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I can feel the male's stare on me.

I turn back to look at him. He grins and I tilt my head, unused to this kind of attention. I don't know what had suddenly caught his interest as his eyes roam up and down my skin. I had battled him the day before, both of us the same age therefore in the same class.

I had known him for a handful of years due to being placed in training together, but never had any close interactions.

He sees me watching him also, and he approaches me.

"Behind the training building at 11 pm."

He walks away before turning back at the last second to add, "and this isn't a fight, Vera."

I sigh and watch him walk away. I consider him as I watch him fight throughout the day. Maybe. It might be worth it.

I could sense the change coming over the males after we had turned 15. It was subtle but there. The soul of the wolf was coming closer and closer to them. They were looking at me, the only female left in the training grounds, with new eyes.

I made sure the male who had spoken to me won all his fights.

He even won fights against me.

He seemed to be one of the top fighters and I could not find anyone who was better than him as I watched.

I can't help but smile as I realize this is why it was him out of all the males who had been bold enough to approach me.

Fine. I could use him if he let me.

Just as he said, he is waiting for me at night, leaning against the wall with arms crossed. No one comes to the training grounds at this time of night.

I walk to him and he pushes off the building, a smile coming to his face as he sees me approach. But before he can speak, I am pushing him back.

He moans as I kiss him.

There is so much anger in me, so much rage. It's not enough to fight. Sometimes fighting did not get all of it out and sometimes there was a restless feeling in me that would never go away.

He switches positions and now I am the one with my back pressed against the wall.

My fingers go to his hair and I want him closer.

"More," I demand. He seems happy to supply.

"Fuck," he hisses, rubbing his neck that I have lightly nipped at. His eyes are dancing in excitement. His enthusiasm is renewed as he goes back to kissing me. I open my mouth, letting him in and hearing his moan roll into me.

My hands go to his waist, fingers digging into his flesh as I bring him closer. I move my lower body to grind against him, to release the build up that is coming, and I want satisfied.

I growl when he pulls back. He shakes his head and laughs, "I knew you would be wild, Vera."

He looks around, "we have to go. Tomorrow?"

"No...Just come every other day."

He moves back to me, hungrily kissing me.

"Ah..." he sucks on my neck. I don't bother to push him away, even when I know it will leave a mark. They could think it was a bruise for all I cared but I know he is purposely trying to mark me in his own juvenile way.

The next day I see the looks I receive. I stare them down, willing them to say anything. They don't. They don't have the balls to. The instructors glare at me but don't say a word.

Whore.

Slut.

Is that what they thought?

But who the fuck cared?

I could turn back and point to them and say 'murderer.'

I could point to the youth who trained with me and say, 'your parents are all murderers. You took away an entire generation. Just to claim something you didn't need. You are the children of killers.'

I don't bother to learn the name of the male I am using. I don't want to use any of their names. Using names implied that they were a person. Something human. They had killed elders and children in front of me. They had taken away my people and turned those who were left, against me. They didn't deserve me to learn their names.

There is a male in front of me. We are fighting. He has beaten me before. But his fighting today has turned into something playful as if he has seen the mark on my neck as a sign of weakness.

I am pinned to the ground and his hips roll against me.

And to his surprise I move my hips to go in the same motion as his. A startled groan leaves him and before he can say a word I am flipping him over.

All activity stops as the male's scream pierces the air and the crack of his arm is heard.

He clings to it as I stand over him, his face livid in a promise to deliver equal pain. But I only grin down at him. He should never have underestimated me.

The instructors quickly pull me away, another going to the fallen male to examine him. I watch as the instructor's eyes flash up at me in fury at the actions I have taken too far.

I laugh, the sound carrying over to the male who is still on the ground as he spits, "Bitch. I'll rip your throat out."

My laughter only rises to hysteria as I shake my head at him, "you're so fucking weak!"

The instructors continue to drag me away, their movements violent and forceful.

Halfway through, I realize where they are taking me, and my grin only widens. I had been taken here just a handful of times. In the span of over three years, my actions had rarely reached the point where they needed to physically take me to him.

But I certainly was the most troublesome student they had. I had gone the most out of everyone else combined.

They drag me into the house. The others who are there watch and take me in with disgust. I was the daughter of the former leader. I was someone who should not have been allowed to live.

They knock on the door and I hear his voice. "In."

He looks up and sighs, "what has she done now."

I laugh and look up at the instructors. One is glaring down at me while the other speaks, "she broke Emmet's arm. It was supposed to be a light drill with no-,"

The leader holds his hand up, his eyes fixated on me.

"Leave her here."

Both instructors pause. The usual action that normally was done was him giving some form of punishment - no food for this many days, cleaning this, running this amount of length- and so on. They were not there to leave me with him. They just wanted to know how I should be dealt with.

But neither says a word as they let go of my arms and close the door behind me.

He is still staring at me. His eyes are narrowed as he slowly gets up and walks to me.

I stand, crossing my arms and looking up to read his face.

"What is this?" I move away from his finger that has lightly grazed my neck.

"A hickey."

His eyes flash to me, his smile twisting into something ugly.

