.)
The host: Why has the temperature dropped...?
3: Gender?
Surprisingly, both Lisa and Sehun snorted together in tacit understanding.
4: What personality do you think you have?
Sehun: Kind-hearted.
Lisa (pondering): Probably not very good.
Sehun: So you actually knew...
Lisa: I'm not as shameless as you!
5: What about the other person's personality?
Lisa: Gloomy, surly, cunning and sinister
Sehun: Fickle, ungrateful, stupid and stubborn.
The Host: Both of them are very enthusiastic and orderly... Cold sweat...
6: When did you two first meet? Where was it?
Lisa: When I was 21. At a restaurant.
Sehun: When I was 22. I was having French cuisine with my cute younger sister when an uninvited guest popped up to have a free meal.
Lisa: I was invited by Irene alright? And I clearly arrived first!
7: What's your first impression of the other person?
Lisa: He said he's Irene's brother, but why didn't they look alike? He popped out randomly from nowhere and dared to take liberties with Irene. Don't tell me he's a fake?
Sehun: Why does my sister have a friend like this? So what if she was a little good looking? She's so obstinate.
Irene: Was it like that? I remembered the two of you smiling happily and conversing harmoniously. I had thought...
Lisa: Irene, when did you arrive? Why are you sitting beside the weird host? Come here quickly.
Irene: I was hired to be the arbitrator of this 50 questions session. You guys can continue answering.
Lisa (turns around and asked softly): Fox, what weird things have you fed Irene...?
8: What do you like about the other person?
Lisa: Ha!
Sehun: Her expression after being abused.
Lisa: You!
9: What do you hate about the other person?
Lisa: Always coming to find Irene.
Sehun: Pestering my sister everyday.
10: Do you and the other's personality mesh well?
Lisa and Sehun: Of course not.
11: How do you address the other person?
Lisa: It's usually Sehun. If there's no choice, I will address him as Director Oh. If possible, I wish that this name never appears again in my life.
Sehun: In front of Irene, I call her Lisa. In front of others, I call her Gumiho.
Lisa: ... (Calm, cold, calm)
12: What do you wish for the other to call you by?
Lisa: If possible, I wish that he will never have the chance to call me again.
Sehun: Heol, I just realized that even though this Lisa always has a bad temper, she is answering every question in today's Q&A session. Is it a symptom of attending too many variety shows?
Irene: Let's quickly proceed to the next question.
13: If the other is an animal, what would it be?
Lisa: What else is a better fit than fox? We often see his exposed fox tail.
Sehun: Pig, I guess.
Lisa: ...What?
Sehun: Are you not? All you do is eat and sleep.
Irene: Actually... Lisa has been doing the housework recently...
14: Does anything about the other dissatisfy you?? If yes, what?
Lisa and Sehun rolled up their sleeves: This question has finally come...
Irene: Jisoo, this question will take too long. Let's skip it.
Lisa: Irene, don't try to protect that fox!
15: Do you have any weakness?
Sehun: Me? All the readers feel that I'm perfect. I believe in everyone.
Lisa: Irene, let's go home.
16: What's the other's weakness?
Irene: Jisoo, please skip this question.
Jisoo: Not bad but not good.
17: What's something you hate the other person doing?
Lisa: I hate him always coming to my house whenever he is free. I hate him always bothering Irene whenever he is at the company. I hate him sowing discord for no reason. I hate him always taking liberties with my Irene. I hate him smoking to act cool. I hate him ordering a dish for Irene. I hate him calling me 'Gumiho'. I hate him acting like a human when he is clearly a fox...
The Host : Oh my, that's some deep hatred...
Irene: Jisoo, please stop asking similar questions. It's difficult to guard against them.
18: What is something you do that makes the other angry?
Sehun: She will be angry when our family is being happy and harmonious together.
Lisa: Your family being happy and harmonious means you and Irene being happy and harmonious!!!
Jisoo (quietly): I realized that Lisa is indeed really diligent when answering the questions...
Irene: She's indeed numb from all the talk shows.
19: What's the extent of the two of you's relationship?
Sehun: Clashing of bodies!
Lisa: Why use such a misleading description! It's fighting. Fighting!
Irene: Have the two of you fought behind my back? When?
20: Where was the two of you's first date?
Lisa and Sehun: Didn't we answer this earlier? The first time we met was at a restaurant.
21: What was the ambience like back then?
Irene: I clearly remember that it was a harmonious ambience.
Lisa: What's shown on the surface is different from what we were feeling within.
Sehun: The current is calm on the surface, but surging beneath.
22: Back then, what was the progress of your date?
Lisa: Handshake.
Sehun: Handshake. Then washing hands.
Lisa: ...
Irene: Lisa, calm down, calm down.
23: Which date spots do you guys often go to?
Sehun: KTV, bar, restaurant, amusement park and home. Actually, it's always Irene who decides on the location.
Irene: I will look through more handbooks to find out more activities to do in the city.