"Why is it there?"

"I need to explain to you how a hickey is made?" I roll my eyes, "if that's all, then can I go? That male was a complete-,"

His arms have suddenly come up on either side of me, slamming and pressing against the wall to cage me in.

I glare up at him as he tilts his head, looking down.

"What male was an idiot enough to be alone with you and give you that?"

I laugh, "as if I can remember his name."

His grin holds no emotion. There is not the usual spark of laughter that I can sometimes see. 

Instead, I observe a silent fury.

I wait for him to speak, my mind suddenly realizing that something about this encounter is off.

"So you're whoring yourself out?"

I move to punch him, but he catches my fist, his grin widening.

"Is that why you went too far today? Breaking arms and breaking hearts are we now, sweetheart?"

"So what if I'm whoring myself out."

He freezes, his head angling to inspect me.

"What?"

I narrow my eyes at him, "it has nothing to do with you-,"

His body slams against me forcing me to press against the wall as he gives me no space between.

"Nothing to do with me?" He laughs, "I'm your whole world, Vera. Don't I consume all your thoughts? Do you even have any left to spare for some other male?"

He moves his head down, his lips grazing my neck. I can feel canines. He can end it now. He can bite my throat and rip it. He can end everything right here right now and that thought- that thought makes me close my eyes in relief.

It should have ended that first night.

His voice is sharp as he suddenly says, "Vera. Look at me."

I sigh and look up, meeting his amber eyes as they evaluate and scan my face.

"Are you giving up on me?"

My anger is renewed in his words as the heat inside me flares to life.

I glare up at him, "you do fill my thoughts. Every second of every day I'm consumed with the idea of what it would look like to stick a knife in your throat."

He smiles down at me, "there's my girl."

I struggle against him, "I'm not your-,"

"Then whose are you?" He traces the outline of the hickey again. "Whose girl are you?"

"No one's," I hiss. "I don't belong to someone."

"I wonder if you have an Alam...," he seems genuinely curious as he asks this. His hand raises to tuck a piece of loose hair behind my ear. I snap at him before he can pull away, my teeth sinking into the flesh of his hand.

He grabs my face, ripping it off.

I laugh as I watch him cradle his bleeding flesh. He laughs with me, but his sound holds barely contained anger as he looks in my direction.

"You're fucking crazy and I love it," he throws his head and his laughter only grows louder.

I shrink away from him, looking to where the door was. He was taunting me again. Belittling me. I was always the source for his amusement. Something pathetic that he chose day after day to keep alive.

I only look back at him, not bothering to hide the anger that was there.

"You need a punishment for breaking this male's arm," he fully stands and leans his neck to the side, cracking it. "Let's go. I have something in mind."

*   *   *

We are back at the training grounds. The other males are watching us. The leader is smiling, something fierce and dangerous in his grin as he watches me.

"Who was it?"

His eyes search the males that are training. 

I know what he is asking. I don't point out the male though. I don't even let my eyes wander in his direction.

The leader takes all this in and laughs.

"Get on your knees."

I look up at him in confusion. He raises an eyebrow waiting, but I don't move.

"Now, Vera."

The instructors who had originally taken me into his office are waiting in anticipation. Their eyes hold excitement as they take me and my misery in.

But I don't move.

"Just kill me," I sigh, "honestly. I'm not-,"

The leader pushes down on my shoulder forcefully, causing me to fall and land on my knees. I try to get up, but he keeps pressing me down.

My head snaps up to glare at him. He only smiles and removes his hand when he is sure I will stay.

"You'll remain here until you tell me which male."

I lean my head, narrowing my eyes.

"Why does this bother you?"

His smile falters, "this doesn't bother me."

"It does," I counter, "but why?"

He only stares down at me, his expression unreadable. I can feel all of their eyes on me. I shake my head and look up at the leader.

I smile and his look suddenly becomes weary.

"You...you really don't know me do you..." I laugh, "I have nothing to lose. You think humiliation is the right way to go? You think I care?"

"Then why won't you tell me?"

It's a circle we are going back and forth in.

Without another word, I raise my hand and point to one of the instructors. The instructor looks around wildly before my hand goes to the male next to him. And then I'm pointing to a male in the distance. And another, and another.

"Stop it," the leader growls.

I only laugh, "you yourself called me a whore. I'm only proving your words!"

I point to them all and continue laughing.

He suddenly lifts me, pulling me up to my feet.

"New plan," his tone is the closest to defeat I have ever heard as he turns to the still baffled instructors, "three days. No food or water."

He tosses me at them and walks away.

*   *   *

Three days of no food or water was a punishment I was used to. It was almost lame how unoriginal he had ended up making it.

I still laugh sometimes when I think of the route his original plan had gone. He had wanted to cause me to back down or be humiliated.

It made me angry, but in a different way.

For over three years the leader has been watching me. Three years and he knew nothing about me. He wasn't taking me seriously. I knew everything about him. He was right. He consumed my thoughts. He filled up my mind.

I watched him for weaknesses, I tried to see what flaws he had. I wanted to know any advantage I could take.

But he had not been watching me.

After three days I was released.

It was on a whim that I decided to go behind the training grounds. The male was there though.

"Out of jail, Vera?" He is sitting, leaning against the building.

"I don't want to hear it."

He smiles, "fine. We don't have to talk."

My movements are full of anger as I straddle him. I wrap my legs around him and forcefully rip open his shirt.

He groans as I lean close and begin kissing his chest. I was beginning to realize that training could help consume my thoughts, but in the night, when I had nothing left to occupy my mind, this was something that could help ease my anger and pain.

It's another week before the leader comes to the training grounds to inspect us. Punishments happen so often to me, that my mentality was to forget them and move on.

I had forgotten the events that transpired in his office. His anger matched my own as I glared at him. At first it made me confused about what he could even be angry for. But then I rolled my eyes when I remembered the hickies that I did not bother to hide.

Disgusting.

The instructors thought they were disgusting, but for some reason the males around me treated me differently.

They were beginning to grudgingly accept me. I had expected the complete opposite, but their reaction was closer to the thought of we know you can handle yourself. We know not to mess with you.

Tonight was not a night for me and the male to meet.

I stayed behind therefore in the training grounds, not even realizing that everyone else had left until I heard the leader's voice behind me.

"You don't openly attack me anymore."

I turn around to face him.

He is leaning against the wooden fence, his arms crossed as he looks into the training area, at me.

I sigh and continue stretching, "I did that when I was young and foolish."

"You're still young and foolish."

I scoff at his words, straightening out to look at him.

I meet his gaze. His eyes are narrowed at me, his nose raised to smell the air as he takes me in.

"I can smell him all over you."

I laugh, "I fight with males all day."

He shakes his head, "this male. There is one male that stands out."

I shrug, "I need something to let my anger out on."

It's the wrong words to say for some reason. I take a step back as he uses one hand to jump over the fence. His steps are heavy and full of anger as he leans to bend over me.

"What did you say? You need something to let your anger out on?" A laughter full of disbelief leaves him, "isn't that what I'm for?"

There is silence between us as I trip and try to think over his words. Before I laugh and look up at him, "when I was young-,"

"Oh? Need a different release? Fighting isn't enough? Or is it because you know you'll lose?"

I glare at him, rocking back and forth on my feet to gain the momentum I may need to punch him.

"I'm done with this. I'm leaving."

He suddenly grabs my wrist.

I hiss and try to hit away his contact, but he laughs and pulls me closer to him.

"Get away from me."

"Fight me."

"I'll fight you when I want to. Not when you feel like it."

He tugs forcefully at my hand, causing me to fall against him as he growls, "Vera...fight me."

He is standing over me. I can feel his breath hitting the top of my head. So without warning I jump. I jump and let my skull collide into his chin, knocking him back.

He stumbles a few steps, his hand immediately going to clench his jaw.

I kick out, hitting his stomach. But it does nothing. He laughs and grabs my ankle, pulling me and causing me to fall to the ground. He is attempting to raise me, but I fold forward, my hands clawing at his own that hold me.

He drops me and I sweep my leg towards him, hitting him and making him fall.

I immediately crawl on him, not wanting to waste a second at the advantage I have. I can only get one punch in before he is rolling over, his hands already grabbing my wrist to pin me down.

My knee goes up, but he has learned from all the past times I've aimed there. He deftly dodges it, laughing at how predictable I have become.

Until I rise up to meet his body. He stumbles in his action at the new strategy I have done. My mouth goes to his neck and I see him flinch, but my teeth don't sink into flesh. My lips find him and suck. I feel satisfaction and disgust in me when I hear a startled moan escape his lips.

Without warning I raise my knee, kicking his groin. He is pushed off me, falling onto his back. I stand and kick his side, spitting down at him.

"Vera," he reaches for me, but I jump back a few steps, avoiding his attempt to grab me.

"I could kill you right now," I hiss.

He laughs, still on his back and winded. "Vera. I always fight you in skin. I could shift this very second and end you."

I raise my eyebrows at him, "you think I care?"

He turns to look at me, "you should."

"Well I don't," I answer, "I don't. I don't care if I never accomplish my goal. I don't care if I never really do end up killing you. I don't care if fate is cruel and in the end, you're the one who takes my life."

He slowly sits up, "why?"

I shrug. He should have already known this about me. "You're not what I live for. It's not the thought of killing you that makes me get up every morning."

"If you say your par-,"

"Seeing them again."

He watches me as I turn to fully face him. "The idea that one day I'll see them again. That's what makes me think I have to keep it up. To have something to tell them when we finally meet."

He laughs, a humorless chuckle, "tell them what? Hey mom and dad! Guess what I did? I killed the bastard that took your life. Oh, but then I killed myself. Great times."

He stands and brushes himself off, still laughing at me, "you're such a dramatic little teen, Vera."

I don't break my gaze away from him. His smile slips and he takes a step closer. I watch him with weary eyes as he tilts his head to evaluate me.

"I'm going to kill you."

His look becomes serious. Something hard and dangerous flashes into his eyes as he takes another step closer.

"That won't happen."

"It will," I promise him, "one day."