24: How would you celebrate the other's birthday?
Irene: I will carefully plan for Lisa's birthday every year. Usually...
Sehun: Lisa, how many times have you celebrated Irene's birthday?
Lisa: I... Stop trying to sow discord!
25: Who's the one who confessed?
Lisa: Irene. (Beautiful smile)
Sehun: My disappointing noona needs to improve her taste in lover.
26: To what extent do you like the other?
Sehun: I dislike Lisa very much.
Lisa: As if I like you!
27: Then, is it love?
The two of them looked at each other in mutual dislike.
28: What is something the other says that you can't go against?
Lisa: "Irene, go to the meeting with me." Just where does all the numerous number of meetings come from!
Sehun: Irene, let's go to a meeting after answering the questions.
Irene: ...
29: Have you ever suspected the other of being fickle? What will you do?
Sehun: Yes, I'm constantly suspecting her. Of course, if I find out that she has done my sister wrong, I will cook her slowly with gentle heat and let her sodden in the pot till no scum is left behind... Hehehehe...
Lisa: I'm not fickle!
30: Can you tolerate fickleness?
Sehun: Want to try dying this once...
The host: ... (Gasp! Sehun watches Hell Girl too?)
31: What would you do if you went on a date but the other is one hour late?
Lisa: Persuade Irene not to wait anymore and to go home with me.
Sehun: Tell Irene that one should know how to enjoy life. Time is very precious, let's dump this one and find a younger and prettier one.
The host: The latter is more ruthless...
32: Which part of the other's body do you like the most?
Sehun: To be honest, I like the whole of Lisa's body.
Lisa: !!
Sehun: Lisa's body is like a banknote, she is a great source of income for the company. Don, don, don.
Irene: ... That's true.
Lisa: Irene, don't go along with him!
33: What does the other do that is the sexiest?
Lisa: Please don't associate the word 'sexy' with fox Oh. I can't accept it.
Sehun: Everytime I see her pretending to be sexy in those posters, I feel chilled...
34: When do you feel anxious?
Lisa: ...
The host: You look like you have something to say.
Sehun: Ha, isn't it when I call her saying "Irene is staying with me tonight"...
Lisa: ... (Clenching her teeth)
35: Have you ever lied to the other? Are you good at it?
Sehun: Mrs. Fickle Man over here is very good at it.
Lisa: I'm very honest. You're the one who's always lying!
36: When do you feel the happiest?
Lisa: When I'm with Irene.
Irene: ... (Smile)
Sehun: When my sister is not with her.
37: Have you guys argued before?
Sehun: Yes.
38: What kind of argument was it?
Sehun: The most serious one was when she hit my sister.
Lisa: ...
Irene: Sehun...
Sehun: I'm just answering the question.
39: How do you reconcile?
Lisa: ...
Irene: ...
Lisa: Fine fine. Nowadays, I will take the initiative to lower my head!
Sehun: Oh, you have finally learnt...
40: Will you become lovers even in the next life?
Sehun: No! Jeoldae andwae!!
Lisa: Who wants to be with you! I can't wait for you to not bother Irene and I in the next life!
41: When is it that you feel 'I'm being loved'?
Sehun: The rare moments when Irene calls me "brother".
Lisa: Irene, don't ever call him "brother" again in the future!
42: When is it that you feel 'Don't you love me?'?
Sehun: Ah. I've never doubted Irene's feelings for me before.
Lisa: Stop trying to be so misleading!
43: How do you express your love?
Lisa: Cooking for Irene.
Sehun: Pig, your cooking is definitely the way you express your hate...
Lisa: I'm still learning! And I have been constantly improving. Isn't that right, Irene?
Irene: ... (Looking away)
44: What flower suits the other?
Sehun: A white chrysanthemum... The one you offer before the memorial tablet...
Lisa: You...
45: Is there a secret between the two of you?
Sehun: Should I share it with Irene?
Irene: What is it?
Lisa: Irene, don't be tricked by him so easily!
46: Do you have a complex?
Lisa: He longs for his sister!
Sehun: She longs for my sister!
Lisa: What's wrong with me longing for your sister!
47: Do the people around know about your relationship or is it a secret?
Lisa and Sehun: It's very open.
Irene (sigh): Everyone knows that they are on bad terms.
48: Do you think your love will be everlasting?
Sehun: I will find many excellent men for Irene to pick in hopes Irene will jump out of the pit earlier.
Lisa: Hmph, you will never see that day!
49: Do you think it's acceptable to have sex with someone else other than your lover?
Lisa: No.
Sehun: Why not? Haven't you done it before?
Lisa: From now on, I won't do it with anyone else except Irene.
Sehun: Hmph. Let's wait and see.
50: Lastly, say something to the other~
Sehun: Treat my sister well.
Lisa: You can be rest assured. Also, stop coming to my house if you have nothing on. (Pulls Irene away at rocket speed)
—■—
Fin.
Thank you for reading.
Shooooong!!
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